the trans production line

submitted by Aerozine from i.imgur.com

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[–][deleted]  (11 children)

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    [–]Datachost 13 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 4 fun -  (9 children)

    It's not necessarily an either/or either. You can still be polite and honest. If someone's been working on losing weight for a few months and asks you if they look fat in an outfit you're hardly going to say "Hell yes, you look fat in it, you tub of lard looking motherfucker". But the opposite end of that spectrum isn't good either, no matter how much you dress it up as kindness, saying "Nooo, you look gorgeous. The guys will be falling over you" isn't kind. That's just setting up false expectations.

    And back in the day that's how it used to be, before people started transitioning and at almost every subsequent step doctors and clinicians would make it clear that it would likely greatly reduce their dating pool. That was the kindest thing to do, telling them the consequences in a polite and professional way. Lying to them isn't kind, saying "Of course you pass, you'll be beating the lesbians off with a stick" isn't kind. And I don't think it comes from a place of kindness either, I think for a lot of people going along with this it's self preservation, hoping that since they're the ones building up these people's confidence, that they'll be safe from being the target of their attraction.

    [–]Haylstorm 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I mean in this case the partner seems to have gone female = bitchy and fallen deep into that particular rabbit hole. I'm not saying it'd help with everything but letting that behaviour go just means it escalates. The humouring is a symptom of that imo. You're not just humouring looks but everything. Not to mention it clearly skews how they think women act and what's acceptable.

    Not saying people need to be super rude about it but like "why're you acting like a bitch? That's not how women act, it's not you" would probably be more beneficial. If they think that's what being a woman is about then they have a very skewed idea and honestly shouldn't be transitioning.

    [–]ClassroomPast6178 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

    It does neatly give an example why groups like Stonewall want to eliminate the spousal veto provision of the law on gender recognition and why it needs to be absolutely protected.

    Although I suppose with the new no fault divorce rules, transition could be doubly expensive for married AGPs, and that might make some of them rethink.

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

    What is the "spousal veto?" This is in the law somewhere?

    [–]ClassroomPast6178 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    Under current UK law if you’re married and apply for a gender recognition certificate (to change gender) your spouse has to consent in order for the marriage/civil partnership to continue. If the partner doesn’t consent you don’t get your full certificate until you resolve the issue (i.e. divorce).

    I’ve never really understood the reason for opposing the spousal veto, as it always seemed weird to me that someone would want to force their, let’s be honest, wife, to continue their marriage with a “woman” against their will, especially as divorce law as it stood at the time made it difficult to unilaterally end a marriage (the waiting period is >5years), so the wife could actually be trapped in a marriage to a “woman” for 5 years.

    [–]jet199 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    Because these guys actively want to trap someone in a marriage to them.

    That's one of the reasons so many transition just after they get their partner pregnant.

    [–]jacques1102 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    This is another reason why i do not understand how Bruce Jenner was brave for coming out.Dude,you have kids that have always looked and referred to you as their father,and now you decide to completely change into the opposite sex and be referred to as someone else.Like i'd feel like my father died and was replaced by someone else if that happened to me.

    [–]jet199 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    I mean they caught him wanking off in the kid's underwear before that so I'm assuming he groomed them to accept it for a long time before he went public.

    Which turned out so well for their mental health.

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Oof, wow. UK divorce law is a lot different from any US state's divorce law.

    Seems like you all are ahead of us on gender issues (in a good way).

    [–]Haylstorm 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I just think it's a lot healthier to be called out so that you can correct behaviour. Like at the very start when the judgement started you need to have a real conversation with them about it. Not brush it off but see why they think that. I wouldn't want a partner that's acting like that. Most people wouldn't.