I feel like crying.

submitted by asteria2002 from self.Lesbians

Some disgusting men told me " well even if you are lesbian as a women you will never find happiness, lesbians abuse each other and actually don't even fall in love with each other and are pedos" ( i know 100% sure that the last is fake, i myslef never saw anything in a younger girls nor did any of my lesbiand friends) and then gave me the studies on the "abuse" but i don't believe him. Why do people aways talk so negativily about lesbians? They always mentions how women are the problem when abuse happens that is why when even when no men is involved women abuse each other much more. Do you have a studies which counters his. I hate this whole world honestly. Each time i want a relationship this whole "abuse" circles in my mind and it just makes me deppressed.

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[–]Bright_painting 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (22 children)

There was an american study that looked into child abuse in lesbian families and do you know what they found? Of the 100 families they asked, they found none, 0, nada cases of child abuse. If we lesbians were as abusive as he claimed we were, the numbers would look way different. The men saying that to you is just homophobes and assholes.

[–]SailorMoon2020 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (21 children)

That study is said to be from 2011 and it makes sense because there are more updated studies that show the opposite. Here are some examples:

Hart Family Murder: white lesbian couple abuse their biracial black kids. When educators and neighbors report it, the system ignores the claims. Many point to racism as the factor. The Hart moms drove their kids off a cliff(relative to that study of kids).

In 2020, an UK woman, Greeca Gordon, killed her friend and roommate for not having sex with her.

A study from 2018 posted on NCADV state 43.8% of lesbians and 61.1% have been raped, stalked, or abused by their same sex partnered.

April 22, 2021, woman, Latisha Bell, shoots ex girlfriend in the head on camera.

And more.

Yeah, OP, the guys were asses but these things do happen in our community. And we shouldn't ignore them. I used to be friends with a woman who would rape drunk women at clubs. It happens...

[–]Bright_painting 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

A study from 2018 posted on NCADV state 43.8% of lesbians and 61.1% have been raped, stalked, or abused by their same sex partnered

I tried to find the actual study that you mentioned, but the only thing that I found was a fact sheet. It looked professional, but it didn't follow the scientific norms on how such a sheet should look like. It doesn't mention ANYTHING of how the study was conducted or how the results were treated. There were no methodology, no summery of the discussion and no diagrams to support their claims.(There was one diagram, but that didn't show any data relevant to the study's conclusion.) Even though it seems like its from a credible source, I can't help but to feel that something smells fishy about it.

[–]SailorMoon2020 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Since so many want studies, let me get back from Petsmart and I'll post some even with the headache of being on mobile.

[–]asteria2002[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

file:///C:/Users/xanaa/OneDrive/Desktop/Nieuwe%20map/Planet9/EXbsekVUMAA1FEn.jpg

Go searche up this link.

[–]SailorMoon2020 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I was denied access to that file.

Here are the links. There are more of course. Feel free discuss them with one another.

2006: https://equation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Comparing-Domestic-Abuse-in-Same-Sex-and-Heterosexual-relationships.pdf

2009: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2775776/

2010: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_ipv_report_2013_v17_single_a.pdf

2014: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/265394264_Same-Sex_Domestic_Violence_Prevalence_Unique_Aspects_and_Clinical_Implications

2018: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6113571/

[–]asteria2002[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Try rhis link: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E2jGxHrXMAAsNLi?format=jpg&name=large Copy it and paste on the searche bar.

Your source includes men, it says "by an intimate partner" Lesbian women have been in relationship with a man before they came out as a lesbian. "102 lesbian women" This is too small sample to be accurate, and again they didn't get asked about female partners but about their relationships in their life.

[–]SailorMoon2020 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I provided more than one source and they all clearly state lesbians and/or female who had/have intimate relations with other females. One sources even provides a chart.

I was asked for sources. I provided sources. If you and others do not like these sources then contact the organizations who created them. It makes me no never mind.

[–]asteria2002[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Abuse ofcourse happens, but it is not higher than that of the heterosexual women or homosexual men face. Which the other sources you provided actually emphasise. And the samples are very small, in one studies only 85 lesbian women were used.

[–]asteria2002[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

That of sailormoon2020?

[–]Bright_painting 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Yes, I went back and clarified that now.

[–]asteria2002[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

file:///C:/Users/xanaa/OneDrive/Desktop/Nieuwe%20map/Planet9/EXbsekVUMAA1FEn.jpg ^ This is an link, searche it up.

