Q: I just signed a lease with my boyfriend, and I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I am panicking. I am filled with anxiety and dread. I put the decision off as long as I could, and I thought that the act of signing the lease would make me feel better, but I am still freaking out.
I don’t know if I love him. I don’t know if this relationship is really going to last, or if I want it to. It’s my first long-term relationship (we’ve been dating for two years), and when I express my doubts to my boyfriend he tells me it’s all a normal part of being in a long-term relationship. He says no one ever really knows if they’re in love, and no one ever really knows if a relationship is going to last and that nerves and doubt are all normal. He thinks I’m afraid of commitment.
Am I just afraid of commitment? Or am I in the wrong relationship? How are you ever supposed to know the difference?
As a former (still-kind-of-recovering) commitment-phobe myself, I can’t tell you how much I empathize with this question. It’s hard for anyone to decipher what The Line is in a relationship, the point at which staying with a person tips into the not-worth-it territory.
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