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[–]Alienhunter糞大名 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (37 children)

They're confused. They think that not thinking about or wanting sex all the time somehow makes them special.

No see, caring about the emotional aspect of the relationship more than the physical aspect doesn't make you aesexual. It just means you aren't a nymphomaniac.

[–]YJaewedwqewq 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (20 children)

Considering the statistics on homosexuals and their partners, not being a nympho freak does make them pretty standout in the "LGBT community".

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (18 children)

Most people understand that not wanting to have sex with everyone all the time is normal and don't say anything about it. It's only weirdos that want other people to think they are special that think up labels for their normality. It's basically hipsterism.

[–]FlyingKangaroo 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (17 children)

Exactly. That’s also how the term demisexuality was coined, when in reality that was a normal behavior (for anyone who isn’t a nymphomaniac who would have sex with literally anyone without any emotional attachment). Wanting to be special so bad.

[–]Newzok 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (16 children)

All the people I've met who labelled themselves demisexual, nb, pan etc have been autistic types. I have no idea what the connection is but I suspect this shit is a fandom to them.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

I know someone who is otherwise just a normal girl in a lesbian relationship who described herself as asexual. I don't think either of the girls are sexually active, I think their relationship is better described by normies as BFF forever. Though I don't pry into their intimate lives because it's none of my business. I've gotten then distinct impression both were abused sexually as kids and have a kind of ingrained phobia of men, or rather an ingrained phobia of sex with men if we really want to get into it.

They seem happy enough. I can't fault anything with them besides the identity shit not making sense. But I think it's caused by traumatic childhood experiences. They both strike me as normal straight girls. But again, I'm not going to probe their intimate lives and breach their privacy there so I'm not sure.

[–]Greykittymomma 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

This so much. Many girls want to transition due to sexual pressures from men so I assume pretending to be asexual or gay would happen sometimes too.

They just don't need any special treatment for being sexually fucked up. Everyone is in some way I'm sure.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I've heard from more than one girl that they are disgusted by the fact that men find them physically attractive and they seem to think all other women think the same as they do.

It seems bizzare to me. Most women I think like to be considered beautiful. I can only assume there's some kind of underlying traumatic sexual experience.

[–]Greykittymomma 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Absolutely!

[–]jet199 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Not having sex is pretty standard in long term lesbian relationship though.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I mean it's not unusual in straight relationships long term either. Sexless marriages are a thing. Don't think it's an exclusively lesbian issue. Think it's more a female sex drive thing.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

, I think their relationship is better described by normies as BFF forever

That's typical of lesbians, they know it too.

I've gotten then distinct impression both were abused sexually as kids and have a kind of ingrained phobia of men, or rather an ingrained phobia of sex with men if we really want to get into it.

I refer to them as cock trauma lesbians. It's them, the pixie queers like Ellen, and the butch lesbians who look like Kathy Bates, who pretty much describe all lesbians who aren't just going through a phase in college.

[–]jet199 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

I've seen autistic people say they go through puberty later which I doubt is true.

Maybe they mean they go through the emotional effects of puberty later, in their early twenties, which would make sense of why so many think there is something wrong with them when all their friends the same age are going crazy trying to get a boy/girlfriend.

[–]Newzok 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hmm delayed adolescence. I had that a bit, due to being a closet case until my early 20s. Lots of shit to explore that most get out of their system in their teens. Might be plausible, yeah. And identity is certainly part of that. But I still think that for them, identity gets taken to this place that doesn't quite add up but seems similar to the rest- possibly because of some implicit or emotional aspect of these things going completely unnoticed.

[–]ClassroomPast6178 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Doesn’t need autism for that, helicopter parenting will delay maturity in teens used to being driven about and having all their issues handled by mummy.

I bet if they did a demographic analysis of teen girls transing/asexual and they’d find middle to upper middle class families, and a mother who does everything for them. It certainly looks that way when you look at boys being transed as toddlers/tweens.

[–]jet199 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Also being generally geeky will cause you to ignore relationships until later.

Introverts will use all sorts of distractions to avoid social interactions, including learning.

