all 14 comments

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was pretty girly as a kid, but I also played sports, spent a lot of time outside, went to summer camp the woods every year, etc, so I wasn’t one of those girls afraid to get dirty or anything. I loved things that were pink and sparkly and mostly played with girls toys, but I started feeling different from other girls around age 10 when I realized the weren’t joking about liking boys... I’m fairly feminine now but I don’t wear makeup or shave, and I only wear clothes that are comfortable. I never wear heels and I always wear some kind of athletic shorts under if I’m wearing a skirt so I don’t have to worry about how much I move. I love baking and gardening, and I want to get better at sewing, but I don’t feel like I have to do those things because I’m a woman, I just enjoy doing them. I also love hiking, art, photography, and I recently got by bike fixed so I can ride it again! So yeah I would say I’m a femme and basically always have been, but I feel like it’s different being a femme than being a feminine straight women, because I can leave out the parts of femininity that I dislike since I don’t need men’s attention. (To be fair, neither do straight women, but being lonely isn’t nice). I did have a phase where I hated all girly clothing and activities when I was around 13-14, but I mostly just couldn’t stand not knowing what to do with my body while I was growing. I wasn’t a boxy little kid anymore but I definitely wasn’t womanly and I just didn’t know what kind of clothes to put on that lol. I think my hobbies have actually shifted to more “feminine” ones as an adult, mostly because I have my own space to do things like baking and gardening. My mom never let me bake at home, it’s “too messy”, and I can’t say I blame her, it is messy. It’s weird how I feel completely different now than when I was a teenager, but also completely the same. To be fair I’m only 21 so the only difference is not living with my parents anymore.

Short answer: no I was never really a masculine kid, I just also didn’t feel the same as other girls.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I am GNC now, and I consider myself to be quite gnc as a kid, too.

I hated dresses, I only wore them maybe once or twice and then decided I hated them lol. Same with skirts. Same with make up. I remember well how my mom put some make up on my eyes when I was like 8 or 9 (which is like, wtf), and hated the process of putting it on, and the process of getting it off. I hated wearing it, it always itched and I couldn't touch my face. I NEVER worn make up since)

I have VERY thick almost black hair (I'm white btw). My mom kept my hair long till I turned 11. Before that, it went up to about my waist or even lower. It was really heavy. I cut it first to above shoulder length (they didn't allow me shorter at that time even though I wanted to), and... Ah. I remember sitting in a hairdresser and feeling the weight go away and feeling free. I remember going outside right after that and feeling wind rub through my neck. It was incredible. I still remember that day so well, it makes me tear up. A year later I cut my hair to a "boy's haircut", as we call it here. It was kinda ugly, as all teenagers' haircuts are lmao, but I was happy.

I also loved climbing up trees, and just more physical games in general.

However, I also had some dolls and kinda enjoyed them? And I loved, if you remember them, WITCH and Winx cartoons xD I wanted to fly like them too. Anyway, while I was gnc in these ways, I still dressed more like a girl, I guess? Just no dresses or skirts or pink (hated punk too lmao).

One interesting thing to note, is that I grew my hair to about shoulder blade level and wore skirts for a while when I was really depressed and selfharmed regularly (it was 3-2 years ago). I hated how I looked back then, hated looking into the mirror, but I only now get why, kinda.

Now I'm back to short hair again and feeling free and happy once more, just like back then, in that warm summer day when I cut my hair for the first time))

As to your question, one thing I always hated and never understood, is why girls wear make up. I am a lesbian, obviously, and I don't find women who wear make up pretty or hot. Its just weird) I felt this way since I was about 11-12. I thought: "Why are you changing your face, you're already pretty", when I was a preteen. I still don't get it. And it wastes your time too! Just why? And I agree with your frustration at being boxed into the "feminine-masculine" thing. I also have mixed interests and behaviors, and don't get the whole thing. ESPECIALLY in the lesbian community, who seem to have weird stereotypes about masculine women, which I personally don't fit into.

Sorry for the wall of text)) I find it hard to restrict myself.

[–]QueenOfTheNorth[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I also cut my hair, first when I was 8 when it was very long (about butt length) up to my collarbone, and then when I was 13 when it had gotten to about ribcage length. I did it in three steps - first up to my chin, and then a proper pixie cut, and then I shaved it to the skin everywhere but at the front. Now it's back at collarbone length, which I'm alright with. I have very quickly growing hair and mine is very thick as well, because of Turkish blood on my mom's side. Mine is also very coarse and wavy, and let's just say that it grows like that everywhere lol. I completely relate to the feeling of freedom when you no longer have all their hair. I was enthralled by how light my head felt, how there was nothing to hide behind, nothing to constantly adjust and play with and run through my fingers. I also loved how quickly it dried lol, before drying my hair took more than a day naturally and about an hour at the hair dryer manually. No more laying down a towel on my pillow

And yes I remember winx club, I was also partial to monster high lol and I collected the dolls. I guess that's the more feminine hobby but really I just undressed them and made them date each other. I was a perverted kid!

