all 19 comments

[–]mirddes 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

give the dying woman her wish of a final face to face conversation.

missed opportunities to give dying people closure is the sort of thing that can haunt you for the rest of your life.

its not like he's gonna fuck his ex on her death bed.

[–]Musky[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

If I were single and dying I'd totally try to get a pity fuck from the ex.

[–]Canbot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That's just sad. Go fuck a high priced hooker and don't pay. Why beg an ex for sex? That's degrading. Especially if they moved on and are with someone else.

[–]Musky[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I find sex with strangers very unappealing, would much prefer someone I loved.

You don't have to beg, you can just ask her. If she says no so be it, but I have a feeling the number of woman who would have sex with an ex as a dying request is demoralizingly high.

As for the other guy, if there is one, I know it's horrible, but it's kinda nice to have a woman put you first. If she's gonna cheat she's gonna cheat, might as well be me if I'm dying.

[–]TaseAFeminist4Jesus 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thoughts? My wife doesn't own me.

[–]Musky[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why cause trouble for your marriage over a dying ex though?

She's probably regretting the end of their relationship and she has nothing to lose. I don't see any good coming from that, and yet, refusing the dying woman seems shitty and you're always going to wonder what she wanted to say.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]TaseAFeminist4Jesus 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

    “The Nigger Next Door” sounds like a white supremacist children’s book

    [–]In-the-clouds 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    The woman is his "ex" because he left her, gave up on her, severed the relationship.... even if it was because of something she did or said, and his choice was finalized when he chose to marry another woman. When he married another woman he declared the previous relationship was over.

    It's suspicious that he says they must speak in person face to face. How can the "ex" be demanding on how they communicate when they are no longer in a relationship?

    My thoughts: We should do more to be reconciled with people while they are yet living instead of waiting for them to die. It would be good for him to confess his faults to both his ex and his wife to gain their forgiveness. He could give the "ex" the option to communicate openly with him, so that his wife could also hear or read what is said, but not privately face-to-face. He would hurt his wife doing so and could even fall into temptation in person and make matters even worse. A safe option would be for him to send the ex a written message, allowing the wife to read it first. If the ex is serious about communicating, she will compromise on the requirement for it to be in person and also reply in writing for the wife to also see.

    [–]Musky[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    Maybe she dumped him.

    The way I see it, nothing the ex says is going to be any good for his current relationship.

    It's probably something like "you were the one, I messed up, I missed you so much," and "all I want is one last time together."

    I don't know if he should or not but he'd be walking into a minefield. Seems wrong to deny someone such a basic last wish and he'll always wonder what she was going to say if he doesn't.

    [–]In-the-clouds 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I think I agree with you. If she did or said something to end their relationship (even if she "dumped him") he moved on and married a woman who is now his wife, and he did so by choice, not willing to wait for the ex to come to her senses.

    He can be free from guilt if he gave her the opportunity to write her communication out, whatever it was she wanted to say. If she is not willing to do that, that is more evidence that he is being set up for a fall.

    [–]hfxB0oyA 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    He went no contact. I'm betting she put him through hell and he finally gathered the wherewithal to walk away, then the ex started pouring on the charm when he got engaged because she couldn't bear knowing he was going to be happy elsewhere. If I'm right, he got away from crazy and he should stay away.

    [–]Oyveygoyim 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    What a fucking pussy.

    [–]IAmYourDad 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)


    [–]Inspector_Monkfish 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Consult your wife but why should she have the casting vote? Do what you feel is right and deal with the fallout.

    [–]Canbot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I would not be asking permission to go see someone I want to go see.

    [–]Musky[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    They say happy wife happy life.

    [–]Musky[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    [–]hfxB0oyA 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Won't even say what she wants to talk to him about. One last manipulation by a dying emotional abuser.

    [–]ID10T 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I think a phone call instead of an in person visit is a good compromise. I kind of fall on the wife's side here. What good will come out of this for the living? This will be an annoying bone of contention for years to come. Maybe the dying woman's wish is to put a stick in the spokes of her ex's marriage.