all 12 comments

[–]votkriscan 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Isn’t that the way with non-gays? It’s always anything but genuine attraction. 😌

I think a lot of bi women can find a woman pretty or handsome (butch/tomboy). But they’ve never thought of being with one for real.

[–]whateverbeaver 12 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

My life of avoiding "bi" women of all types has been so peaceful and so full of logic and joy. Lol. Never going back. Never settle, ladies.

[–]babystud 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

These girls must not actually be into girls. how can you find women scarier than men after being hurt by several of them???

[–]censorshipment 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

No, they lack confidence to approach other women. Fear of rejection or a homophobic response.

[–]yousaythosethings 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I don’t think that’s a fair takeaway. Women aren’t necessarily a fallback for her. They’re just more intimidating. And I get it. Because as a feminine lesbian I’ve gotten a lot of attention from men in my life that I had no use for and didn’t know what to do with. But women can be really intimidating and it took me a while to dip my toes in and get comfortable. But there’s no denying that finding a female partner takes a lot more work, initiative, and dedication.

[–]censorshipment 5 insightful - 6 fun5 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly. And if you finally do get into a relationship with a woman, and it doesn't work, I bet it hurts much worse than breaking up with a man (I don't know... I've never dated men).

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]yousaythosethings 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Are you done having a stroke/arguing against yourself in a space that is not for you?

    As if I have not contributed enough content to s/LGBDroptheT and s/Lesbians for every other human being who has paid even a little bit of attention to understand that I mean “feminine” in appearance only here, and that I in no way subscribe to gender roles verbally or in the way I live my life, and that you’d be hard-pressed to make any serious argument that I do.

    Your point about “toxic femininity” is overstated. Being intimidated in trying to figure out how to flirt with women as a woman when that is something we have little guidance and examples of is a common experience for lesbians and bisexuals. Yes, lesbians have to deal with this head-on because we don’t have an alternative, unlike bisexual women. But recognizing that there is more difficulty here and involves more fear of the unknown hardly makes a bisexual woman honest, not a homophobic anathema.

    Are there bisexual women who do seem to want to treat lesbians like they occupy the traditional “man” role? Yes, I’ve seen it. But I base that on a lot more than what I see here.

    [–]Destresse 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

    I don't know, I don't think it was meant as "I want to date women because men hurt me", just two unrelated statements. Isn't it common for bi women to be afraid of dating other women? It's not the "easy option" after all, and in most cases is uncharted territory for them.

    I have never been hurt by a bi woman, so I'm totally willing to put a bit of faith in them haha

    [–]censorshipment 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

    I saw this as "men ask me out and hurt me. i'm too scared to ask women out." Bi women generally say they date men because there are more/only men asking them out.

    [–]WildwoodFlower 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I am not even interested in men and there are more/only men asking me out. So I can see where the bi girls are coming from on this.