South Park's creators refuse to get involved in the 2024 US Presidental Election. So I asked ChatGPT to write a six-episode season of South Park for us. Here's what it came up with.

submitted by Mcheetah from self.Random_Shit

Here's a six-episode arc for a South Park 2024 season satirizing the presidential election, with Randy Marsh and the rest of the Marsh family playing key roles.

Episode 1: "Mayor Marsh"

Plot: Randy Marsh decides to run for mayor of South Park, claiming that "South Park is going downhill" and only he can save it. He starts imitating Donald Trump's mannerisms, delivering outlandish speeches about "making South Park great again."

Satire: Randy's campaign is a clear parody of Trump’s 2024 campaign. He thrives on chaos, making absurd promises to "clean up" South Park, much to the dismay of his family, especially Sharon.

Sharon's Role: Sharon Marsh grows increasingly frustrated with Randy's antics. She begins to parody Kamala Harris, giving earnest, but cringe-worthy motivational speeches that fall flat. She tries to be the moral compass but ends up making things worse with her tone-deaf, out-of-touch responses.

Episode 2: "Mayor McDaniels Loses It"

Plot: Current Mayor McDaniels, a stand-in for Joe Biden, has become completely senile. She starts making bizarre speeches and hallucinating. Her aides scramble to cover for her, but South Park descends into chaos as no one knows what she’s saying.

Satire: This episode mocks the criticism surrounding Biden’s cognitive health. The satire is over the top, portraying McDaniels as so far gone that she thinks she's living in a completely different decade. Her aides, like the Democrats handling Biden, keep insisting she's fine.

Randy’s Gain: Randy capitalizes on McDaniels’ incompetence, portraying himself as the "only person who can bring sanity back to South Park."

Episode 3: "Randy’s Wall"

Plot: Randy promises to "build a wall" around South Park to keep out neighboring towns and protect its "values." The townspeople are split, with some supporting Randy's increasingly Trump-like rhetoric and others opposing it.

Subplot: In Springfield, USA, home to The Simpsons, pets are mysteriously disappearing, and it’s revealed that a group of Haitian immigrants has been eating them due to economic hardships. Cartman and Butters decide to investigate.

Satire: Randy's wall is a clear nod to Trump’s border wall, and the Springfield subplot pokes fun at the media's tendency to sensationalize stories and the public's often exaggerated responses to local crises.

Episode 4: "Sharon's Debate"

Plot: Sharon, channeling Kamala Harris, challenges Randy in a mayoral debate. Her speeches are filled with awkward laughter and attempts to appear relatable, but she keeps losing ground as Randy’s chaotic energy wins over the crowd. She even tries, and fails, to appeal to female voters with cringe-inducing pandering.

Satire: Sharon’s struggle to balance being a "serious" candidate while also playing the identity politics card is a clear send-up of Harris' challenges in the 2024 race. Meanwhile, Randy revels in the absurdity of the election process.

Subplot: Cartman and Butters attempt to "save" Springfield from the Haitians in a misguided mission, but Bart and Lisa Simpson believe these are just misguided rumors and don't need Cartman and Butters "help." Cartman and Butters' plans get more ridiculous as they try to outdo one another, escalating into a war between Springfield and South Park.

Episode 5: "Randy’s Rallies"

**Plot: Randy holds massive rallies where his speeches grow more and more popular. He promises free weed for everyone and claims that all of South Park’s problems are due to "outsiders." Sharon tries to fight back with seemingly logical policies, but she gets booed off the stage. Sharon's campaign workers decide it's time to fight back with a secret contingency plan they were saving for the last minute, that won't be revealed until the next episode.

Satire: Randy’s rallies are a parody of Trump’s campaign rallies. The episode takes a jab at the spectacle of modern political rallies and the cult of personality surrounding some politicians.

Springfield War: The town of Springfield, enraged by the "pet eating rumors" started by Cartman and Butters, declares a "war" on South Park. The conflict over Haitian immigrants and disappearing pets becomes a ridiculous metaphor for border tensions and xenophobia.

Episode 6: "Election Day"

Plot: It's Election Day, and the town is more divided than ever. Sharon reveals her secret about Randy Marsh: That he had drunk sex with an adult film star before they were married and paid her off to keep silent about it. This gets Randy arrested, but does little to deter voters however. Randy gives a ridiculous speech from his jail cell, and by the end of the night, wins in a landslide thanks to his bombastic style and absurd promises, while Sharon is left shaking her head. Mayor McDaniels, in a final act of senility, casts a vote for herself and gets confused when she doesn’t win.

Satire: This finale pokes fun at the idea of electing politicians based on charisma rather than substance. Randy’s victory mirrors Trump’s rise, while Sharon’s loss parodies the struggles of establishment candidates like Harris.

Final Subplot: The Springfield-South Park war ends when Randy, as the new mayor, declares that "everyone gets a free pet," forcing the Haitians to breed replacement pets for Springfield. The bizarre conflict ends with a ridiculous resolution, highlighting how easily modern crises can be blown out of proportion.

This arc combines South Park's irreverent humor with the chaos of the 2024 election, mocking the extremes of both major political candidates and wrapping it up in the town's signature absurdity.

South Park Episode One Script: "Mayor Marsh"

(Episode 1 of 6: Randy Marsh parodies Donald Trump while running for Mayor of South Park in a chaotic election cycle)

OPENING SCENE
(INT. Marsh Family Living Room - Day)
(Randy Marsh is watching the news on TV. News anchors are discussing the decline of South Park and the local mayoral race. Randy looks angry and frustrated. Stan is on his phone while Sharon does the dishes in the background.)

NEWS ANCHOR
(voice-over)
"Local residents are growing increasingly frustrated with Mayor McDaniels' failure to address key issues in South Park, leading many to call for new leadership in the upcoming election."

RANDY
(irritated, muttering)
"New leadership, huh? Maybe they need someone who actually knows what's going on around here..."

SHARON
(calling from the kitchen)
"Randy, don't even think about it."

RANDY
(ignoring her)
"This town’s going downhill fast, Sharon. Somebody’s gotta step up and do something."

STAN
(sarcastically, without looking up from his phone)
"Yeah, dad. Maybe you should run for mayor. Fix everything with your weed business."

