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[–]Alienhunter糞大名 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (17 children)

I'd do some research into the connection between autism and self described aesexuality personally. I find it somewhat a compelling argument that autistic people don't really have the same cognitive processing as normal people and make decisions and judgements at are not necessarily in line with what most people would consider normal. I've noticed a few that don't seem to get that instinctual understanding of human relationships and don't understand why certain behaviors are sexually acceptable in public and certain are not. And while they certainly don't lack for sexual function I don't know if they are cognitively aware of their own sexual excitement. I think it's a bit like the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing.

Also see the opposite in people with down syndrome and the like. Sexual drive works completely normally, cognitive development hasn't quite gotten to the point where they can think "I shouldn't act on my desire to kiss this person".

[–]JerzyZulawski 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

I used to be active in the asexual community and have been to 3 asexuality conferences... basically every male asexual I've spoken to is asexual because they have a fetish that's the only thing that turns them on. So a straight asexual guy might have no interest in sex with women because the only activity he enjoys is, say, being trampled by a woman in stilettos, or watching a hot chick pop balloons, or jerking off to a girl wearing a plaster cast. The kink activity takes the place of sex. A lot of guys in the asexual community are like this and closeted - they identify as asexual publicly because they're ashamed of their fetish and/or because it's easier to explain to people. I left the asexual community before the wokeness completely took over and partly because I realized what was going on under the surface (at least on the male side) was unhealthy.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Sounds like good old internet porn addiction to me.

[–]JerzyZulawski 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Paraphilias are much deeper and more hard-wired with that. Someone with one wouldn't even look at porn because they would have no interest in sex. They'd look for pictures relating to their kink instead (pictures which may not even be obviously sexual let alone pornographic... e.g. pictures of feet, shoes, clowns, people getting muddy, object destruction, whatever).

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

What causes them? Are they ingrained at birth or not? Developed later? Does the unlimited access to them on the internet have any effect on people?

[–]JerzyZulawski 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It's not known, but early experiences and surroundings play a big role, and that includes the media environment and internet access, as you suggest. They're not ingrained at birth but develop in early childhood. Taboos in different countries play a role - i.e. Japan has a far higher rate of men with fart fetishes than Western countries do. Zoophiles are much more likely to have grown up on a farm or at least in a farming community. Men with amputee fetishes often report knowing or meeting an amputee when they were kids. The fetishistic male brain has a tendency to sexually imprint onto things. And full-fledged AGPs often have an absent mother (their mom left or died when they were a kid, or was unloving/emotionally absent, or they weren't otherwise close to their mother).

One theory is that these kinds of hard-wired fetishes have their roots in childhood psychosexual fears, which is why so many of them are of things that are frightening (uniforms, pain, bondage, subjugation, plaster casts, missing limbs, balloons popping, giants, clowns, medical procedures, asphyxiation) or gross (urine, farting, mud, vomit etc.). Kinks may be a psychosexual defense mechanism whereby the developing brain sexualizes a stimulus that it finds too overwhelming to process in order to render it safe. A sexualised trauma response. Another model for understanding fetishes is as a sort of sexual synesthesia, where instead of sounds being perceived as colors or tastes as shapes, other types of interaction stand in for intercourse, and other body parts or objects become the primary erotic focus in place of the genitalia. This concept of erotic target location errors explains why some fetishes are more common than others, and has some speculative biological grounding in the case of the foot fetish: the genitalia and feet are located next to each other in our brains’ cortical homunculus of sensory input, so this common kink at least may simply be a matter of overlapping wires.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am like this but I had a completely normal upbringing with no trauma.

[–]jet199 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Also some people seem to be more at risk of developing paraphilias, most people who have them have more than one and there tends to be a family history.

I wonder if there is a like with personality disorders because many have narcissistic personality disorder.

Personality disorders also tend to stem from childhood trauma.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was like that from the very beginning. My whole brain is very messed up, I think that's why. I also have issues with gender dysphoria, my developmental hormones were probably out of whack.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, I do that. The pictures are usually pretty obvious though, no one is interested in those things besides people who have a fetish for it.

[–]Athelhilda4 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

What about the women?

[–]JerzyZulawski 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

With the women it's something different. It's just the men who have paraphilias.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe with women it's just "normal", because most men are only turned on by visual elements while this is not usually true of women.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think for women it's just "normal", because men are usually expected to be almost entirely visual. I also suspect this fetish thing might be the only way to release male sexual urges in the case that there's no sexuality. Women are generally no less horny but it's not really a bodily need for them. For men it's almost like going to the bathroom because they release something rather than merely receiving it.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm similar, but I don't hide and my fantasy often doesn't include other people at all. My guess is since the male sex drive is a bodily need it has to find some way to get it out, even without sexual attraction.

[–]Vulptexghost fox girl ^w^ 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe a critical part of developing sexuality is social pressure. If autistic people don't pick up on that they may simply never develop a normal one. I sure don't have one.

[–]FlyingKangaroo 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It’s an interesting insight. People differ but it’s also true that many might experience what you described. I remember hearing somewhere this remark on people with Down syndrome too.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's rather sad. I feel bad for the people with Downs syndrome because they are obviously lonely and have the same "needs" as other people but oftentimes they really lack the mental capacity to be in a healthy relationship. There's no malice behind it but it's pretty sad to watch the confused disappointment when you have to turn down their "advances" or the confused terror when people who don't understand it get understandably very angry at the unwanted advances. They simply can't understand why. Most improve over time with age though. The teenage years are rough for them however.