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NotTheOnion

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25
49

Dear Men: Stop Working Out.

submitted 1 year ago by Drewski from sisthis.com

  • 68 comments
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61
48

Linux team approves new terminology, bans terms like 'blacklist' and 'slave'

submitted 2 years ago by TruthTeller from zdnet.com

  • 93 comments
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42
45

Biden Tells Staffers To Pick Any Black Person For VP 'Since They All Think The Same Anyway' | The Babylon Bee

submitted 1 year ago by christnmusicreleases from babylonbee.com

  • 9 comments
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52
43

Danbury, CT responds to John Oliver diss by naming sewage plant after him: "Because it’s full of crap, just like you, John" | Disrn

submitted 1 year ago by christnmusicreleases from disrn.com

  • 41 comments
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20
35

New Study Finds People Are Immune To COVID-19 While Rioting And Looting

submitted 1 year ago by sadocgawkroger from eyeofthetiber.com

  • 5 comments
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33
32

PewDiePie's Spotify playlist leaked, and people are *outraged* that he listens to the same music as them. Creators immediately launched "disavow" campaigns. Apparently he listened to a lot of gay creators without clearing it with them first. He didn't even know they were gay!

submitted 2 years ago by Chipit from youtube.com

  • 13 comments
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16
29

Government Promises To Give All Our Freedoms ‘Right Back’ After Virus

submitted 1 year ago by christnmusicreleases from thegloriousamerican.com

  • 4 comments
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16
29

Couples should wear face masks during sex, new study insists

submitted 2 years ago by Drewski from nypost.com

  • 11 comments
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40
27

NPR Claims That Calling A Riot A "Riot" Is Racist

submitted 1 year ago by zyxzevn from zerohedge.com

  • 8 comments
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14
26

Kamala Harris Quotes As Motivational Posters, Part 2

submitted 24 days ago by cottoneyejoe from thefederalist.com

  • 6 comments
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28
25

Truck Convoys are TOXIC, FASCIST & RUSSIAN 😂😂😂

submitted 6 months ago by Gravi from youtube.com

  • 9 comments
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19
25

BLM Teacher Says 2+2 Only = 4 Because of “Western Imperialism”

submitted 2 years ago by Questionable from summit.news

  • 15 comments
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17
24

Woman claims she was "virtually groped" by a gang of male avatars in Meta's metaverse

submitted 6 months ago by CleverFoolOfEarth from businessinsider.com

  • 28 comments
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15
24

California governor's office tells diners to wear masks "in between bites"

submitted 1 year ago by Tom_Bombadil from cbsnews.com

  • 14 comments
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22
22

Anti-Vax Propaganda Up the Wazoo

submitted 6 months ago by Gravi from i.imgur.com

  • 11 comments
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26
22

Feminist makes the case for calling Newton's Laws "Newton's Rape Manual". These are the people teaching college students.

submitted 2 years ago by Chipit from stephenhicks.org

  • 45 comments
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22
21

Eco crusader Kylie Jenner, 24, is slammed for taking 12-min flight on her $70m private jet when the drive was only 26 miles - and she drove 30mins in the WRONG direction to reach the plane!

submitted 19 days ago by HongKongPhooey from dailymail.co.uk

  • 15 comments
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23
21

C.I.A. Says It Has Found No Link Between Itself and Crack Trade (Published 1997)

submitted 1 year ago by CompleteDoubterII from nytimes.com

  • 13 comments
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54
21

The Oregonian issued a tweet assuring readers that it was only a white guy who was killed by police so no need to riot and loot

submitted 1 year ago by Drewski from notthebee.com

  • 8 comments
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39
21

SF Board Of Education Commissioner: Merit Is ‘An Inherently Racist Construct Designed And Centered On White Supremacist Framing’ | The Daily Wire

submitted 1 year ago by Chipit from dailywire.com

  • 29 comments
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43
21

Oh look, here's Hillary Clinton's statement after Justice Scalia died in 2016

submitted 1 year ago by christnmusicreleases from media.notthebee.com

  • 12 comments
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11
20

USA Today Fact-Checks Babylon Bee 'Claim' that 9th Circuit Court Overturned RBG Death. The Babylon Bee struck back this morning with "USA Today Publishes Fact-Check On Whether A Priest, A Rabbi, And A Minister Really Walked Into A Bar Together"

submitted 1 year ago by Chipit from youtube.com

  • 7 comments
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17
20

'Babylon Bee' CEO: 'How funny is it that CNN is coming after us for spreading disinformation?'

