Being a young man full of spunk and vigor is a living paradox.

A woman doesn't want a desperate insecure horn-dog as much as you may be one despite yourself. You can want love and/or sex like nothing else, but you can't show it. And if you fake it, she'll know. So how can you authentically be confident, controlled, and not desperate? That's the million dollar question.

My advice: Be more. Have interests beyond getting laid. Desires are natural, so if it comes up don't deny that you want it - but maintain patience and control. It may not seem like it but there's more to life than sex, so be more interesting, share ideas, and find and nourish your common interests and win her with your deeds and thoughts. Some girls like quiet stoic types but I found open communication was better received and appreciated. At least, that's what I heard on many occasions.

Also, listen as much as you can. Sometimes she want's you to fix things and sometimes she just needs to vent and have it received. Being present is important. Life is more about the journey than the destination.

When it comes to sex, be prepared. Get your own condoms that fit and won't break. And equally important, have lube. Some women have allergies to some lubes. Some lubes get sticky quickly and can be worse than none. You will both benefit greatly from good proper lube. If she has a better time she'll be up for it more often and lube will also help her last longer and not wear out if you two happen to have endurance and/or share a big appetite.

Everyone is different. It's important to ask what she wants and likes. Be open, be positive, and refrain from expressing any judgement. If any slip out or she takes anything poorly always try to admit your poor communications and do your best to fix it. Even if you fail the effort counts. The more comfortable with you she gets the more open she'll be, both figuratively and literally.

In my experience gentle patience is key. It may seem like it's taking an eternity, but she needs it, and you need it in order for her to need you.

While there were lots of exceptions in a variety of situations, but I wouldn't have had those without my default mode: Gentle patience. I play a mind game in my head: How soft and gentle and slow could I be with her? It's better to tease her and make her want it than to rush it and make her regret it. You'll soon learn how much or little she wants of this, and it may vary a lot or be predictable. Some don't even need warm up. Some take forever. Every woman is different. Never be afraid to ask what she wants. In fact, the more you ask the more likely you are to both reach your goals.

Another key, tied with gentle patience, is your effort to please her. Not all girls will orgasm, especially the first time. Some may many times. Do everything in your ability to please her the best you can. You're likely gonna get off regardless, however by pleasing her you'll build a better relationship and you're going to foster a more frequent repeat offender. She may be such a happy customer that she may even want it more than you.

As far as growing up in the modern smut age with everyone addicted to their devices, I don't have any good advice for that.

Maybe all of this is self evident. Maybe you picked up a thing or two. I hope it wasn't a waste of your time. And I hope you find the fulfillment you seek.