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[–]magnora7 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I definitely agree with you on the education bit. Education these days is far more about rote memorization than wisdom. But maybe that's all it ever was.

The problem for the younger generation is when those "stumbling blocks" you mention become such onerous disasters that they crush the people and sweep them under if a misstep is made. That's what leads to the parlaying fear that causes the appearance of meekness that millennials are often chastised for. And simultaneously all their schooling and upbringing has taught them to solve problems through approved channels rather than trying to solve it themselves. So they've been highly incentivized that way more than any other generation.

[–]HeyImSancho[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

And simultaneously all their schooling and upbringing has taught them to solve problems through approved channels rather than trying to solve it themselves. So they've been highly incentivized that way more than any other generation.

So, let me share an anecdote, as well as ask how you think it should be handled. Recently, I was out of town visiting family. I attended a younger child's peewee league game while there. It was very interesting to me, as only 2 out of the 20+ kids had actual uniforms beyond the simple team jerseys(of note, the 2 fully dressed, and prepared children were the best players; one on each team.). At the end of the game, I learned 'everyone was a winner'.

Each child from the 2 distinct teams, walked around proclaiming they won; while the parents cheered them all. it actually worked out fairly harmless, but at the same time, there were probably 4 to 6 kids that you could tell 'got the oddity' in everyone winning.

On the way home from the game, My niece, rode with my sister and I; she's in her early to mid 20's, and has a degree in 'bible', and is a paid minister at a church. She's got a cute personality, and is intelligent.

While driving, I was talking with my sister who was in the back seat; I was quizzing her about peewee little league when we were children. I never played, but did watch, and of course over the years attend such games. We both agreed that when we were younger, so from the late 60' till the mid 90's, peewee used to, at least in our area, have real team winners. There was no false pretense that 'everyone wins', but instead the long road to life lessons; where by you must learn to proverbially 'pick yourself up by your bootstraps, and keep going when life throws obstacles in your way'.

We also conversed about the 2 boys that were dressed properly. Trying to comprehend why all the children weren't dressed to their fullest, I asked about 'economic disparity'.... My sister, "Nope, all come from middle class working families; they just don't have the gusto". I knew she was correct, as my great nephew, hated wearing his full gear(1 of the 2), and due to this, it makes sense as to why the parents didn't try with theirs.

My sister, and I agreed that the kids would be further ahead in life(talking into adulthood, and from there), if they were taught the skills of presentation, and learn that there can be wins, and losses along the way.

I continued this open, but directed conversation with my sister. My niece? Holy hell, Damien came in the car I guess. She became very upset, and said that we were idiots, in simply having our opinions. She literally asked(more so statement), "Why can't everyone win, and it's hot too(in regards to uniforms)." I thought, "OMG", her reaction was really over the top, and I tried to explain our reasoning, and explain that we were noting a cultural trend, and how it was different one day, and age, to the next.

While actually trying to calm her down, I thought to myself, 'holy hell, this is ridiculous, when I'm forced to explain myself to a younger person because they butted into our conversation to tell us we were both stupid, mean, and idiotic. The irony from so many angles was over the top. Her very visual dismay, contrasted my calm retort trying to defuse a situation I didn't realize was caused.

At some point, she blurted out, 'I'm an adult!'. At which point again, I was like, "OMFG, ARG, Damn", as I was truly caught off guard by such a comment; where did it even come from? I mean in fact, she's a grown woman, has a job that pays for her room, and board, that's an adult, but an adult that just told me they're 'an adult', because they couldn't comprehend that we literally can recall, and see a difference in how society is literally formulated, created, and why they do what they do.

To really top this off, and one that I really left alone, was the fact that her very behavior, is what I saw being fomented on the peewee league playing field that day; the day 'everyone wins!'. My sister actually told me later, that her daughter was in the generation where 'everyone won', and that's what the parenting books she read, said to do. I asked her in return, 'but you remember different, and she said, 'yes, but i thought it was wrong because the books'!

So Mag, if you've read this far, and I've even come a little close to relaying this story as the way I experienced it, how do you handle this? How do you even handle that you're having to give an explanation, that for the most part, before this current generation was never asked, or expected to be answered. I mean in all honesty, that was another angle of the irony I saw, I'm only in my early 40's, but I'd never a.) butt into another adult conversation, and I'd surely not blurt out they're idiots because I erroneously self identify with a group because everyone else tells me too, and b.) I'd never have blurted out, "I'm an adult".... My upbringing is what taught me this, no other skill; yet to mention to a younger person these things, get's you labeled as 'mean man', or other labels that don't even accurately apply. How do you tell a generation, who thinks they're the toughest by ways of establishment grooming, but by way of the 'real world', or more appropriately, "The School of Hard Knocks", have by a long way to go?

[–]magnora7 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Wow thanks for the story.

I think the best way to let them learn from the School of Hard Knocks is to let the world knock them around a bit. What I mean is that this sounds like a personality still developing in a lot of ways. But I also would never have interjected in to an adult conversation as a teen and told them they were stupid. My parents raised me where if I had done such a thing it would've put me a WHOLE LOT of trouble (like months of grounding, potential military school, etc). Anyway I'm not sure the exact ages of the people involved.

I think from your perspective you just have to pick your battles, and this baseball issue probably just isn't worth it. But I definitely understand the frustration and the larger point of the principle of the thing. The reality of it though is you can bring a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. I think just give advice where you can and move on, there's no reason casting pearls before swine. And there's also no reason to waste your emotional energy on someone's knee-jerk opinion!

I get mad about stuff like this too, but often it's not so much the thing itself, as it is what the thing says about general society and the direction we're heading. I am mad at that, sometimes.

But in a way this Earth is like a 7-billion-person Ouiji Board. The direction it moves is pretty random and out of our control, in a lot of ways.

And what would serve you and yours best in the short and long run? Would winning the discussion actually change the direction things are moving in? Is the inner peace you're giving up by ignoring the issue worth that potential gain of changing the course of humanity ever so slightly? Does the division created between yourself and your family about this issue actually help or hurt the overall peace and tranquility of your immediate community?

I don't know the answers to these in your exact situation, but I think these questions are a good place to start.

I've heard we have 20 fucks a day to give about stuff. Spend them wisely!