RANDY
(perks up)
"That's not a bad idea, Stan. Maybe I should run for mayor!"

SHARON
(stern)
"Randy, you are not running for mayor."

RANDY
(standing up, puffing his chest)
"I am totally running for mayor. And I'll win, too! People love me! I’ll make South Park great again!"

SHARON
(sighs, exasperated)
"Here we go…"

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park Town Square - Day)
(Randy stands in front of a podium, addressing a small but curious crowd. Behind him is a giant banner that says "Randy for Mayor: Make South Park Great Again!" He wears a baseball cap with the same slogan.)

RANDY
(passionate)
"Folks, let me tell you something. This town? It's a mess! Ever since I started Tegridy Farms, I’ve watched South Park fall apart. It’s like nobody cares about our way of life anymore. Well, I care! And that’s why I’m running for mayor!"

CROWD MEMBER 1
(confused)
"Wait, don't you already live outside of town?"

RANDY
(brushing it off)
"Details, details! What's important is that I have a vision. A vision to make South Park great again! More weed! Less crime! And maybe a wall. A big, beautiful wall to keep out… well, you know, outsiders!"

(Crowd murmurs approvingly. Randy is clearly channeling Trump’s bombastic rhetoric.)

CUT TO:
(INT. Marsh Kitchen - Evening)
(Randy is excitedly discussing his campaign with Sharon over dinner.)

RANDY
(enthusiastic)
"Sharon, I really think this could work. People are fired up about change!"

SHARON
(disapproving)
"Randy, you're not qualified to run a town! You barely handle running Tegridy Farms."

RANDY
(waving her off)
"Please, Sharon. I’ve handled much bigger things! Like that time I saved the internet. And the pandemic! I’m a man of the people!"

STAN
(sarcastic)
"Yeah, sure, dad. A real man of the people."

SHARON
(rolling her eyes)
"This is ridiculous, Randy. Running for mayor just to feed your ego is the last thing this town needs."

RANDY
(serious)
"Sharon, this isn’t about my ego. It’s about… Tegridy!"

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park Street - Day)
(Randy is standing on a makeshift campaign float, holding a megaphone. He’s surrounded by homemade signs that read “Vote Randy!” and “Weed for All!” Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Butters walk by.)

CARTMAN
(laughing)
"Dude, what the hell is your dad doing now?"

STAN
(deadpan)
"He’s running for mayor."

CARTMAN
(excited)
"No way! Dude, that’s awesome! Your dad as mayor would be the best!"

STAN
(sighing)
"Yeah, we’re all screwed."

KYLE
(frowning)
"Isn’t Mayor McDaniels still in charge? How does she feel about this?"

STAN
"She’s completely out of it. People say she’s been acting weird."

BUTTERS
(innocently)
"Maybe she’s just tired, fellas."

CUT TO:
(INT. Mayor McDaniels’ Office - Day)
(Mayor McDaniels is sitting at her desk, surrounded by aides, who are frantically trying to keep her on track. Her speech is slurred, and she looks completely lost in thought.)

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(confused)
"Did… did I sign the papers for the… uh, the thing? The thing with the… where’s my blanket?"

AIDE 1
(nervously)
"Mayor McDaniels, you’re supposed to be at the town hall meeting in an hour."

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(staring blankly)
"Town… what town? Is it Tuesday?"

AIDE 2
(whispering to Aide 1)
"She’s losing it. We’ve got to find a way to make her seem coherent."

AIDE 1
(sighing)
"Maybe we should start working on her retirement speech…"

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park Town Hall - Day)
(Randy holds a town hall meeting. The room is packed with confused and curious townspeople. Sharon is sitting in the back, shaking her head.)

RANDY
(exaggerated hand gestures)
"Let me tell you something, people. South Park is full of losers. I love this town, but it’s full of losers! No one gets things done anymore, and that’s why we need change. You need me to take charge and restore Tegridy!"

CROWD MEMBER 2
(yelling)
"What exactly are you gonna do, Randy?"

RANDY
(booming voice)
"I’m glad you asked! First, I’m gonna make sure we get rid of all the crime. Then, we’ll legalize more weed—because why stop now? And finally… we’ll build a big, beautiful wall around South Park! Keep out the troublemakers!"

CROWD MEMBER 3
(confused)
"Uh… who are the troublemakers?"

RANDY
(grinning)
"You know, the outsiders… the people who aren’t from here!"

CUT TO:
(INT. Marsh House - Night)
(Randy bursts into the house, excited.)

RANDY
"I’m really picking up steam, Sharon! I think I’m gonna win this thing!"

SHARON
(sarcastic)
"Congratulations, Randy. I’m sure the town will be thrilled to have you as their new… uh, ‘leader.’"

STAN
(rolling his eyes)
"Great. Just what we need."

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park City Limits - Night)
(Mysterious figures are seen sneaking into the town. The screen cuts to black with ominous music.)

END CREDITS

This first episode sets the stage for Randy’s chaotic and absurd mayoral campaign, while hinting at the larger subplot involving outsiders (eventually Springfield and the Haitian immigrant storyline). The dialogue is filled with South Park's trademark sarcasm and absurdity, with Randy fully embracing his Trump persona.

Episode 2 dives deeper into the political satire while continuing the subplot with Mayor McDaniels, parodying Joe Biden’s alleged cognitive issues.

South Park Episode Two Script: "Mayor McDaniels Loses It"

(Episode 2 of 6: Mayor McDaniels’ cognitive decline escalates as Randy gains momentum in his mayoral race)

OPENING SCENE
(INT. Mayor McDaniels’ Office - Day)
(Mayor McDaniels sits at her desk, staring blankly at a pile of paperwork. Aides are bustling around, trying to keep her on task. The mayor is visibly confused, struggling to comprehend the simplest details.)

AIDE 1
(urgently)
"Mayor McDaniels, you need to sign the budget proposal today. It’s already overdue."

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(distracted)
"Budget… proposal? Do we need money for that?"

AIDE 2
(speaking slowly, as if talking to a child)
"Yes, Mayor McDaniels. We need you to approve the budget so the town can function."

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(nodding absently)
"Right… the budget…"

(She trails off, staring at the ceiling.)

AIDE 1
(whispers to Aide 2)
"She’s getting worse. I think we need to start planning her exit."

