I need to remind myself that I'm not normal

submitted by Mazurro from (self.RealIncels)

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[–]FrothySolutions 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (12 children)

This is self destructive. You're improving socially and your instinct is to throw that away?

[–]Mazurro[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

Yes and no. I knew for long time that I am able to interact with others, for all my life when I was going to say something, others were listening to me. It ust wasn't easy to start talking, I didn't see a reason in doing so or I was trying to fix it myself. When I started doing so, I can just ask someone questions to get informations faster.

But the problem is, it is social improvement, but it's not helping me make friends or partner, because I am ugly. It just shows me, that there isn't something inherently wrong with me as a person and that it's just my subhuman body which disables me from life. I know it, but every time I am remembered in such manner, it just makes me feel pain.

[–]FrothySolutions 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (10 children)

That's self destructive thinking. How do you know you aren't making friends? What do you think "friendship" is?

[–]Mazurro[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Being included into anything outside of university? Being someone with whom others intiate talks, rather then only me doing that?

I don't know what friendship is honestly.

[–]FrothySolutions 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

That's a thing a lot of incels want. To not have to initiate. Because other people don't have to initiate. If I told you "Eventually you'll grow close enough to these people that you can ask to take your relationship to the next level" you might respond "That sounds pretty hard, social skills-wise. For someone who has never done this to have to do all the social heavy lifting? Frankly if they REALLY liked me they would approach ME. I don't care if maybe I can create friendships if I initiate. I want the life of someone who doesn't have to initiate. I don't wanna throw the party, I want them to invite me to the party."

I'm not sure how to become one of those people that doesn't have to initiate. But I definitely believe that, in time, your relationships will grow if you continue to foster bonds with these people. That is if you actually wanna be friends with those people. Maybe they don't do much outside of university and are as boring as we are.

[–]Mazurro[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I don't even understand what you just said. I initiated and did all the steps you mentioned before I even considered the "I don't want to iniciate, i want others to do it." I did all of that and I am certain, that it won't put me in any further step because of my subhumanity.

[–]FrothySolutions 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

You said you wanted others to initiate the talks, instead of just you?

[–]Mazurro[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Of course I want that, but not INSTEAD.

[–]FrothySolutions 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Wait, what do you mean by "but not instead?"

[–]Mazurro[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm all aware I need to initiate contact in order to have it, however - when I am doing that and ONLY me, it means other aren't interested. So yes, at the end I also want others to do that.