Cataclysmic Calamity Cake
2 cups chaos, finely ground
1 cup mayhem, sifted
1/2 cup pandemonium, packed
3 large eggs, scrambled
1/4 cup meltdown, melted
1/2 cup bedlam, cubed
1/4 cup confusion, grated
1 tablespoon catastrophe, crumbled
1 teaspoon misfortune, powdered
1/2 teaspoon calamity, crushed
A pinch of havoc, to taste
1 cup fiasco, softened
2 cups turmoil, whipped
1/2 cup debacle, congealed
Sprinkles of doom
Preheat your oven to 350°F (180°C). Grease and flour two 9-inch round cake pans, then line them with parchment paper. Make sure to do this haphazardly.
In a large bowl, combine the chaos, mayhem, and pandemonium. Mix until you're unsure if you're doing it right.
In a separate bowl, crack the eggs one by one, making sure to leave shell fragments behind. Add the scrambled eggs, melted meltdown, and cubed bedlam to the dry ingredients. Stir with reckless abandon.
Add the grated confusion, crumbled catastrophe, powdered misfortune, and crushed calamity to the batter. Mix until lumpy and uneven.
Divide the batter evenly between the two prepared cake pans, or spill it all over the counter – it's a disaster cake, after all.
Bake the cakes for 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out smeared with catastrophe. Remove the cakes from the oven and let them cool in the pans for 10 minutes, then transfer them to a wire rack to cool completely.
While the cakes are cooling, prepare the frosting by combining the softened fiasco, whipped turmoil, and congealed debacle in a large bowl. Mix until it reaches an unpredictable consistency.
Once the cakes have cooled, place one layer on a serving plate and spread a generous amount of frosting on top. Place the second layer on top of the first and cover the entire cake with the remaining frosting. Be as messy as possible.
Decorate the cake with sprinkles of doom, catastrophic cherries, and apocalyptic almonds, or any other disastrous toppings you can think of.
Serve the Cataclysmic Calamity Cake at your own risk and enjoy the chaos! Remember, it's all in good fun.
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