AIDE 2
(nods)
"We need to stall Randy Marsh. If he sees how bad this is, he’ll capitalize on it."

CUT TO:
(INT. Marsh Family Living Room - Day)
(Randy is pacing back and forth, talking to Sharon and Stan. He’s excited about his mayoral race.)

RANDY
(enthusiastically)
"Sharon, the people love me. They’re eating it up. I’m telling you, I’ve got this thing in the bag."

SHARON
(skeptical)
"Randy, you’ve been running for mayor for one day. Calm down."

STAN
(rolling his eyes)
"Yeah, Dad. Didn’t you say that about your weed business? How’d that turn out?"

RANDY
(defensive)
"It’s going great, Stan! Tegridy Farms is the future of South Park! But this mayor thing? This is different. It’s about making real changes!"

SHARON
(sarcastically)
"Yeah, real changes, like building a wall around South Park to keep out… people you don’t like."

RANDY
(nods seriously)
"Exactly."

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park Town Square - Day)
(Randy holds a campaign rally, addressing a crowd that has grown since the last episode. He’s speaking into a microphone, getting worked up as the people cheer.)

RANDY
(booming voice)
"Folks, let me tell you something. Mayor McDaniels is done. She’s lost her way! She can’t even remember her own name half the time. Is that what you want running this town? Someone who doesn’t even know where she is?!"

(Crowd cheers, though some look confused. Kyle, Stan, and Cartman watch from a distance.)

KYLE
(frowning)
"Dude, this is getting out of hand. Randy’s really going after Mayor McDaniels."

STAN
(shrugging)
"Yeah, I think he actually believes he can win."

CARTMAN
(grinning)
"Your dad as mayor would be hilarious, Stan! Think about it! He’d probably turn the whole town into one big weed farm."

STAN
(sighs)
"I’m just waiting for this to blow up in his face."

CUT TO:
(INT. Mayor McDaniels’ Office - Afternoon)
(Aides are trying to prep Mayor McDaniels for a press conference. She’s staring at the window, completely unaware of what’s happening.)

AIDE 2
"Mayor, you need to address the town. There are concerns about your health, and we need to put those rumors to rest."

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(absentmindedly)
"Yes, of course… we need to… do the thing…"

AIDE 1
(frustrated)
"The press conference, Mayor!"

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(perking up, confused)
"Press conference? Wait, where am I? Is this the White House?"

AIDE 2
(panicking)
"Get her a teleprompter, now."

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park Town Hall - Afternoon)
(Mayor McDaniels walks out to give a press conference. Her aides are nervously adjusting the teleprompter and whispering to each other. She starts speaking, but her sentences don’t make sense, and she veers off-topic almost immediately.)

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(stammering)
"Uh, thank you for coming today… uh… South Park… is… is a great country… and… we have… ice cream… does anyone like ice cream?"

(The crowd, including Randy, looks confused and concerned.)

RANDY
(under his breath, smirking)
"This is too easy."

MAYOR MCDANIELS
"Now, uh, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with… the dinosaurs."

(She walks off stage, leaving everyone in stunned silence.)

CUT TO:
(INT. Marsh Living Room - Evening)
(Randy is watching the news with Sharon. They’re playing clips of Mayor McDaniels’ disastrous press conference. Randy is grinning ear to ear.)

NEWS ANCHOR
(voice-over)
"Concerns are growing about Mayor McDaniels’ ability to govern as rumors about her mental state continue to swirl following today’s press conference."

SHARON
(disapproving)
"Randy, this isn’t funny. She’s clearly not well."

RANDY
(grinning)
"Not well enough to run the town, Sharon. This is my moment!"

SHARON
(sighs)
"You’re seriously going to take advantage of this? Have some decency."

RANDY
(defensive)
"Hey, it’s not my fault she’s losing it. Someone’s got to step up! And who better than me?"

STAN
(walking in)
"Literally anyone else, Dad."

CUT TO:
(EXT. Springfield (Simpsons crossover) - Night)
(Over in Springfield, pets are disappearing. We see a family dog vanish from the backyard. Lisa Simpson is outside investigating with Bart.)

LISA SIMPSON
(worried)
"Something’s going on, Bart. Pets have been disappearing all over town."

BART SIMPSON
(excited)
"Maybe it’s aliens! Or a secret government experiment! Cool!"

LISA SIMPSON
(frowning)
"No, Bart, it’s not cool. There’s something strange happening, and we need to figure out what it is."

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park - Tegridy Farms - Night)
(Cartman and Butters are trying to figure out what’s happening with the disappearing pets. They’re standing in front of Randy’s house.)

CARTMAN
(grinning)
"Dude, I bet Randy knows something about this. Maybe he’s stealing pets to win the election!"

BUTTERS
(innocent)
"Do you think that’s true, Eric?"

CARTMAN
"Of course it’s true, Butters! Randy’ll do anything to win."

CUT TO:
(INT. Mayor McDaniels’ Office - Day)
(Mayor McDaniels is sitting at her desk again, staring blankly into space as her aides frantically prepare talking points for her next public appearance. They look increasingly desperate.)

AIDE 2
"Mayor, please. You need to get it together. Randy Marsh is gaining momentum. If you don’t do something soon, he’s going to win."

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(confused)
"Randy who? Is he the one with the ice cream?"

(Aides look defeated. One throws down a clipboard.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park Town Square - Day)
(Randy is holding yet another rally, his crowd growing even larger. This time, he’s fully leaning into his Trump-like persona, promising the moon.)

RANDY
"Folks, Mayor McDaniels has lost it! We’ve all seen it! But I’m here to tell you that with me, we’ll make South Park strong again! We’ll build that wall, and we’ll take back control of our town!"

(Crowd cheers wildly, though some are still confused about what Randy’s actually promising.)

CUT TO:
(INT. Marsh Living Room - Night)
(Sharon watches Randy on TV, shaking her head in disbelief. Stan sits next to her, equally frustrated.)

SHARON
(sighs)
"Your dad is out of control, Stan."

STAN
(flatly)
"Yeah, but I don’t think anyone’s

going to stop him now."

END CREDITS

In this second episode, the absurdity of Mayor McDaniels’ decline is played for laughs as Randy ramps up his Trump-inspired campaign. The subplot of disappearing pets in Springfield hints at the chaos brewing in the background, setting up future episodes.

