Can I Bring My Pet Turtle?

submitted by Tarrock from (media.communities.win)

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[–]jostiniane 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

and programming socks

[–]JasonCarswell 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Good troll or earnest?

[–]aaarrgh 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

not earnest.

[–]fatman 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

earnest goes to jail.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Who would throw away a perfectly good dog?

[–]BravoVictor 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

This can't be real. Redditors are dumb, but they're not that dumb.

But in all seriousness, to answer his questions:

  1. You'll have a deluxe private suite in Ukraine's largest and most extravagant warehouse, until Russia vaporizes it, and you, with a cruise missile.
  2. Yes, you can absolutely change roles. Your corpse will be used in a number of roles, including sandbag and cover. Assuming enough of it is left intact.
  3. Not just can you bring a turtle. You must bring several turtles. Food is scarce, and turtle soup is very nutritious and high in protein.

[–]jet199 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Is that a euphemism?

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Is the turtle teenaged?

Kowabunga, dude!

[–]IkeConn 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Somebody this naive wouldn't last 2 minutes in a real combat situation.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Nonsense. My pet turtle was beloved by the entire platoon at Khe Sanh, and I was also the only guy who could consistently fix the printer.