[–]ClassroomPast6178 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Definitely, but geeky types have existed for time immemorial, helicoptered kids are a new invention and would add a layer of explanation for the surge (along with social contagion, internet access etc).

Haidt and Twenge have both talked and written at length about it.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I agree. The rise in helicopter parenting can be attributed to a lot of social problems now. It existed in the past but for various reasons was much less common.

Like most kids are going to get coddled a bit by their mothers usually but there's enough of a dynamic between society, the other parent, family, etc to kinda cull that and get the kid away from it a bit when things go off the rails. Recently though I think with the kind of atomization of society it's become far more prevalent and people don't really step in. Sometimes teenage rebellion will fix it, but some kids seem to remain useless well into their 20's and 30's.

I kinda prefer the term bulldozer parents for these cause it's not just the parents hovering around watching the kids constantly and not letting them make their own mistakes, that's bad enough but at least you're making the kids do shit even if you're treating them like they live in 1984, bulldozer parents just straight up remove the obstacles from their kids way. Kid has a problem at school? Parent fights their battle for them. Adult teenagers Xbox breaks, parents call the company for them. Kid has an issue with their grade in a college class, parent calls the school and fights the grade for them. Kid gets turned down for a job interview? Parent calls the company and complains.

Like goddamn of course your kid is a useless lump and emotional trainwreck.

Like can you imagine what your teenage years would be like if your parents called your date and asked them out for you? Won't be getting very many dates. I'd think these kids would likely end up feeling aesexual. Nothing made me lose interest in someone faster as a teen than my parents meddling.

[–]FlyingKangaroo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

There is also a huge community which is a mix of autistic people being SJWs. Perhaps because SJWs act is if they want to fight for better treatment of autistic but not really. Enough to also say that certain people with diagnoses who speak against the woke stuff are being silenced in any discussions (from what I saw while browsing Reddit and the original TiA).

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I mean I think it's more that autistic people become fixated on certain things. SJW groups tend to be more outwardly celebratory of such conditions which tbf, autistic people will find welcoming, they do need acceptance as well, and the whole anti-bullying fever will be attractive to socially awkward people who are the target of bullying. Doesn't surprise me.

Course autistic people aren't stupid just lacking in the social graces so there will be plenty of them on the opposite side of the fence as well, but for activist bullshit it's all about language manipulation and double standards and the like which frankly autistic people are not generally so good at navigating adeptly.

Plus the anti-SJW side let's be fair had the "bullies" now a lot of the "bullies" are just typical male bonding behavior of ripping on the other guy because it shows a kind of social acceptance and respect, and you are expected to rip on them back, but this is one of those shall we say tricky double standard and language minefields that autistic people find difficult to navigate as well so it's hard for them when they take things like "Omg you're so retarded" literally instead of the socially acceptable answer of "yeah your mom told me that last night too"

[–]FlyingKangaroo 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s the SJWs that exploit people. Reminds me of how I enraged one girl who was wondering whether she is autistic or not. So far all the specialists denied the possible diagnosis. I mean, autism in women in still not researched enough. But she also had this toxic mentality that being autistic = being perfectly good (as well as not as these evil white cis men). I told her that whether she will finally get a diagnosis or not won’t change anything about her personality. Diagnosis could give new insights about oneself though. I told her that she shouldn’t fetishize autism as if it’s something that makes you better than others and if more than one person claims most likely she isn’t autistic, there’s something to think about. Then she blocked me.

I also agree with the last part of your comment. I can see these bonding patterns too (in men).

[–]FlyingKangaroo 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Also good to note they never belonged to the LGBT, contrary what the woke say.

[–]jet199 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (14 children)

I think it's more an attraction thing. Who you feel sexual attraction to.

It's completely normal for straight women to not find men consciously attractive. In fact often ugly men have more actual sexual pull than cute men because high levels of testosterone make you look like a bag of spanners.

0% of women think any man is in the most attractive category based on looks alone. https://i.imgur.com/hVc9c2a.png

Much like being demisexual, most asexuals are just women who never speak to other women irl and don't read so think every normal female feeling they have must be a super special magic power.

