Hey everyone. I’m so glad i’ve found this page as an scape from the madness that is reddit/twitter/ the world as of today. I want to vent/ get some advice or read about someone else’s experience regarding an issue i’ve been dealing with.
I’m in my twenties, i’ve known i’m a lesbian since I was 14. I told my parents then, and have been out since after highschool. I don’t have a lot of lesbian friends, i’ve found that lesbians are quite difficult to find, so talking about this is complicated because people can be very quick to call you biphobic or some other crap.
Basically, 98% of the girls i’ve been with in my life have been either bisexual, or lesbians, but i was ALWAYS the first girl they were ever with, or had has sex with girls before, but not a romantic relationship. At first I didn’t care, then started getting tired of it because being a kindergarten for curious girls of first timers can get old real fast, but i thought it probably had to do with me being younger. I assumed most people realise they like the same sex or are willing to try it out as they reach their twenties. But the twenties have come and i’m still in this position.
I’m in a relationship now, almost 3 years strong. Things havent been going well recently, and i just realized that I think my gf isn’t sexually attracted to me. This sounds idiotic, i’m sure, but let me explain. I’m sure she LOVES me, she supports me, her love for me is genuine, but i don’t think she is SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to me, and i dont think she realizes it.
Our sex life was healthy for the first 5 months of the relationship. After that it started going dry, and i didn’t push because she told me she had some self steem issues she was going through. I never completely understood it but apparently she’s had some bad experiences with men in the past (she says she is a lesbian now, as in, doesn’t see herself having sex with men ever again) and was having trouble in bed.
This issue has me really upset and honestly idk how much longer we are going to last, which is terrifying to think about. I know that after reading this very badly written post the obvious answer is break up with her, but i’m sure most girls here know how that can be extremely difficult. The saddest part is that i feel very lonely and i dont have anyone to talk to this about. I want to feel wanted, desired, not just loved. I have sexual needs, I’m not a cartoon character, i’m not just a girlfriend in theory. I feel like we are best friends, which is amazing, but it became platonic. And i want a girlfriend. Has anyone else ever been through something like this?
[–]winterwillow 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun - (9 children)
[–]berlin13[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun - (8 children)
[–]winterwillow 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun - (5 children)
[–]berlin13[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun - (4 children)
[–]winterwillow 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun - (3 children)
[–]berlin13[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun - (0 children)
[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun - (1 child)
[–]winterwillow 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun - (0 children)
[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun - (1 child)
[–]berlin13[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun - (0 children)
[–]Golly 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun - (1 child)
[–]berlin13[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun - (0 children)
[–]HelloMomo 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun - (1 child)
[–]berlin13[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun - (0 children)