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[–]soundsituation 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is hard to believe when you have low self-esteem, but the fact that she hooked up with a guy 40 years her senior only says things about her, not you. It's not like this old guy is universally preferable to you; it was one choice made by one person and says absolutely nothing about your desirability or worth.

She apparently has never had sex with a girl other than in a 3some that involved a man.

Did you know this before you asked her out?

I think therapy will help you with boundaries and with developing a less distorted self-image. As for surviving the pain: I think we never feel more emotionally connected to ourselves than when we're going through shit. Journal, read poetry, watch tragic love stories, listen to Boys for Pele...it might sound like twisting the knife a little bit but it's what works for me. Heartbreak feels horrible but it also makes you feel really alive.