You're right about Black Pill being the "given up" ones and Pink Pill being less so, and the energy is definitely different between the two. I guess I'm saying that at this point I'm not sure where to turn to regarding an online community. For me, it's not really about changing the system necessarily or helping other women realize it sucks. I really don't like forcing reality onto women who aren't ready to face it. They're on their own timeline. It's like what you said about women over at FDS, they haven't given up on men and FDS caters to that. But I'm past it and it gets pretty annoying seeing comments that are so male-centric and desperate about finding a partner. So I'm torn between sort of holding their hand and taking them down the rabbit hole slowly, and just saying "fuck it" altogether. I suppose though that any sort of contribution to that sub about the depravity of men helps, so yeah, I can get on that. But I still feel out of place.

Someone today there said "there's nothing wrong with wanting a man"... in my opinion there definitely is. Because why? Why would ANY WOMAN in her right mind want a man? I simply do not understand it. And I mean that literally, I don't get it. There's nothing I get from a relationship with a man. He has everything to gain and I have everything to lose. I'm not even a lesbian, and I find sex with men repulsive because they're rapists and I don't want to be penetrated by unworthy, unwashed dick. My clitoris does fine on its own. I also don't want kids. And I recognize that marriage is for men, always has been. So what is left? They are incapable of intimacy. Again, what is there? These women are still living in a fairy tale and it grosses me out. There's too much to undo. Relationships with men were mainly invented by men for their own benefit. That's it. Outside of procreation, we're not really "meant" to be with them.

As far as WGTOW goes, I do understand that the name is important because for so long women's identity has been tied to men. But it still really bothers me, because it sort of perpetuates that relationship by practically announcing "I don't need men, let's talk about it". No. It's a given that I don't need men. Do we need a name for people who drink water? It's absurd to me.

Now I'm talking about the West when I say this: now that we are not financially dependent on men, most of the oppression holding us back are beliefs and attitudes about women and ourselves as women. The world will take a long time to catch up, but as an individual I'm already there. Again, I feel out of place. I can't emphasize that enough. My reality is full of opportunities to live a great life and I've already started. So rather than changing the system and helping other women, I just want to succeed in my own way free from all the bullshit. At the same time, I know that I live here, right now. And the rest of the world isn't as evolved as I want it to be. So I just don't know what to do.

I'm venting at this point. Had to get these feelings out because they were eating away at me.