submitted 2 years ago by Chipit from foxnews.com

  • 1 comment
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14
19

BLM co-founder: Charity transparency laws are 'triggering'

submitted 3 months ago by jet199 from washingtonexaminer.com

  • 8 comments
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32
19

And, just like that, gender is no longer a social construct.

submitted 5 months ago by Chipit from i.imgur.com

  • 12 comments
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31
19

Antifastan is mad at EMS for not helping a shooting victim. They wouldn't help because police couldn't secure the scene. Police couldn't secure the scene because Antifastan wouldn't let them in.

submitted 2 years ago by Chipit from youtube.com

  • 2 comments
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19
18

Indian politician drinks water from polluted ‘holy’ river, gets hospitalised

submitted 15 days ago by GeorgeCarlin from independent.co.uk

  • 7 comments
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19
18

Twerking State Senator Claims She Is Being Targeted Because She's "Queer" And "Black"

submitted 1 month ago by Drewski from zerohedge.com

  • 17 comments
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9
18

Ingesting semen can improve your IQ and boost your mood, studies claim

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from dailystar.co.uk

  • 25 comments
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26
17

Kaepernick calls Independence Day a 'celebration of white supremacy'. His parents (adopted) were white and grew up in wealth.

submitted 2 years ago by chumbawamba from dailymail.co.uk

  • 18 comments
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19
16

Male blood donor turned away after refusing to say if he was pregnant

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from dailymail.co.uk

  • 17 comments
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21
16

If HuffPo didn't have double standards, they wouldn't have standards at all.

submitted 5 months ago by CleverFoolOfEarth from i.redd.it

  • 12 comments
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34
16

This was bound to happen somewhere

submitted 10 months ago by jet199 from imgur.com

  • 76 comments
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20
16

On The Babylon Bee podcast, Kyle, Ethan, and Wes read through a hilarious debate between Wikipedia's editors over whether The Babylon Bee is funny satire -- or dangerous right-wing disinformation.

submitted 1 year ago by Chipit from youtu.be

  • 14 comments
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23
16

Michelle Obama: Former US first lady says she has 'low-grade depression'. Is she mildly depressed in the $8 million dollar place in DC or the $12 million dollar place in Martha's Vineyard?

submitted 2 years ago by Chipit from bbc.com

  • 64 comments
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11
15

Randy husband buys sex doll that looks like wife for when she's not in the mood

submitted 22 days ago by HongKongPhooey from dailystar.co.uk

  • 20 comments
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8
15

Urgent Warning! Do Not Try To Hex Putin! Please share, you may save a life 🙏

submitted 5 months ago by Chipit from i.imgur.com

  • 5 comments
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15
15

A Liberal Professor Starts To Learn Why People Want To Open Up. He was all in favor of continuing the lockdown, until suddenly his college announced that the raises professors were expecting would not be given, plus money put into the retirement fund would not be given, either. He was livid.

submitted 2 years ago by Chipit from iwantanewleft.typepad.com

  • 66 comments
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14
14

During a heat wave, women are advised against putting popsicles in their vaginas to cool down.

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from technotrenz.com

  • 13 comments
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10
14

The new face of homophobia🐶

submitted 2 months ago by jet199 from imgur.com

  • 3 comments
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5
14

83 Year Old Woman Sued For Repeatedly Pooping In Pool at Luxury Condo

submitted 3 months ago by HongKongPhooey from nypost.com

  • 4 comments
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19
14

Joe Biden said: "Two (black) congressmen look like they really could play ball and the other (brown) one looks like he can bomb you."

submitted 5 months ago by iamonlyoneman from twitter.com

  • 4 comments
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14
14

Woman finds out her dad has been buying her nudes on OnlyFans

submitted 6 months ago by Antarchomachus from metro.co.uk

  • 15 comments
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16
14

Whoopi Goldberg ‘Shocked’ at Catching COVID Despite Being Triple Vaxxed

submitted 7 months ago by cottoneyejoe from summit.news

  • 67 comments
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35
14

People are really now arguing that all children must be put on puberty blocking hormones, period. Anyone who disagrees must be uninformed.

submitted 1 year ago by Chipit from i.ruqqus.com

  • 82 comments
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27
14

New York Times journalist can't tell the difference between real and fake news. She shared a satirical article from the Babylon Bee entitled "NBA Players Wear Special Lace Collars To Honor Ruth Bader Ginsburg" and treated it like real news.

submitted 1 year ago by Chipit from twitter.com

  • 8 comments
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16
14

Chicago Mayor begs Walmart and other major retailers to not abandon the city after rioters and looters absolutely wrecked their stores.

