Maybe sunk cost fallacy at that point. Plus it's not like you can divorce your partner in those woke circles for being trans without getting ostracized. Personally I'd not value the friendship of anyone easily manipulated by the partner but I've already been through a manipulative relationship where you have them trying to involve third parties and guilt you into doing what they want, and god if I've seen it happen many times, I'm like look, this is a private matter, I don't appreciate them making it a public matter but I can't control them, please respect our friendship and my wishes by staying out of it.

If they don't I just ignore them. Maybe block them if particularly annoying. Usually with these kind of toxic relationships I've noticed one party really has no qualms with publicly airing all their problems and telling everyone how horrible the other person is. And one party is silent about it. I'm inclined to believe the silent party is the reasonable one. If both are drama queens well, popcorn time.