Are you people for real?

MannyMandrake · 2021-02-23T04:01:07+00:00

A lot of people upvote posts without thoroughly reading or they just skimmed the title. I'm sure most people completely agree with you. The comments are more important than the upvotes.

ShotTopic · 2021-02-23T03:47:14+00:00

I found the post you're referencing and I don't think that's what the OP intended, but I can understand how it can be read that way and how hurtful that can be when viewed through a certain lens. I'm not a survivor myself, just dated one and supported her through all the court/therapy/panic attack stuff.

I know for some people it can be a source of doubt in the confidence of their sexuality (or they may have been told by others it should be a source of doubt), so I can't imagine reading a post with similar vibes was fun. And anyway, it's not like sleeping with women magically negates the risk of flashbacks caused by sex. So I really don't see the idea OP was bringing up (survivors faking their sexuality to avoid sleeping with men or something) being something that happens much, if ever.

Anyway, I hope your night gets better.

reluctant_commenter · 2021-02-23T03:54:17+00:00

Lesbians are female, and homosexual... which are two of the demographics most at risk for sexual/physical abuse. So it would be surprising if lesbians who had been through sexual assault or childhood sexual abuse were rare... and it is pretty unfair to generalize most of those as belonging to the so-called "political lesbians" crowd. I think there will always be some people who wrongly state their sexual orientation, be it political lesbians or trans rights activists or whoever. That does not mean SA survivors should be blanket-disregarded.

I agree with you, but I looked at that post and to be fair, the top comments had way more votes than the actual post. But I also stopped checking in here so often for similar reasons lol, so I guess I can't argue too much with that.

yousaythosethings · 2021-02-23T14:05:47+00:00

I read the post in question (and the earliest comments). I re-read the post again and, while I appreciate the sensitivity, I did not interpret that post to be saying that if you were sexually assaulted/abused as a child, you are not really a lesbian.

I saw it to be criticizing two things: that a lot of straight men like to say that lesbians became lesbians because we were sexually abused as a child and/or have daddy issues and often imply that’s the exclusive or main driving force with the implication that female homosexuality is not natural. Which is stupid and we know to be untrue. As you pointed out, sexual abuse of girls and sexual assault of women is so ridiculously common that you will find it represented in virtually any and all grouping of women.

At the same time, there are a lot of straight and bisexual women out there who for their own personal reasons claim to be lesbians when they know they are not exclusively attracted to women. Many even say they are “choosing” to be. This is what political lesbians do and I’m still only beginning to understand this varied group of women. And unsurprisingly a lot of them do claim to be lesbians as a response to bad behavior by men. This seems to happen in adult life though and they tend to make themselves identifiable because they’re more interested in talking negatively about men (rightfully or wrongfully) and not about attraction to women. There are a lot of radical feminists who give me these vibes. For all of the thinking and reflecting they put out, it never seems to include mention or discussion of the realities, realization, or mechanics of their same-sex attraction, when I think we can all agree that this is a major part of our life experience that, if we hold ourselves out as vocal feminists, would probably make its way into our discourse.

MyLongestJourney · 2021-02-23T13:13:10+00:00

Why the fuck then after a post was posted to say the worst thing we have ever been through would you then support a post that says sexual assault survivors are not really lesbians?

Who said that?Why do you lie?

Edit. This is the quote OP misinterpreted :

"recently reading in this sub about how many have been sexually abused got me wondering how it must have very few actual lesbians, meaning actual homosexual women instead of ‘I have a problem with men’ women, in a already very small lesbian forum. I’m a lesbian because I just happen to be homosexual. It’s not a political statement nor a moral choice nor a sexual abuse cope".

So what you claim OP is a total misinterpretation of her words.She did not in anyway say that lesbians who have been sexually abused are not really lesbians. She says she has an issue with political lesbians,aka bisexual and heterosexual women who co-opt the lesbian identity because they have a problem/traumatic experiences with men.

Wot · 2021-02-24T04:29:55+00:00

You're going out of your way to misinterpret her. You clearly see she feels alienated because so many in the "lesbian" community aren't actually lesbian at all but just running from men due to sexual trauma. She didn't prescribe that every lesbian is LARPing, she said she was wondering because that's exactly what happens so often and it makes complete sense why any lesbian would have these thoughts and despair over this. You should delete this for completely misunderstanding her and claiming she did something she didn't do.

pijung · 2021-02-23T21:52:10+00:00

lavalanche I really enjoy all your posts and comments but this is kind of a strange hill to die on. The post was from some teenager wet behind the ears venting. If you don't like what someone says move on. And also maybe don't speak for all sexual assault victims. Though its nice you want to fight for us? Infighting and calling everyone in the whole forum silencers is.... not the way to do it. I'm sorry that post really upset you but maybe look inward to why you're so upset by some new accounts forum post. I hope you feel better.

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