The inner psychological torment I face even in my waking moment. To wake up and feel alone and hopeless.

There is a physical pain that I feel in my chest often, it can be very strong. I assume it's from stress, yet part of me feels that it is my very soul burning from the core.

To go out and try to enjoy myself, only to be reminded of what I cannot control from the sight of couples. Like an indoor cat looking outside the window, envious of the freedom of being outside. Deprived of its natural instincts. Depressed.

I do not doubt it in the slightest anymore. I am a human being. I am not a second-class citizen in my book, nobody is.

I to this day cannot comprehend the things that I have witnessed. Although I am no soldier, nor fireman, nor paramedic, I am incel. I have seen a different terror, one that is not often described.

Many of these I do not wish to reflect on. As it is painful to remember. I hope you understand.

My only wish in life is to be cured of my status as incel. From there I would create new memories to reflect on. Memories worth reflection.

Being alone is my waking reality. And I know that it is my fate. I have already noted my grievances. To put to rest a soul that dealt so much hope for life, only to succumb to his condition. This is my inevitable destiny.

My only fear of death is going to heaven, as I would not know how to handle peace. For I do not know the true taste of it.

My only wish for the world is for it to finally unify as a global whole and see each other as equals, rather than engage in hostility.

Perhaps then my condition and many others will be further recognized as an issue. Perhaps then the technological advances would have allowed my kind to opt for a viable cope, such as fully immersive robotic companions. Although I may never see this, I do pray for future generations of incel kind.

I would rest easily knowing that the incel can finally be free of his internal quarrel and constant hardship.

Thank you.