You are not evil, you have morals. Toilets do not have morals and reward anyone who is good looking or is evil, or both.

I can't tell you what or not what to do, But I suggest trying to do any of your life goals that you may have had in your childhood or in your dreams that don't revolve around toilets, except for something attainable like visiting an escort. I have always wanted to travel to mogger-land Europe, south america and a few other places as well as escort-max. The world is a beautiful place, though sadly its inhabited by cruel and sadistic people, and becomes darker when you have no one else to experience it with you. Maybe this sounds a bit preachy, but this is whats keeping me going I guess. But the thing is you have to accept that the pain in your heart you feel from being undesirable, that sick fucking feeling you will defiantly know what I am talking about, always linger. Do what makes you happy to keep that feeling ignored.