The domestic abuse of lesbian women down by women is actually 29.5%

[–]MyLongestJourney 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Where is the link? The only study I ever find whenever I research that 29.5 % abuse rate,is the same telephone survey which had a mere 112 lesbians as a sample.In case you are wondering,that is a very small sample.I am not aware of any other studies/reports/data that support that percentage.

[–]asteria2002[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is the same studies that people use saying that 43,5% lesbians are abused by an intimate partner, but only 67,4 are women who do it, and 32,6% were men who did it. Thsi the link: file:///C:/Users/xanaa/OneDrive/Desktop/Nieuwe%20map/Planet9/EXbsekVUMAA1FEn.jpg

[–]Bright_painting 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you for the link!

[–]MyLongestJourney 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Link to the study please. Sample size,quality,controls and methodology are important.

Edit.Yeap,it is the same old "study" I find every time I research the high levels of lesbian abuse case.A telephone survey from 2010.

1.The sample of lesbians was just 112 women!

2.That rate of abuse does not exclusively refer to female purpetrators.

3.The findings are not supported by another study.

[–]SailorMoon2020 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You can literally Google the studies by name as I wrote in my post. The only reason why I didn't link is because it's difficult via phone.

[–]asteria2002[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A study from 2018 posted on NCADV state 43.8% of lesbians and 61.1% have been raped, stalked, or abused by their same sex partnered.

Oh? Mind linking me to this researche? Tried to find it but without success.

[–]asteria2002[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

A study from 2018 posted on NCADV state 43.8% of lesbians and 61.1% have been raped, stalked, or abused by their same sex partnered.

Give me the link to this studies, i couldn't find it.

[–]pixipod 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think the study that is often referred to is this one: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_sofindings.pdf

The stats: Lesbian – 43.8% Bisexual women - 61.1% Heterosexual women – 35.0%

But I'm pretty sure male partners are included in these stats. There is a gender breakdown somewhere in there if I remember correctly. But in those overall stats above, I think men are included - think closeted lesbians, bi women who self ID as lesbians etc.

It also says this:

"Consequently, the basis of the key independent variable in this report, current sexual orientation, may not represent the sexual orientation of respondents when the violence actually occurred"

edit: Here's something from NCADV: https://ncadv.org/blog/posts/domestic-violence-and-the-lgbtq-community

"43.8% of lesbian women and 61.1% of bisexual women have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime, as opposed to 35% of heterosexual women." It doesn't specifically say partners of the same sex it just says 'intimate partner'

But the numbers seem to be pulled from the earlier study that I've linked.

[–]MyLongestJourney 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeap,that same damn "study" (aka telephone survey) with the 112 lesbian sample which still concludes that the main perpetrators of violence against women are men.

[–]SailorMoon2020 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

As I told one user:

Since so many want studies, let me get back from Petsmart and I'll post some even with the headache of being on mobile.

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Don't waste time reasoning with them. Men like them despise women who are never going to blow them, and they'll believe any pseudoscientific bullshit to justify it. If you can, cut contact with them. Life is too short to waste on idiots.

[–]MyLongestJourney 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Everytime I ask for a study that supports the notion there are high levels of abuse in lesbian couples,I always end up to the same telephone survey that :

1.Had a sample size of only 112 self IDed lesbians.

2.Nevertheless concluded that the main perpetrators of violence (especially rape) against heterosexual,bisexual and homosexual women,(especially rape) are men...

[–]piylot 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They hate to see you thrive without them, it makes them feel unimportant, and contradicts their view that women are usually the ones to blame for unhealthy relationships. Do these men also date women? What reasonable explanation is for them to feel that it's fine for them to date women but unhealthy for you to do so?

[–]WildwoodFlower 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This article is from 2010, but it's still worth a read: https://www.livescience.com/6073-children-raised-lesbians-fine-studies-show.html

[–]MyLongestJourney 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

and then gave me the studies on the "abuse"

Link me to those studies. I tried really hard to find reliable,methodologically sound studies on lesbian partner abuse but I discovered there are not any of those kind. I would really like to take a look at them.

[–]MyLongestJourney 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

and then gave me the studies on the "abuse" but i don't believe him.

There are no studies of abuse other than a telephone survey from 2010 (The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence survey) that had a very small sample of lesbians just 112.Statistically that is a very small sample with a large margin of error.And that percentage did not refer only to female partners.

So I seriously doubt they gave you studies,but if they did,please write them down and pass them to me.