South Park Episode Three Script: "Randy’s Wall"

(Episode 3 of 6: Randy’s plan to continue building the wall around South Park to “protect its values” escalates, and tensions rise as construction progresses)

OPENING SCENE
(INT. Marsh Family Living Room - Day)
(Randy is watching TV coverage of his wall from the previous episode. The construction is already well underway. Sharon is sitting on the couch, arms crossed, looking skeptical as she watches Randy gloat.)

RANDY
(smiling)
"Sharon, look at that. My wall is halfway done, and South Park is finally gonna be safe from all those outsiders. I’m making history."

SHARON
(sarcastic)
"Yeah, Randy, history. Right up there with all the other great ideas that totally worked out."

STAN
(walking in)
"Dad, people are already upset. No one can get in or out of town without going through that giant mess."

RANDY
(dismissive)
"Stan, it’s all part of the plan. Once it’s finished, everything will be perfect. It’s about protection, son."

STAN
(fed up)
"Protection from what, Dad? You’re just making everything worse!"

SHARON
(shaking her head)
"He’s not going to listen, Stan. He’s too busy stroking his ego to realize this is insane."

RANDY
(excited)
"It’s not insane. I’m a visionary! South Park is gonna be the shining city on the hill... with a really big wall around it."

CUT TO:
(EXT. Wall Construction Site - Day)
(Randy stands proudly overseeing the workers, who are tired and disgruntled. The wall is halfway done, and there are sections with piles of concrete, half-finished barricades, and bulldozers everywhere.)

(Several protesters have gathered, holding signs that say “Stop the Wall!” and “No More Randy!” A group of supporters is also there, chanting “Finish the Wall!” The town is split.)

PROTESTER 1
(angry)
"This wall is pointless! It’s just making things harder for everyone!"

SUPPORTER 1
(defiant)
"You just don’t understand! We need to protect South Park’s Tegridy!"

PROTESTER 2
(shouting)
"From what? No one’s attacking us!"

(Randy walks up to a makeshift podium near the construction site, waving to both the protesters and supporters.)

RANDY
(booming voice)
"Folks, don’t be fooled by the naysayers. This wall is going to change South Park for the better. We’ll be safer, stronger, and more... tegridous than ever!"

PROTESTER 3
(shouting)
"Randy, this is tearing the town apart!"

RANDY
(fired up)
"Sometimes you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet! And right now, I’m making a huge, beautiful omelet... with a side of Tegridy Farms!"

CROWD
(half cheering, half booing)

CUT TO:
(EXT. Springfield, USA - Night)
(Pets are disappearing faster in Springfield. Lisa Simpson, Bart, and the Simpsons family are in their living room, talking about the strange events.)

LISA SIMPSON
(concerned)
"Bart, more pets are disappearing. Santa’s Little Helper is still missing, and now more families are reporting their pets gone."

BART SIMPSON
(excited)
"I’m telling you, it’s aliens! Or... maybe a conspiracy!"

LISA SIMPSON
(frowning)
"Or maybe it’s something else entirely. We need to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse."

CUT TO:
(INT. Cartman’s Bedroom - Night)
(Cartman is on his laptop, researching "pet disappearances" while Butters sits nervously next to him.)

CARTMAN
(grinning)
"Butters, I’ve cracked the case. It’s the Haitians. They’ve been eating the pets!"

BUTTERS
(shocked)
"What?! Why would they do that?"

CARTMAN
(leaning in)
"Because, Butters, they’re hungry. And they know that Springfield is a goldmine of free food. The pets are just the start."

BUTTERS
(terrified)
"Oh no! We have to save the pets!"

CARTMAN
"Exactly. We’re gonna go down to Springfield, Butters. We’re gonna be heroes. But first, we need to get some supplies."

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park - Night)
(Randy is standing on top of a newly built section of the wall, looking over the town. Sharon approaches, clearly frustrated.)

SHARON
"Randy, have you seen the news? No one can get their supplies because the wall is blocking everything! Stores are running out of food, deliveries can’t get in—"

RANDY
(interrupting, confidently)
"Sharon, you’re thinking short-term. Once the wall is done, we’ll be self-sufficient. We won’t need outsiders bringing us anything."

SHARON
(fed up)
"Randy, people can’t even get to work! This wall is a disaster!"

RANDY
(stubborn)
"You don’t get it, Sharon. Once it’s finished, everyone will see the genius of it. They just need to be patient."

SHARON
(sighing)
"Randy, you’re putting our whole town at risk just to play out some fantasy of yours."

CUT TO:
(INT. Simpson Family House - Night)
(Lisa and Bart are in the kitchen, looking through maps and articles about pet disappearances. They’re getting closer to the truth.)

LISA SIMPSON
"I’ve been following the pattern of where the pets have been disappearing. All of the incidents seem to lead back to one area."

BART SIMPSON
(grinning)
"Let’s check it out! I bet it’s a secret underground lair or something!"

(They leave the house, determined to investigate.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. Cartman’s Garage - Night)
(Cartman and Butters are gearing up for their “mission” to Springfield. Cartman is wearing a homemade tactical vest, and Butters is holding a flashlight.)

BUTTERS
(nervous)
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Eric? What if we get caught?"

CARTMAN
(grinning)
"Butters, we’re not gonna get caught. We’re heroes. Now let’s go save Springfield!"

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park Wall - Day)
(Construction is still ongoing, but cracks are starting to show. People are complaining, and the wall is causing logistical problems all over town. Protesters are getting louder.)

PROTESTER 4
(yelling)
"We can’t live like this, Randy! You’ve trapped us in here!"

RANDY
(dismissing them)
"Just wait until it’s done! Everything will make sense once the wall is complete!"

(A loud CRASH is heard as a part of the wall collapses, sending dust and debris everywhere. People start screaming and running away. Randy stares in disbelief.)

RANDY
(panicked)
"No, no, no! That wasn’t supposed to happen! It’s just a setback!"

(The protesters cheer, but Randy is still determined to fix the situation.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. Springfield Hideout - Night)
(Lisa and Bart have tracked down the Haitians to their underground hideout. They peer through a window and see the truth: the Haitians are eating the pets out of sheer desperation.)

LISA SIMPSON
(shocked)
"They’re… they’re eating them because they have no food. This is awful."

