I want my own home so I can jerk off whenever I want

submitted by OPStolen from (self.RealIncels)

Im in a dorm and the walls are PAPER thin. I bought a $20 pocket ass on Amazon and it's squeaky as fuck because the plastic is cheap. When I get into it, it's incredibly loud. I miss when it was summer and I was alone. I could literally get up at 4am, jerk off, jerk off after breakfast, jerk off for lunch, jerk off in the dead of night. And I could wash out my pocket ass without caring. I could walk to the shower naked instead of having to put my lube covered hands on fresh clothes just so my roommates dont peek around the corner and see me walking to the shower covered in lube and sweat.

I hate not living alone. I might go noinhib tonight and just fuck my pocket ass as loud and aggressively as i want.

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[–]Musky 3 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

My grandmother always said, "Life is better if you don't jerk off obsessively."

[–]David_Allen_Cope1 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I'm guessing granny musk didn't have to jump through the same hoops just to get a piece of ass though. Ah, pre tinder society.

[–]Musky 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Last time I hopped on Tindr, looking for weed, my phone started beeping at me non-stop. Wifie made me delete it, and she was a lot nicer to me after that.

I am told we look like each other.

[–]LarrySwinger2 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Imagine posting something like this unironically. This is what 2 million years of evolution have culminated in.

[–]Airbus320 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Kekw

[–]sneako 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

schcoolceling is for cucks

[–]St_FarCry3cel 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Having your own place to be as much of a coomer and a degenerate as you like truly is a small blessing. All I can say is get yourself a part-time so you can at least pay for a room nearby and go to town on that plastic piece of ass.