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[–]TarshishJupiter[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

For me, there were multiple things that I learned.

  • There are people out there who are capable and willing to love me, even being the way I am. I am also capable of loving people romantically.
  • I do want to end up with someone and not be alone. I like being with someone, even if it didn’t end up working out with this specific woman.
  • I’m actually a very sexual person, and having no sex in a relationship or very little is not for me.
  • I want to get with someone who loves being a woman, even if she doesn’t love how society treats women. I can’t be someone’s dysphoria crutch.
  • I understand why people rave about French kissing now.
  • No one is my “soulmate” or “one and only”. There are many possible women I could match the with, but none are a perfect match.

[–]TarshishJupiter[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I should add that my first relationship started out of a friendship that went back since we were kids. We had a lot of history and good memories. It was a romantic dream for the first summer, and then when we became long-distance while she was in college, it slowly deteriorated. Now I don't even have her friendship anymore, unfortunately.

[–]censorshipment 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I was 14. She was 16. I'd recorded the Canadian lesbian-themed movie "When Night Is Falling" (1995) on a VHS tape and watched it many times before imitating Petra and stalking Miranda (my first girlfriend's name). Petra stalked Camille in the movie, and that worked in her favor, so I did the same thing... with a little help from my cousin who knew Miranda and told her why I was following her home after school. I would stand across the street from Miranda's house in an empty parking lot of a baseball field, and one day she came out and stood on her porch staring back at me. I walked over to ask her out and she said yes. Our first date was at an amusement park with my family. My mom is bi and dated a girl when she was 17 before she started dating my dad when she was 19, so she had no issue with me dating a girl... she had an issue with Miranda being white. My mom had issues with homophobic/racist white women during the women's rights movement and didn't want me dating white girls, which I did anyway throughout high school (I had six white girlfriends in 4 years). Miranda said racist shit about my mom... at that time, my mom was a bit muscular, had a six-pack, and didn't shave... and Miranda said my mom looked like an ape. We broke up during my first month of high school in 1997 after a few months of dating. Her family moved after I did something disgusting (got the idea from the movie "Carrie"... Miranda looked similar to Sissy Spacek). What I learned from my first relationship is that I was too young to date (as my mom told me, but I was too miserable to wait any longer) and that teenagers should listen to their parents, especially if the parents have good advice based on personal experiences.

[–]homosomes 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I learned to never be in an codependent relationship just because you're lonely. :( lol

[–]whateverbeaver 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Currently waiting for my first long term relationship. As a mid-twenties gal, everyone I've met has only wanted hookups since I started looking for a serious relationship at 18. It's quite a pity. Once COVID ends, I'm hoping to get out there again and hopefully have some luck. You know, get my barista flirt game on ;)

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We were in high school. She made fun of me for loving The Twilight Saga and I liked to make her laugh. Eventually it evolved in to us messaging each other over FB IM at night to writing each other love letters at school during the day. Eventually it turned in to a sleep over at my house where we got to know each other without the distraction of our friends. We spent the whole fall getting to know each other. By Christmas break she invited me over to her house and we got snowed in and from then on we had sleep overs at her house every weekend. We would hang out in bed all day and talk and laugh, make out, make love, play with her brothers, listened to music, watch movies. She was a really nice girl and her family was really nice too.

From her I learned what true emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are.

From her mom and stepdad I learned what I’d like my married life to hopefully look like if that makes sense.

[–]Aurelius 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It was exhilarating. I felt manic to admire and be admired by someone I had fallen for. I felt like I wanted to do anything for her and always put my best self forward for her.

I suppose when it ended, I realized I should have been my more relaxed and down to earth self as it got very difficult to maintain my perfect self. I became a bit more distant and insecure when both of our rose tinted image of each other faded, and things inevitably didn't work out.

[–]Bright_painting 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm 18 going on 19 and haven't had my first relationship yet, but I need to say that this thread gives me hope. Hope that I one day will find someone that I can love back as much as she loves me.

[–]fckme 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We were friends for ten years through out high school, got together during Christmas break 2nd year of uni and lasted a good 3 years LD after. Didn't learn my lesson though as I spent the rest of the last decade faffing around with straight girls.

She was my first and favourite though, we had a chemistry that I've never experienced since. Humour, I guess. I need crying laughter and lightheartedness in a relationship. Up until the last few months when things started to get weird, being with her never felt like a chore

[–]Bananamoney 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We were young, both 18 and we thought we were straight (super heteronormative). It burned hot and passionate. I learned about myself. She cheated with men more times that I can remember. When she left me after 5 years I was suicidal and turning into a drunk. I moved 4 states away for three years. Visited home on my way to costa Rica. I met my now wife on my layover before traveling. Long story short, met my person and loving everyday of what respect and love really means.

[–]knownasness 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

um lol we were teenagers and we lived in different states. it went as badly as you'd think it'd go. it was a lot like how i imagine kids relationships are these days. we texted all day except in class and spent most of our alone time infront of her parents. it ended because entirely too many people were invested in our relationship and one of them was one of her friends that had a crush on her. said friend told her that i cheated on her. she believed them. that was that. we're cool now because she eventually found out that i wasn't and the friend was simply trying to "take my place". hahah dumb kid shit. i WANT to say it taught me to not let the whole damn world in my relationship. but like 7 years later i did it again and again it went badly hahahahha i learned nothing