BART SIMPSON
"Whoa. Didn’t see that coming."

LISA SIMPSON
"We have to help them. This isn’t their fault."

CUT TO:
(EXT. South Park Wall - Day)
(Randy is standing in front of the half-destroyed wall, still trying to rally his supporters. But the town is fed up, and more people are joining the protests.)

RANDY
(pleading)
"Don’t give up on the wall! We’re almost there!"

PROTESTER 5
(shouting)
"No one wants this anymore, Randy! You’ve ruined everything!"

(Randy looks around, realizing his support is crumbling, but he refuses to back down.)

END SCENE
(The chaos in both South Park and Springfield continues to escalate as Randy’s wall nears completion, and Cartman’s “investigation” gets more out of hand.)

END CREDITS

In this revised third episode, the focus is on the crumbling wall construction and the growing opposition to Randy’s Trump-inspired agenda, while the Springfield subplot introduces a deeper layer of social satire, showing how economic desperation leads to dire consequences. Cartman and Butters’ investigation builds towards a clash between Springfield and South Park, which will escalate in future episodes.

Here’s the script for Episode 4: “Sharon’s Debate”:

South Park Episode Four Script: "Sharon's Debate"

(Episode 4 of 6: Sharon Marsh faces Randy in a chaotic mayoral debate, as her campaign tries to balance pandering and sincerity, while the town’s frustrations with the wall intensify.)

OPENING SCENE
(INT. Marsh Family Living Room - Day)
(Sharon is watching TV, where news anchors are covering the upcoming mayoral debate. Stan is in the kitchen making a sandwich, and Randy is pacing back and forth, clearly pumped up for the debate.)

TV NEWS ANCHOR
(voice-over)
"And tonight’s mayoral debate between incumbent Mayor McDaniels, Randy Marsh, and Sharon Marsh is expected to draw record viewership as tensions over the South Park wall continue to rise."

STAN
(looking over at Sharon)
"Mom, are you really going through with this? Dad’s a total maniac right now."

SHARON
(sighing)
"Someone has to stop him, Stan. This wall... his whole mayoral campaign... it’s destroying the town. But I’m not sure I know how to beat him."

STAN
"Well, maybe you could start by not laughing awkwardly like you do every time someone asks you a hard question."

SHARON
(defensive)
"I don’t laugh like that!"

STAN
"Yeah, you do. Everyone’s talking about it."

(Sharon looks uncomfortable but tries to shrug it off.)

RANDY
(enthusiastically)
"Tonight’s the night, Sharon! I hope you’re ready for some fireworks. I’m about to destroy that debate stage!"

SHARON
(serious)
"Randy, this is about the town, not your ego. People are suffering because of you."

RANDY
(waving her off)
"Pfft. I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to this town. They just don’t realize it yet. But after tonight, everyone will."

(Sharon shakes her head as Randy storms out of the room, clearly more focused on winning than the consequences of his actions.)

CUT TO:
(INT. South Park Town Hall - Night)
(The stage is set for the mayoral debate. There are three podiums: one for Mayor McDaniels, one for Randy, and one for Sharon. The audience is a mix of angry townspeople, Randy supporters, and a few confused onlookers. A moderator stands ready at the center of the stage.)

MODERATOR
"Welcome, everyone, to the South Park mayoral debate! Tonight, we have our incumbent, Mayor McDaniels, and our two challengers, Randy Marsh and Sharon Marsh. Let’s get started."

(Sharon is visibly nervous, fidgeting at her podium. Randy stands confidently, smirking at her.)

MODERATOR
"First question: What is your plan to resolve the growing issues surrounding the wall?"

RANDY
(jumping in before Sharon can speak)
"It’s simple. We finish the wall. We build it higher, stronger, and more tegridy than ever before. People who don’t want the wall just don’t understand the big picture."

SHARON
(struggling to respond without awkwardly laughing)
"Randy... th-this isn’t a joke! The wall is causing real problems for the town—"

RANDY
(mocking)
"Maybe you should laugh about it, Sharon. You know, like you do with all the serious issues."

(The crowd laughs, and Sharon looks flustered. She starts to speak, but Randy cuts her off again.)

RANDY
"Look, I’m the only candidate here who understands what South Park needs. My wall isn’t just a wall. It’s a symbol of our independence. It’s a symbol of our... Tegridy!"

SHARON
(fumbling)
"But it’s dividing the town! People are trapped. We need to—"

RANDY
(interrupting)
"People aren’t trapped. They’re just... protected! They should be thanking me!"

(The crowd is split between cheers from Randy’s supporters and boos from those opposed to the wall.)

CUT TO:
(INT. Cartman’s Basement - Night)
(Cartman and Butters are watching the debate on TV while working on their “investigation” into the Springfield pet disappearances.)

CARTMAN
(laughing)
"Dude, Randy’s crushing it! Sharon’s totally blowing it with that laugh!"

BUTTERS
(innocent)
"But shouldn’t we be rooting for Mrs. Marsh, Eric? She’s trying to fix the wall problem."

CARTMAN
(scoffing)
"Pff, screw the wall. We’re gonna be heroes when we save Springfield from those pet-eating Haitians!"

(They return to their conspiracy board, which is covered in strings and photos connecting Springfield to South Park. Cartman’s delusional plan to “save” Springfield is getting more ridiculous by the minute.)

CUT TO:
(INT. South Park Town Hall - Night)
(The debate continues. Sharon is trying to regain her composure, but Randy’s chaotic energy is winning over more of the crowd.)

MODERATOR
"Next question: How will you handle the economic fallout from the wall?"

SHARON
(nervously)
"We need to focus on unity... and bringing the town back together—"

(She laughs awkwardly mid-sentence, just as Stan predicted. The crowd groans.)

RANDY
(grinning)
"See? There it is again! You can’t take her seriously when she’s laughing every time she talks about serious stuff."

(The crowd laughs with Randy, and Sharon looks even more flustered.)

SHARON
(defensive)
"I’m not laughing! I—"
(Another nervous chuckle escapes her lips.)

RANDY
(leaning in)
"Face it, Sharon. You’re out of your depth. I’m the only one who knows how to lead this town."

(The camera cuts to Mayor McDaniels, who is slumped over her podium, clearly disoriented and mumbling nonsensically to herself.)