submitted 2 years ago by Chipit from youtube.com

  • 2 comments
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11
14

Gender Bender

submitted 2 years ago by useless_aether from files.catbox.moe

  • 6 comments
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13
13

Lesbian Conference Invites Male As Keynote Speaker

submitted 6 months ago by jet199 from reduxx.info

  • 8 comments
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7
12

Man farts on woman in bar a year after she rejected him for a third date

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from indy100.com

  • 5 comments
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6
12

The Uncomfortable Truth About Getting Sand In Your Vagina

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from refinery29.com

  • 13 comments
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9
12

Kindergarteners ‘woozy’ after drinking margaritas at Michigan school

submitted 3 months ago by HongKongPhooey from nypost.com

  • 2 comments
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16
12

Teacher investigated for 'inappropriate' skin-tight Spider-Man costume

submitted 5 months ago by Jackalope from thesun.co.uk

  • 12 comments
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21
12

What a load of bull....

submitted 6 months ago by Gravi from i.imgur.com

  • 2 comments
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14
12

New culturally sensitive statue erected in Peru

submitted 6 months ago by jet199 from imgur.com

  • 11 comments
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13
12

Saudi camel beauty pageant cracks down on cosmetic enhancements

submitted 8 months ago by jet199 from bbc.co.uk

  • 5 comments
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10
12

Peak Idiocy: Wisconsin Government Agency Mandates Facemask Use For Virtual Zoom Meetings

submitted 1 year ago by zyxzevn from zerohedge.com

  • 1 comment
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28
12

Student can't vote for more than half of candidates in student union election because of his race/gender etc.

submitted 2 years ago by Chipit from i.redd.it

  • 15 comments
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25
12

The Young Turks' Cenk Uygur Urged His Staff Not To Unionize. The Democratic congressional candidate threw papers onto the floor and scolded an employee during the meeting. Apparently workers getting a fair share means his company will fail.

submitted 2 years ago by Chipit from huffpost.com

  • 10 comments
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12
12

South Florida Cop Shoots Self while trying to Shoot Family Dog Named Bella

submitted 2 years ago by Tiwaking from newsmaven.io

  • 2 comments
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14
11

How to have SEX with monkeypox: Bizarre CDC guide revealed

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from dailymail.co.uk

  • 17 comments
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15
11

Elephant kills woman in India and returns to trample on her corpse at funeral

submitted 1 month ago by jet199 from dailymail.co.uk

  • 8 comments
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8
11

In February 2020 a shocking video began to circulate on Chinese social media. A group of African children are being instructed, by a voice off-camera, to chant phrases in Chinese but they don't understand that what they're being told to say is " I am a black monster and my IQ is low."

submitted 1 month ago by jet199 from bbc.co.uk

  • 8 comments
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8
11

Man Hospitalized After Putting 15 Boiled Eggs Up His Anus

submitted 3 months ago by HongKongPhooey from iflscience.com

  • 11 comments
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7
11

Elementary School Students Accidentally Grow Cactus Clown Penises

submitted 3 months ago by HongKongPhooey from methodshop.com

  • 5 comments
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6
11

How to hide a promiscuous past from your new man

submitted 5 months ago by SWOLE from lulz.com

  • 8 comments
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17
11

Public Servant AOC Wears 'Tax the Rich' Dress to $30k Per Ticket Event

submitted 10 months ago by Chipit from youtu.be

  • 49 comments
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6
11

Illinois Citizens Protest Local Graveyards For Voting In Democrats

submitted 1 year ago by christnmusicreleases from thegloriousamerican.com

  • 1 comment
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6
10

WHO Recommends New Gates-Funded Polio Vaccine to Protect from Vaccine-Derived Polio

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from childrenshealthdefense.org

  • 7 comments
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25
10

Norwegian feminist faces three years in prison for for saying men can’t be lesbians or mothers

submitted 2 months ago by HongKongPhooey from national-conservative.com

  • 16 comments
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4
10

Mum Explains Why Teenage Boys Should Masturbate With A Condom

submitted 2 months ago by HongKongPhooey from ladbible.com

  • 9 comments
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4
10

"Transracial" Influencer Reveals Plans for Penis Reduction To Become "100% Korean"

submitted 2 months ago by pcpmasterrace from hypebae.com

  • 8 comments
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9
10

The FAKE influencer trying to inspire 'real' change: Kami, the world's first VIRTUAL social media star with Down syndrome, launches Instagram to try and hit back at 'filtered and perfect' beauty standards online

submitted 2 months ago by HongKongPhooey from dailymail.co.uk

  • 24 comments
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6
10

‘Fictosexual’ man married hologram bride, but now struggles to bond with her

submitted 3 months ago by [deleted] from nypost.com

  • 4 comments
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13
10

Scottish transgender killer now self-identifying as a baby

submitted 3 months ago by HongKongPhooey from torontosun.com

  • 11 comments
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23
10

Canadian Man Jailed After 'Misgendering' His Daughter

submitted 3 months ago by HongKongPhooey from breitbart.com

  • 21 comments
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10
10

Man arrested after masturbating four times on Southwest flight, claims he had asked the permission of the passenger seated next to him

submitted 4 months ago by HongKongPhooey from independent.co.uk

  • 9 comments
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17
10

When you're Insanely OUT OF TOUCH.... - Travelling is more important for some than war.

