One time I went straight to a bar after work. It was just me and the bartender. Then an attractive white woman walked in. I spoke to her briefly but mostly just left her alone. Frankly, I was holding out for a less attractive, more drunk chick.

Then this sketchy black dude showed up and started trying to buy drinks with change and hit on the white chick. After a few minutes, he went to the bathroom. I went up to the chick as was like, "you wanna get out of here?" and she was down. And that's the story of how I got laid with a stoner chick who owned a pool-cleaning business. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.