[–]QueenBread 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (13 children)

Excuse me, but this is BULLSHIT. So many men promoting the idea that "the male form is not attractive" or that "men aren't usually considered hot, even by women".... which is 1) egocentic: straight men projecting their own preferences unto women; 2) myosginistic: "women cannot possibly find men hot, especially since they don't find me hot"!

No, buddy, usually women do find men hot and are turned on by hot dudes. And very much "consciously" so. It's natural.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

I think it's mostly straight men who think they aren't attractive because duh, if you're a straight man you're not going to be impressed by what you see in the mirror. Lol.

Women do the same thing, I can't being to to tell you how many women have told me they are ugly, too fat, or whatever else, no you're fine, maybe you won't be fashion model but if you think you aren't attractive that's because you're not gay.

[–]QueenBread 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Exactly. The difference being that straight women don't go like "I don't find myself or other women sexy, so that means women aren't sexy in general". But straight men sometimes will go "I don't find myself or other men sexy, so that means men aren't sexy in general". So dumb.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know I don't think you have the whole femcel presence that you get on the internet with mancels just cause of sex difference in behavior of who approaches who, but I've had some pretty weird talks with women who are stupid like that. I remember having one argument with a woman who maintained the position that breasts were not sexually attractive and that men were wrong to be sexually attracted to them. Lol ok. Like I think it would be weird for women to be attracted to their own bodies if they were straight, but you're just gonna be like, I don't find it attractive so no one should. Lol. Ok. Let's just ignore what men are interested in who cares what they think. It's not like I'm ever gonna date them I'm straight! Oh wait.

[–]alladd 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

whenever people pull this self-pity shit i always just go "why would someone want to fuck themselves?"

how narcissistic would you have to be to pull a Ciara in the mirror?

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I don't think it's s case of wanting to fuck yourself.

You compare yourself with an idealized image of what you consider to be masculine or feminine and then get depressed because you don't have the body of a porn star and think you are ugly. Which is retarded because you know full well that your standards of others isn't near as strict as that, I hope.

Like I get that girls are worried about being fat and that's good thing, but being a literal toothpick is also unattractive as fuck. People don't wanna fuck someone that looks like a skeleton addicted to cigarettes. Eat some damn meat.

[–]jet199 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That's plain not true.

If I go out in a group with a stick thin friend they will be the one who gets the most attention and the most offers even if her face is like a beak.

It's definitely attractive to a large number of guys for some reason or another.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Are we talking stick thin by American standards or stick thin by starving African standards? American thin isn't really that thin, but anorexic thin is pretty unattractive imho. But who knows, I'm not exactly normal.

[–]Wanderingthehalls 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Do people really not find themselves attractive? I like how I look quite a bit. Like I'm not going to wank off to my reflection or anything but I like my natural shape and I like that I generally stay fit enough to look relatively close to my best potential version of myself. I have lots of physical faults and I am well aware that not everyone, or even most people will be attracted to me but overall I genuinely like how I look.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Think it's just the subtle difference between having self esteem and narcissism. I have the opposite problem where I don't care enough about my appearance to bother with much. Would be easier to stay in shape if I was disgusted by what I saw so I could use that as motivation to eat better and exercise more. Same reason why casinos don't have mirrors.

[–]Wanderingthehalls 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I used to be like that. I got quite overweight but was still fine with what I looked like so didn't really care. I tend to put fat on very evenly, so I was fat but with a nice enough shape, so not too bothered. I was pretty lucky to fall into a sport that I absolutely love right before middle age. So I started taking care of my body to be the best I can be at that. How I look is secondary to how I perform but I'd be a liar if I said that how I look now doesn't make me happy. And that I don't have a massive sense of relief that I pulled out of my unhealthy habits before menopause fucked up my chances to get myself on track.

[–]jet199 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

The stats don't lie.

Most women will find some men attractive.

But to say it's on anything like the same level as men finding women attractive is clearly nonsense.

Edit, oh you think I'm a man. Well now you look like an idiot.

So how do you explain all these girls declaring they are asexual or demisexual then and the OK cupid stats?

Stick to the topic.

[–]QueenBread 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Excuse me, what?

[–]LyingSpirit472 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

...why you gotta be oppressive? As an asexual nymphomaniac, you're oppressing our place on the spectrum!