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(quietly)
"Cats... flying... where’s my pudding?"

(The crowd barely notices as she fades into the background of the debate.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. Springfield Streets - Night)
(Lisa and Bart are still trying to help the Haitian immigrants who have been forced to eat pets. They’re in a meeting with some community members, trying to figure out how to provide food and resources to the Haitian population.)

LISA SIMPSON
"We need to come together and help them. This isn’t their fault. They’re victims of a broken system."

BART SIMPSON
(grinning)
"Or we could just blame the aliens. Way more fun."

LISA SIMPSON
(sighing)
"Bart, this is serious."

CUT TO:
(INT. Cartman’s Basement - Night)
(Cartman is gearing up for a “raid” on Springfield. He’s got Butters dressed in military gear, looking terrified.)

CARTMAN
"Alright, Butters, it’s time. We’re gonna stop the Haitians from eating any more pets. We’re going down there tonight!"

BUTTERS
"Gee, Eric, I dunno... What if we’re wrong? What if they’re not the ones eating the pets?"

CARTMAN
(shaking his head)
"Butters, don’t be stupid. The evidence is right in front of us. Let’s go save Springfield!"

CUT TO:
(INT. South Park Town Hall - Night)
(The debate is wrapping up. Sharon has managed to get in a few coherent points, but Randy’s bombastic style and interruptions have dominated the evening.)

MODERATOR
"Final question: What do you believe South Park needs most from its next mayor?"

SHARON
(trying to speak from the heart)
"What South Park needs is... unity. We’re all part of the same town. We shouldn’t be building walls. We should be working together to fix the problems Randy’s created. We need real leadership that—"

(She chuckles awkwardly again, and the crowd groans.)

RANDY
(jumping in)
"What we need is Tegridy! And I’m the only one who’s got it. I’ve built something amazing with my wall, and when it’s finished, this town is gonna be the greatest town in the country!"

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(quietly)
"I want pudding... Where’s my pudding..."

(The moderator closes the debate as the audience erupts into a mixture of cheers and boos. Sharon looks defeated, while Randy pumps his fists in the air, basking in the attention.)

MODERATOR
"Thank you, everyone, for attending the South Park mayoral debate. We’ll see you at the polls!"

CUT TO:
(INT. Marsh Family Living Room - Night)
(Sharon walks into the living room, clearly exhausted from the debate. Stan is sitting on the couch, waiting for her.)

STAN
(supportively)
"Mom, you did fine. Dad was just being a jerk."

SHARON
(sighing)
"I don’t know if I can win, Stan. Randy’s turning this whole town against me, and I just keep... laughing."

(She laughs nervously again, but then sighs, frustrated with herself.)

STAN
"Maybe you just need to be yourself."

(Sharon looks thoughtful as she sits down next to Stan, contemplating her next move.)

CUT TO:
(INT. Cartman’s Basement - Night)
(Cartman and Butters are preparing to head out on their “mission” to Springfield. Cartman is clearly excited, while Butters looks terrified.)

CARTMAN
(grinning)
"Time to save Springfield, Butters! We’re gonna be heroes."

END CREDITS

Episode 4 sets the stage for further chaos, with Sharon still struggling to find her footing, Randy basking in his growing influence, and Cartman preparing to take his Springfield conspiracy to the next level.

all 2 comments
sorted by:
new (suggested)
topinsightfulfun

[–]Mcheetah[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Here’s a script for Episode 6: "Election Day":

South Park Episode Six Script: "Election Day"

(Episode 6 of 6: Randy wins the mayoral election in a landslide, while Sharon faces the absurdity of losing to his nonsense. Meanwhile, the "war" between Springfield and South Park reaches an unexpectedly silly conclusion.)

OPENING SCENE
(EXT. SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY - MORNING)
(The town has been turned into an Election Day carnival. Booths with voting signs are scattered all over, and people are lining up to cast their votes. Giant Randy Marsh posters are everywhere, showing him with a cheesy grin and the slogan “FREE WEED! MAKE SOUTH PARK GREAT AGAIN!”)

RANDY
(standing near the entrance, shaking hands)
"Remember, folks, vote Randy! Free weed for everyone, and we’ll make sure no one from Springfield ever steps foot in our town again!"

(Crowd members cheer as they enter the school to vote. Meanwhile, Sharon is standing nearby, holding a modest sign that says “Vote for Reason.” Hardly anyone notices her.)

SHARON
(sighing to herself)
"I can’t believe this is happening… again."

(Stan approaches her, looking defeated.)

STAN
"Mom, I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening anymore."

SHARON
(sighing)
"Apparently, free weed is all it takes to fix South Park."

CUT TO:
(INT. VOTING BOOTHS - INSIDE SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY)
(Inside the voting booths, various South Park residents are making their choices. Randy’s name is in bold on the ballot with a weed leaf next to it. Sharon’s name is plain, with no flashy logos.)

CARTMAN
(looking at the ballot, grinning)
"Well, I know who I’m voting for. Randy’s gonna make South Park great again… and give me free weed!"

KYLE
(shaking his head)
"Cartman, you're not old enough to vote and you don’t even smoke weed."

CARTMAN
"Yeah, but I could start. Plus, Randy said no more pet eaters from Springfield. That’s a promise!"

(Kyle rolls his eyes as he casts his vote. We see various other townspeople gleefully voting for Randy, with only a handful choosing Sharon.)

CUT TO:
(INT. TOWN HALL - LATER THAT DAY)
(The election results are being counted, and it’s clear Randy is winning by a landslide. Randy is pacing excitedly while Sharon sits nearby, resigned to her fate.)

ELECTION OFFICIAL
(excitedly announcing)
"With 90% of the votes counted, Randy Marsh appears to be the projected winner and your new South Park mayor!"

RANDY
(fist-pumping)
"YES! I told you! South Park knows what it needs! Weed and walls!"

(Sharon sighs, looking at the small group of her supporters in the corner.)

SHARON
(sarcastic)
"Great. More weed and walls."

CUT TO:
(EXT. SPRINGFIELD TOWN HALL - DAY)
(Meanwhile, over in Springfield, Bart and Lisa are watching the aftermath of their prank war with South Park. The pranksters have mostly retreated, but the damage remains: toilet paper strewn across buildings, graffiti everywhere.)

