I read the post in question (and the earliest comments). I re-read the post again and, while I appreciate the sensitivity, I did not interpret that post to be saying that if you were sexually assaulted/abused as a child, you are not really a lesbian.

I saw it to be criticizing two things: that a lot of straight men like to say that lesbians became lesbians because we were sexually abused as a child and/or have daddy issues and often imply that’s the exclusive or main driving force with the implication that female homosexuality is not natural. Which is stupid and we know to be untrue. As you pointed out, sexual abuse of girls and sexual assault of women is so ridiculously common that you will find it represented in virtually any and all grouping of women.

At the same time, there are a lot of straight and bisexual women out there who for their own personal reasons claim to be lesbians when they know they are not exclusively attracted to women. Many even say they are “choosing” to be. This is what political lesbians do and I’m still only beginning to understand this varied group of women. And unsurprisingly a lot of them do claim to be lesbians as a response to bad behavior by men. This seems to happen in adult life though and they tend to make themselves identifiable because they’re more interested in talking negatively about men (rightfully or wrongfully) and not about attraction to women. There are a lot of radical feminists who give me these vibes. For all of the thinking and reflecting they put out, it never seems to include mention or discussion of the realities, realization, or mechanics of their same-sex attraction, when I think we can all agree that this is a major part of our life experience that, if we hold ourselves out as vocal feminists, would probably make its way into our discourse.