[–]oofreesouloo 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

You sound pretty similar to me! When I was a kid I was a tomboy - most of my friends were guys and I thought girls were "boring" and hated dolls, dresses, things "stereotypically feminine". I've never been an "hardcore tomboy" though. For example, I've always loved to have my hair long and hated cutting it. As years gone by, I started gradually liking more and more feminine things (and women as well LMAO) to the point things inverted. I started to absolutely love everything about women, femininity, make up, dresses, fashion, etc etc etc. I started to think women were this like wow beings and boys started to become neutral to me. Practically all my friends were females and even to this day I rarely ever have male friends. When I do, they most likely feminine and gay or bi. So I ended up becoming a femme (not a high maintenance one though). I still have some "boyish" interests like I love sports for example (I hate watching them, only playing them), but don't we all have some "feminine" and "masculine" interests? And I started to not like masculinity as well. I look at my past, and sometimes I cringe like hard. Lmao. Things literally inverted. And yes, despite me enjoying a lot femininity, I feel like I see the world in a totally different way than other women, straight or bi. So yeah, this is it. Great post

[–]QueenOfTheNorth[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hard relate to men becoming neutral and women becoming goddesses... In films and TV shows nowadays I can't tell what male would be considered attractive or unattractive anymore and when I guess, my straight friends are always like "ew really??" I don't know! On the flip side I'm always watching female actresses on the screen and thinking wow, gorgeous... One thing I secretly like about the female form being objectified in media is the way that the camera almost always pans on women, lol, and focuses on female nudity, while you might see a hairy chest at most with men. I knew I was definitely a lesbian when I caught myself always subconsciously checking out every girl I passed on the street (in the causal up and down way you look at strangers walking towards you, NOT leering!) but men were invisible to me, unless they were threatening in some way.

I feel like being a lesbian means existing only for yourself. I feel so sorry for women who constantly have to worry about appealing to the male gaze. I love that about being exclusively female attracted

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I find the way people box personalities into either male or female very regressive because a lot of the time I see lesbians my age adding huge significance to their masculine and GNC interests and deciding they must be non-women as a result - nonbinary, trans, gender fluid, anything but female.

That's a real shame. I think these labels should be descriptive not prescriptive-- not prescribing judgments of what a person should be, and sometimes people take them that way (I see that a lot on Tumblr).

I quite a few masculine mannerisms and hobbies growing up, and still do, and still avoid feminine clothing; if anything, I think that was being suppressed by my situation/family, and I've felt more free to be a little more open with myself about my somewhat GNC-ness. While also trying to not feel like I should be any more than I am. It's a balance, I guess.

I really appreciate femininity in other women, haha. I wouldn't say I'm not at all, but it doesn't really feel natural to me, at least in dress/mannerisms/hobbies.

[–]QueenOfTheNorth[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, personally I'm really attracted to femme and androgynous looking women - I absolutely adore long hair, but I also like a pixie cut because it really enhances the softness in some women's features. Think Sinead O'Connor lol. Women in their natural state are also beautiful to me, there's nothing wrong with make up, but I'd take a bare face over a bunch of make up any day. I find the highly manicured and very made up, perfect, airbrushed sort of look kind of male gazey? All just my personal preference though

[–]MyLongestJourney 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was and remain very GNC in my interests and choice of clothing. But my libido and flirting is not "male" like.Never was.

[–]MissKing2you 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I was and still am femme. When I was little I used to looovvee playing house, but I had to be the wife and another girl had to be the husband. Whenever little boys wanted to play as the husband I would get so angry and end the game immediately. I also loved dolls (still do, they’re so cute), but I only loved the ones that look like babies (not much into barbies). I’ve retained a lot of that. I want a wife and babies and all that.

[–]homosomes 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was always a pretty masculine/gnc girl. I still dislike most things associated with femininity. Not because I inherently dislike things that are considered feminine, but because things considered feminine are personally uncomfortable. (Tight clothes, itchy fabrics, 500 step make up and skincare routines, doing my hair at the salon, shaving until you look like a hairless dolphin, etc.)

I did like some things aimed at girls. I had so many Barbie dolls and "girl" toys growing up. Even though I liked "boy" toys and hobbies more I always preferred playing with girls lol.

[–]Baroness 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I liked to dress very feminine when I was a little child. Then in my teens I started dressing like a boy. In my 20s I again dressed feminine, and in 30s back to tomboy fashion.

[–]Shinyowl 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was very much a tomboy, I loved running around outside.

Nowadays, I'm still really into the outdoors, but I'm very femme presenting. Literally nobody ever guesses that I'm a lesbian.

[–]RealCubeDreamer 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Always fairly androgynous. I was a tomboy who didn't care for frills and bows, and loved being athletic. As an adult I'm more interested in being active and doing things than I am in presenting in some particular way.

[–]Rubyredpython 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was more masculine as a young kid and was more feminine in my late teens/early 20s. I'd say I still lean more feminine in how I dress but I'm right in the middle in terms of interests. I don't think my definition of womanhood changed at all throughout the entire process. If I do it, it's automatically a part of womanhood for me.