LISA SIMPSON
"Well, Bart, I hope you’re proud of yourself. This ‘war’ didn’t solve anything."

BART SIMPSON
(grinning)
"Are you kidding? It was epic! But yeah, maybe it’s time to end this."

(Mayor Quimby is standing nearby, addressing the Springfield residents.)

MAYOR QUIMBY
(clearly confused)
"Alright, people, let’s—wait, who are we at war with again?"

(Lisa rolls her eyes, and Bart chuckles.)

CUT TO:
(INT. MAYOR MCDANIELS’ OFFICE - SOUTH PARK)
(Mayor McDaniels, now completely senile, is sitting at her desk trying to fill out her own ballot.)

MAYOR MCDANIELS
(confused)
"Why isn’t my name on here? I’ve been mayor for years… where’s my name?"

(She stares at the ballot, then shrugs and writes her name in the space for a write-in candidate.)

MAYOR MCDANIELS
"Well, I’ll just vote for myself. That should do the trick."

CUT TO:
(EXT. SOUTH PARK TOWN SQUARE - LATER)
(The results are announced on a big screen. Randy has won in a landslide victory, with Mayor McDaniels getting a laughable write-in vote count.)

ELECTION OFFICIAL
"And the new mayor of South Park is… Randy Marsh!"

(The crowd erupts into cheers, chanting “RANDY! RANDY! RANDY!” Randy, beaming with pride, steps up to a makeshift podium. Sharon stands behind him, looking disheartened.)

RANDY
(shouting into the mic)
"Thank you, South Park! I promise to deliver on all my promises: free weed, no more Springfield invaders, and we’re gonna keep South Park for real South Parkers!"

(The crowd cheers again. Sharon looks at him, shaking her head.)

SHARON
"Randy, you can’t actually give people free weed. You don’t have the authority to—"

RANDY
(ignoring her, to the crowd)
"AND, to solve this ridiculous war with Springfield, I declare that every family gets a free pet! No more missing animals!"

(The crowd goes wild again. Sharon stares at him in disbelief.)

SHARON
"You’re giving people pets to fix a war between Springfield?"

RANDY
(grinning)
"Yep! That’s how we do it. Randy style."

CUT TO:
(EXT. SPRINGFIELD TOWN HALL - LATER)
(Back in Springfield, word reaches the town about Randy’s new “free pet” initiative. Mayor Quimby holds a press conference, clearly confused but going along with it.)

MAYOR QUIMBY
"Well, it seems the good people of South Park have decided to offer us… free pets. So, uh, I guess that’s a resolution?"

(The Springfield residents are equally confused, but Bart and Lisa exchange a look.)

BART SIMPSON
"Hey, free pets! I’m in."

LISA SIMPSON
(sighing)
"This is the dumbest resolution ever… but at least it’s over."

CUT TO:
(EXT. SOUTH PARK TOWN SQUARE - NIGHT)
(The election celebrations are in full swing. Randy’s supporters are partying in the streets, high on both weed and excitement. Meanwhile, Sharon watches from a distance, shaking her head in defeat.)

SHARON
(to herself)
"How did it come to this? All these promises… and none of them even make sense."

(Stan walks up beside her, looking equally resigned.)

STAN
"You know, mom... Sometimes, in crazy times, we need crazy solutions. And I don't know anyone crazier than Dad."

SHARON
(sighing)
"You know... Perhaps you're right."

(They watch as Randy rides through town on a float, waving a South Park flag and tossing weed leaves to the crowd.)

FINAL SCENE
(EXT. SPRINGFIELD TOWN BORDER - NIGHT)
(The South Park and Springfield residents gather at the border, where a group of Haitians has arrived with a cart full of baby animals. Bart and Lisa receive a puppy version of Santa's Little Helper. The South Park crowd cheer as they receive their new pets. The Springfield pranksters sheepishly return to their side of the border.)

BART SIMPSON
"Well, I guess that’s it. We got our pets back."

LISA SIMPSON
"Yeah… but I still can’t believe this was about missing pets in the first place."

(Both towns celebrate the end of their bizarre “war” as Randy stands triumphantly at the top of his wall, grinning like a conquering hero.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SOUTH PARK TOWN HALL - NIGHT)
(Randy gives one final speech to the town, basking in his victory.)

RANDY
"South Park! We’ve won! And this town will always be for the real South Parkers! No more outsiders! No more… wait, what were we talking about?"

(The crowd laughs, cheering for Randy. Sharon watches from the back, shaking her head in disbelief.)

SHARON
"God help us all."

FADE OUT
(END OF EPISODE)

This wraps up the election arc with Randy's nonsensical victory, Sharon’s continued struggle for sanity, and the absurd resolution to the South Park-Springfield “war.”

[–]Mcheetah[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Episode 5 sets the stage for the impending conflict between Springfield and South Park.

South Park Episode Script: "Randy’s Rallies"

(Episode 5 of 6: Tensions between Springfield and South Park rise as Cartman’s failed raid sparks accusations and Randy doubles down on his wall, setting the stage for an all-out war.)

OPENING SCENE
(EXT. SOUTH PARK TOWN SQUARE - DAY)
(Randy is standing on a stage in the middle of a massive crowd. He’s wearing a flashy suit, looking overly confident. The crowd is holding signs like “RANDY 2024” and “KEEP SOUTH PARK PURE.” He raises his arms to get the crowd hyped.)

RANDY
(shouting into the microphone)
"South Park, are you ready for some REAL change?!"

(Crowd cheers wildly. Randy grins, playing up his Trump-like energy.)

RANDY
"That’s right, people! You’re all gonna get FREE weed! And you know what? We’re gonna build that wall higher—no, we’re gonna make it taller and thicker to keep out the outsiders!"

(The crowd erupts with chants of “BUILD THAT WALL! BUILD THAT WALL!” Randy grins, feeding off their energy.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. RALLY GROUNDS - BACKSTAGE AREA - SAME TIME)
(Sharon is pacing nervously. She’s supposed to speak after Randy, but it’s clear she’s not excited about it. She watches Randy from the side, frowning.)

SHARON
(sighing, to herself)
"How am I supposed to compete with free weed and crazy promises?"

(Stans walks up beside her, looking uncomfortable.)