submitted 5 months ago by Gravi from youtube.com

  • 3 comments
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8
10

Man buys billboard to advertise himself to find a date

submitted 2 years ago by [deleted] from independent.co.uk

  • 1 comment
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12
9

'Black alien' tattoo addict can't get a job because people 'judge' extreme look

submitted 17 days ago by cottoneyejoe from dailystar.co.uk

  • 25 comments
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7
9

Bereaved pet owner turned beloved dead cat into a terrifying flying machine

submitted 26 days ago by HongKongPhooey from dailystar.co.uk

  • 4 comments
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3
9

Trans model says she had ‘sex with demon’ of roommate’s ex in creepy encounter

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from dailystar.co.uk

  • 2 comments
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6
9

Stop plucking the endangered ‘penis plant’, urges Cambodian government

submitted 2 months ago by HongKongPhooey from thethaiger.com

  • 2 comments
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8
9

FDA clears ultra-thin panties that women can wear while receiving oral sex that will protect their partner from contracting STIs from infected genitals

submitted 2 months ago by HongKongPhooey from dailymail.co.uk

  • 11 comments
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17
9

Triple Vaxxed Stephen Colbert Gets Covid Twice In Three Weeks

submitted 2 months ago by Chipit from youtu.be

  • 16 comments
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15
9

Time Columnist Denounces Free Speech as a White Man’s “Obsession”

submitted 3 months ago by cottoneyejoe from blacklistednews.com

  • 17 comments
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11
9

STUDY: Whiteboards are racist because 'they collaborate with white organizational culture'

submitted 3 months ago by cottoneyejoe from campusreform.org

  • 7 comments
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12
9

NYC teacher caught sucking topless man's nipple during Zoom class

submitted 6 months ago by Antarchomachus from foxnews.com

  • 9 comments
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7
9

How is this even considered as fashionable?

submitted 6 months ago by Gravi from i.imgur.com

  • 12 comments
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7
9

Polish Activist Tries to Save "Transgender Cow" From Slaughter

submitted 6 months ago by jet199 from reduxx.info

  • 6 comments
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11
9

Trans lobby group Stonewall brands lesbians 'sexual racists'

submitted 8 months ago by Chipit from dailymail.co.uk

  • 15 comments
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10
9

Transgender ideology believers: "All invented sexualities are VALID!" Straight man: "I've invented a sexuality where I'm only attracted to female humans." TRAs: "INVALID"

submitted 1 year ago by Chipit from mobile.twitter.com

  • 1 comment
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17
9

I never thought we would see the day but yes, it's all over for math as it is a tool of the patriarchy and white men. These are real college professors saying this by the way. 2+2=5. Straight out of George Orwell's 1984.

submitted 1 year ago by Chipit from youtube.com

  • 1 comment
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12
9

GOOD GRIEF: Now Snoopy is racist according to Twitter - The Post Millennial

submitted 2 years ago by [deleted] from thepostmillennial.com

  • comment
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6
9

Shopworker stole £1,500 worth of scratchcards — and didn't win ANYTHING

submitted 3 years ago by StalwartJames from greenocktelegraph.co.uk

  • 2 comments
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7
8

Genesis star Peter Gabriel eats baked beans to stay young but worries about side effects

submitted 1 month ago by jet199 from mirror.co.uk

  • 6 comments
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11
8

MOMS GONE WILD: A group of moms went wild during a high school prom-- one mom pooped on the bathroom floor, while another made out with a senior

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from meaww.com

  • 13 comments
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18
8

Google whistleblower claims tech giant has been infiltrated by 'pedophilic doomsday religious cult'

submitted 1 month ago by jet199 from dailymail.co.uk

  • 12 comments
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11
8

Employees Claim New CEO Consistently Pulls Penis Out 9 Steps Before Arriving at Urinal

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from prosportsextra.com

  • 15 comments
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7
8

A 2-Year-Old Boy Became Muscular, Grew Pubic Hair, and Developed a "Sizable" Penis Due To His Dad's Testosterone Gel

submitted 1 month ago by HongKongPhooey from iflscience.com

  • 21 comments
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