this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2021

41 points (95% insightful | 5% fun)

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How often do you experience lesbophobia?

submitted 3 years ago by QueenOfTheNorth from self.Lesbians

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[–]yousaythosethings 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun - 3 years ago (0 children)

The bisexual men and lesbian connection is interesting, but I get what you’re saying.

Where I am, lesbians are stigmatized for our lack of attraction to men and not so much for attraction to women, because our culture pushes for female bisexuality. Lack of attraction to men is viewed as suspect and a motivated act or choice, not a natural phenomenon. Hence, there is a major divide in experience between lesbians and bisexual women. It frustrates me that a lot of bisexual women are unwilling to understand this. But there are chill bisexual women who do. I wish they were the dominant voice though. So lesbian women tend to be very quiet about their sexual orientation, even when openly dating women. They’re not the kind of people to say “I don’t like to put a label on things” and they don’t make a big deal about labels (that tends to be a more bisexual move in my experience) but they’re just quiet about it, not in denial about it.

In contrast, gay men and bisexual men are most stigmatized for their attraction to men. But there is a belief that attraction to men is a one-way street, so bisexual men either have incentive to identify as straight or gay. Because straight and even some bisexual women are going to view a bisexual man as functionally gay but also not “safe gay” in the gay BFF kind of way.