STAN
"Mom, do you really have to do this? Dad’s rallies are… uh, kinda hard to beat."

SHARON
(firmly)
"Stan, someone has to be the voice of reason. I can’t let your dad just turn this election into a circus."

(She takes a deep breath and heads toward the stage as Randy finishes up his speech.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. RALLY STAGE - MOMENTS LATER)
(Sharon steps onto the stage, the crowd’s energy immediately shifts. They’re clearly not as excited to see her. She takes the mic, trying to project confidence.)

SHARON
"Thank you. Look, I know my opponent, Randy Marsh, has made some big promises today. But we need to focus on real solutions for South Park, not—"

CROWD MEMBER
(heckling)
"BOOO! Give us more weed!"

SHARON
(raising her voice)
"I’m talking about actual policies that can make South Park better! We can’t just build walls and give away free drugs! We need infrastructure—"

CROWD
(booing)
"WE WANT WEED! WE WANT WEED!"

(Sharon tries to continue, but the crowd’s chants drown her out. Randy watches from the side, smirking.)

RANDY
(mocking)
"Tough crowd, Sharon. Maybe they just want a leader who knows how to have fun!"

(The crowd laughs, and Sharon is visibly frustrated. She tries to push through her speech, but the audience’s attention is clearly on Randy’s showmanship rather than her logical arguments.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SPRINGFIELD - DAY)
(Bart, Lisa, and other Springfield residents are gathered in front of the town hall, furious after Cartman and Butters’ latest stunt. Mayor Quimby is trying to calm the crowd, but Bart is stoking the flames.)

MAYOR QUIMBY
"People, we can’t let this turn into a war! South Park is a small town just like ours. We must find a peaceful resolution."

BART SIMPSON
(grinning mischievously)
"Yeah, right! They started this, and now we finish it! Let’s give them a taste of their own medicine!"

LISA SIMPSON
(crossing her arms)
"Bart, you’re just making things worse. This whole thing is ridiculous!"

(The crowd is divided, with some people nodding along to Lisa’s rational arguments, while others are hyped up by Bart’s rebelliousness.)

MOE
(shouting)
"They think we eat pets? Well, let’s show them what we’re capable of!"

(The crowd cheers, and the town begins gearing up for “war” against South Park, though it’s clear the “war” is mostly just pranks and exaggerated responses to Cartman’s rumors.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SOUTH PARK TOWN SQUARE - DAY)
(Randy is holding another rally, but this time there’s a growing tension. People in the crowd start throwing around exaggerated rumors about Springfield.)

RANDY
(excitedly)
"Those people in Springfield think they can mess with us? They think they can eat our pets and get away with it?"

(Crowd boos and chants “NO PET EATERS!”)

KYLE
(to Stan, looking worried)
"Your dad’s really making this worse. If Springfield actually comes here, we could end up in a real fight."

STAN
(annoyed)
"Yeah, well, welcome to my life."

(The crowd gets more riled up as Randy stokes the flames, making ridiculous claims about Springfield’s supposed “attacks.” Sharon watches from the sidelines, growing more and more concerned.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SPRINGFIELD TOWN BORDER - NIGHT)
(Springfield residents, led by Bart and some of the more aggressive locals, are setting up for their “war” with South Park. They’re armed with prank supplies like toilet paper, stink bombs, and spray paint.)

BART SIMPSON
(excitedly)
"Alright, everyone! Let’s show South Park who’s boss!"

LISA SIMPSON
(shaking her head)
"Bart, this is stupid. You’re only making things worse."

BART
(smirking)
"Exactly. That’s the point."

(The Springfield prank squad heads toward the South Park wall, ready to escalate the situation. But behind the pranks, there’s a sense that things are starting to get out of control.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SOUTH PARK TOWN HALL - NIGHT)
(Sharon is holding a small, poorly attended town hall meeting, trying to get people to focus on real issues instead of Randy’s inflammatory rhetoric. There are only a few people in the room, and they seem disengaged.)

SHARON
"Look, we need to stop this before it gets worse. Springfield isn’t really our enemy. We need to be talking about fixing our roads, improving schools—"

(A loud crash is heard outside. Sharon and the attendees look out the window to see Springfield pranksters toilet-papering the South Park town hall.)

SHARON
(throwing her hands up)
"Of course. Because this is what happens when people listen to Randy instead of using common sense."

(The small crowd in her town hall starts filing out, more interested in seeing the pranks than listening to Sharon’s logical policies.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SOUTH PARK BORDER - NIGHT)
(Springfield pranksters are met by Randy’s self-appointed “border patrol.” The two groups square off, with each side wildly overestimating the other’s threat. Toilet paper and spray paint fly as the South Park “defenders” try to fend off the pranksters.)

RANDY
(standing atop his wall, shouting into a megaphone)
"THIS IS IT, PEOPLE! SPRINGFIELD HAS DECLARED WAR! PROTECT OUR TOWN!"

(Crowd members start throwing whatever they can find at the Springfield pranksters, as the situation spirals into chaos. Both sides think they’re fighting for real, even though the “battle” is completely ridiculous.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. MARSH HOUSE - NIGHT)
(Stan and Kyle are watching the chaos from the Marsh family porch. Cartman runs up to them, breathless and excited.)

CARTMAN
"Guys! It’s happening! The war is ON! We have to defend South Park from the pet-eating invaders!"

KYLE
(rolling his eyes)
"This is all your fault, Cartman. You and your stupid rumors."

STAN
(sighing)
"Yeah, and now my dad’s making it even worse."

(As the chaos continues in the background, Sharon watches from the doorway, looking exhausted and defeated.)

CUT TO:
(INT. SPRINGFIELD TOWN HALL - NIGHT)
(Lisa is watching the chaos from a distance, shaking her head in disbelief.)

LISA SIMPSON
(sighing)
"I can’t believe this is happening… over pets."

(Mayor Quimby stands nearby, completely oblivious to the real problem.)

MAYOR QUIMBY
(cheerfully)
"Well, at least no one’s actually getting hurt! This will blow over soon enough."

(Lisa rolls her eyes as the pranks and petty conflict escalate in the distance.)

END SCENE
(*The conflict between South Park and Springfield is rapidly escalating, and Randy’s rallies continue to grow more absurd. Sharon struggles to make her voice heard as the situation spirals out of control.