While your friends were certainly in the wrong to treat you in a homophobic manner, there is something to be said and a discussion to be had about how things have shifted not only in punk, but in a lot of left wing communities in general since about 2015 or so, in regards to this particular issue.

Shortly before this time, there were several high profile people who came out as trans in punk, most notably Against Me’s Laura Jane Grace. This echoed the transitions of more mainstream figures like Caitlyn Jenner and coincided with an intensified political landscape in the wake of things like Donald Trump’s political candidacy and Black Lives Matter. A lot of people, especially white people who had previously identified as men, began coming out as transwomen or non-binary.

I am old enough to have lived through when things turned on gay and lesbian issues in the mainstream, and there were a few more people who came out in punk than normal around that time, including a few who you wouldn’t have expected, but it was nothing like when trans issues became mainstreamed. It was a sudden flood over a very short period of time. Naturally, at the time I was very accepting and supportive, but then a couple things changed.

The first was a viciousness that developed among people who had transitioned towards anyone and anything perceived as straight, white, cisgender or male, including their closest friends. This was especially strange considering not only how recently so many of them had identified as male without the slightest hint of gender dysphoria or even gender nonconformity, but also how little of an effort these people made to express themselves as anything but male outside of changing their pronouns, let alone go through with any kind of medical treatment.

The second part, which is harder to talk about and doesn’t sit well with a lot of people, is how just about every AMAB person I know who came out as trans or non-binary around this time later turned out to be a sexual abuser of some kind, and those that didn’t virulently defended and excused those that did. There would rarely if ever be any kind of social media call out posts about these abusers, but you would hear about it from the victims themselves and otherwise through the grapevine. A lot of the targets of this abuse were underage cisgender women or AFAB people, which is unfortunately reflective of a long and sordid history both in punk and rock in general. This just seems to be the latest iteration of it. As for transmen and AFAB non-binary people in general, they rarely seemed to be predators themselves, but you would get defense of those predators and the dehumanizing viciousness I mentioned earlier.

All of this eventually cause me to leave the scene, which a lot of you who have read this far are probably happy about, and question a lot about my previous stances on transgender issues. I get it, I’m not punk and you’re telling everyone, but leaving punk and re-evaluating some of my views has done wonders for my mental health and well being.

Looking back on my time deeply involved in punk, I love the music, the overall message, and what DIY culture has accomplished and it’s had a very positive impact on my life overall, but there are some deeply serious issues which people in punk are unwilling or unable to address for whatever reason, and it reached a point a few years ago where the bad started to outweigh the good.