TIL There is an inverse correlation between the amount of money spent on a wedding, and how long the marriage lasts. The more people spend on the ceremony, the more likely the couple will get divorced.

submitted by theFriendlyDoomer from insider.com

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[–]Canbot 19 insightful - 4 fun19 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

And that is on having a materialistic wife. If she wants a huge wedding, which really is just for her, at the cost of your families financial future that isn't an attitude that is going to change after the wedding. Don't get me wrong, if I were rich I would want to have a wedding that was a vacation and party for all the guests; but only if I would still be left rich enough to never have to work. Every dollar spent now is worth 20 by the time you retire.

At the same time being poor makes divorce far more difficult. If you don't control for people who stay together out of poverty then the "study" is seriously compromised.

[–]philosopher 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Yep, and the article mentions materialistic personality aspects that affect men too: the more that looks mattered to the people getting married, the more likely they were to divorce.

[–]magnora7 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

And not to mention the people who literally work themselves to their grave to buy things they never really wanted in the first place. Severe materialist desire is a disease.

[–]Canbot 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Definitely. Looks fade. If that is all that interested you then you will always be envious of the next pretty thing. So as soon as a pretty thing comes along that you can have it's pretty much over. The thing is, all men want the prettiest girl they can get so even a guy who marries a 5 can still be vain but incapable of getting what he wants, so he settles. While a guy who marries a 10 may have gotten lucky and found one who is also kind and smart and hard working. It's the guys who stay with abusive girls who are the ones only interested in looks. And you can't say it's all his fault that the marriage fell apart if the girl was a bitch because she was hot enough to get away with it her whole life. But that perfect 10 girl who has it all may find out that she can do better.

This is all some pretty muddy water. Maybe there are just too many ways to interpret the date for it to be useful.

[–]wicklesnarf 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

being poor makes divorce far more difficult

This is the first thing I thought of when I saw the title. Divorce can be expensive and being divorced is expensive--My parents were poor and having two separate rent payments after their divorce was really tough and affected spending everywhere else (like groceries). Especially if you have a lack of job security, it's scary and sometimes unrealistic to be out there on your own. Staying married can be a practical decision for either/both people.

Money buys you a lot of freedom, and choices. People shouldn't blindly romanticize couples who've had modest weddings when so many aren't a choice but because that's all they can afford. There are lots and lots of loveless or even toxic marriages that aren't any more a "successful" marriage than one that ends in divorce.

[–]rman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This 100% - I came in here happy to see “stay together out of poverty” as the first comment — also I wonder if they account for who (parents, couple) pays for the wedding and if that makes much of a difference

[–]xigoi 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Who would've guessed that love matters more than money in a marriage…

[–]theFriendlyDoomer[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Fair enough, but clearly a lot of people fall for the scam.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Huh, anecdotally I knew this to be true. Interesting to see statistics to back it up.

My wife and I made it official in front of a justice of the peace, and we've been together for a very long time now. All of my friends that had lavish ceremonies both before and after I tied the knot have been divorced and on to the next, not a single one of them are still with their original spouse. All of them were "fair-weather" relationships. Modern life is unpredictable; you could be on top of the world today, but unemployed, facing bogus legal challenges, or god knows what else in a short time. Consider where you'd be next year this time if the dollar collapsed and wiped out all of your wealth. Would your relationship survive?

If you are willing to die or kill for someone you've found your match, if you're not - stop wasting time in whatever relationship you're in and keep looking. Life is too short to fuck around.

[–]theFriendlyDoomer[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Yeah, I my parents had a very small wedding and my grandparents on my dad's side married in front of a justice of the peace. I too was drawn to seeing it statistically demonstrated.

Consider where you'd be next year this time if the dollar collapsed

A very real possibility, I think. Some of depends on if we can hold on as the world's reserve currency. Certainly we're in real jeopardy in our lifetimes.

and wiped out all of your wealth.

Gotta have some of that wealth in a deep pantry, silver, and ammo. Still be a bad situation, but at least not everything is wiped out.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

A very real possibility, I think. Some of depends on if we can hold on as the world's reserve currency. Certainly we're in real jeopardy in our lifetimes.

Yeah, it's been easy to see it coming. The only thing working against the dissolution of the dollar is the fact that most other central banks are monetizing debt almost as fast as the US.

Gotta have some of that wealth in a deep pantry, silver, and ammo. Still be a bad situation, but at least not everything is wiped out.

Agreed. A deep pantry and precious metals (Lead --> Silver --> Gold) are key hedges against system instability.

[–]theFriendlyDoomer[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

China's real estate bubble is another point in our favor. But that's only delaying a reckoning. . . one which win, lose, or draw I am not looking forward to.

[–]beermeem 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

OMG peak oil is going to kill us all!

[–]theFriendlyDoomer[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Not what we were talking about, but . . . okay.

[–]beermeem 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

...okay.

[–]theFriendlyDoomer[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

OMG. LOL!

[–]NYPariah 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I guess a marriage at the Justice of the Peace that was originally going to cost us $40 for filing fees that was not only waived by the presiding judge, but we both kinda noticed that he wouldn't stop checking out her tits. We looked at each other and smirked, we were thinking the same thing. He was a little pervy, but at the end, when it was time to pay, he said he didn't want anything. He mentioned we couldn't stop smiling at how in love we were with each other. And yeah, it still makes us chuckle to this day. :)

[–]jet199 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

I think part of this is that middle class people often use their and their kids' marriages as a big advert and corporate event for their business. As the couple themselves are often also together for strategic reasons or have had to choose from a very small pool of people those marriages rarely last.

[–]Current_Year_Acct 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

What?

[–]beermeem 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

People who are in professions or social circles where appearances matter — spouse, 2.5 kids, dog, picket fence, late model SUV’s, soccer practice, piano recitals — will sacrifice a lot more to maintain those appearances than people who are Instagram millionaires.

Colloquially, I’d certainly agree this is true.

[–]Themagicalmidget 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've always held this superstition. Now I have evidence to prove it.

[–]Tom_Bombadil 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Princess... I'm sure that I don't have to remind you that your fiance and I don't exactly get along.

Regardless, you're my precious baby girl, and your mother and I shall spare no expense on your wedding.

[–]Trajan 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The full article is interesting. Looking at the published work, this commentary in the results section caught my eye:

In the sample of all persons, greater differences in age and education between husband and wife and reporting that one’s partner’s looks were important in the decision to marry are both significantly associated with a relatively higher hazard of divorce. On the other hand, high household income, regularly attending religious services, having a child with one’s partner, relatively high wedding attendance, and going on a honeymoon are all significantly associated with a lower hazard of divorce'.

i.e. don't be superficial, don't find a young trophy wife, and find somebody near your age who has a similar level of education to yourself. The relatively high wedding attendance and regular churchgoing could indicate strong social support systems, and that's definitely important. Couples that are too insular have only themselves to rely on.

Incidentally, it's to the credit of the writer that they linked to the study. I've seen too many 'journalists' writing such articles, butchering the conclusions, leaving the reader having to go hunting for the journal article in question.

[–]Shitskinned_Faggot 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I've never understood why people who love each other actually need a marriage, or at least any kind of lavish one with guests.

[–]Tums_is_Smut_bkwrds 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Marriage = commitment. It's an important component in lasting relationships, generally speaking. There are exceptions, of course, but they are outliers.

[–]Shitskinned_Faggot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No marriage = social statement and bling bling. Get with the times.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah richer people are more superficial. There was probably never true love in between them.