Coming out as delusional to my mom

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[–]SMCAB 6 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 6 fun -  (6 children)

So, not really off topic but maybe a bit.

If my son comes home and tells me he's a cat, and I instantly start feeding it fancy feast once a day, make it shit and piss in a sandbox, and make it lick milk from a saucer on the floor, make it lick itself to be clean, and shoo it away from me 95 percent of time and tell it to fuck off, wouldn't that be the right thing to do? You know, like be about it you little pussy, am I right?

[–]PenseePansy 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

And if he gets stroppy with you about it... have him neutered.

Plus NO GETTING UP ON THE FURNITURE. No! No! BAD boy. [squirts him in the face with water bottle]

[–]Newzok 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Genius. Interesting to see if it would work. Why not do species-appropriate things? You're a wolf? OK, here's some raw meat. There's some rodents outside to catch.

[–]SMCAB 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly. I was talking about this with a friend today and we came up with all sorts of shit for different little furry fuckers.

My guess is they'd figure out real quick, they are just ill, and the game is no longer fun.

[–]RedditExPat69 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

hell yes. go big or go home. Bring me a dead mouse if you want back inside, kiddo.

[–]SMCAB 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Who would have thought, in 2022, the parenting manual would have a chapter on what to do if your kid identifies as a table leg?

[–]hfxB0oyADon't piss on my head & tell me it's raining. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Based.