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[–]funk_transcender 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you for the reply. I actually had to go off this site for a couple of months after this whole conversation and have a breather, since it was feeling too toxic. It means a lot my emotional vent at least offered some solace to at least one person feeling the same. I'm pretty happy to come back and see the fixation on this topic seems to have settled down a bit, thank god.

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hey! Yes, it did make me feel better; at the time I saw this conversation, I felt too hesitant to say it, myself, and I'm really glad you did. You hit the nail on the head.

I actually stopped hanging out on s/lesbians almost completely, but I think some of the older regulars who would talk about "goldstar" and bash bisexuals) are gone, I've noticed more thoughtfulness in recent posts. But I still mostly hang out on s/lgbdropthet. I've been meaning to get a more positive LGBmemes sub started for a while. You're one of many people I've talked to who got disheartened and left this sub temporarily or permanently, or who just needed a break because the topics were too negative.

Also, re-reading your comment I completely agree with this as well:

but this implicit expectation that eventually every lesbian will be a goldstar is just not realistic and non-goldstar lesbians will always be a sizeable proportion of lesbians. Lesbians are still people and they have wide ranging personalities, some are introverted and neurotic, some are extroverted and extremely comfortable with themselves, some intensely care what those around them think, etc.

Hope you're doing well. :)