“What a waste”

submitted by [deleted] from (self.Lesbians)

Nothing enrages me like this comment from men.

I am femme. I have a societally “pretty face” so when I get hit on and tell them look I’m not interested I have a long term gf and I’m gay the most common response I get is “what a waste”

HOW DARE YOU. How fucking dare these disgusting imbeciles think that if we don’t want a penis we’re a waste? What goes through their minds to let them say shit like that?

It makes me physically ill for hours after when I get that comment. It makes me feel so devalued and small even though I know I’m worth a thousand times of that small idiot.

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[–]Poppy29252 19 insightful - 5 fun19 insightful - 4 fun20 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I haven't gotten that one before but I hear about it a lot. If I did though....bro I am a GIFT that no man could dream of being good enough for.

[–]CuntWorshiper 18 insightful - 4 fun18 insightful - 3 fun19 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

Maybe instead of ‘no I have a long term girlfriend and I’m gay’ you should say ‘no’ if he insist ‘no gtfo’. You don’t need to them him your life story. The more you give them information the more you’ll have to listen to their voice.

Now I’ve heard the ‘what a waste’ in other occasions (only online) I personally like to say ‘not that I would ever fuck yo ugly ass if I was straight’ just for fun. 😂

[–]soundsituation 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree with this, as a matter of both principle and practicality. No one owes anyone else any justification for sexual disinterest. Furthermore, I've found that assertive simplicity is also way more effective in getting men to leave you the f alone. When I was going out to bars, what worked for me was just saying, "no thank you", politely and with a smile. I think the kindness helped preclude any potential aggressiveness on their part, but it also fits my personality, so it was a good strategy for me.

I've noticed that a lot of very young women (my younger self included) feel like they have to debate these guys, when really your body and your desires should never be up for debate in the first place.

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

most of the time this happens is on my very public social media with my gf where they can already see I am gay and in a relationship. When I say that its almost a reaffirming that do you not have eyes dumbass this is an account that my partner is on with me

[–]plenty_water 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I am also a conventionally attractive lesbian woman and I have gotten this comment a thousand times. It is extremely patronizing. But, the statement is very telling of the personality of the man who'd ever utter it out loud.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

ugh its awful. dehumanising. I hate it.

[–]WildwoodFlower 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I never tell random men who hit on me that I'm gay. I don't feel like this is a safe thing to do.

[–]whateverbeaver 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Wow, how many times has that happened? The one I usually get is "but you don't look gay" lmao

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

a lot. It's disgusting. Especially on social media.

[–]whateverbeaver 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Wow, I'm so sorry you've been through that. Not fair and so disrespectful. Keep being stronger than that trash!

[–]Idyllicblue 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lol possible replies "Your comment is wasted on me. Go take your trash talk to someone who will value you."

"So is your time. Beat it."

"My life is more valuable without that kind of toxic comment. Get out of my face. Now. "