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[–]Anniesworld 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

As a gold star thanks for the support. I have never once used that as a way to make fun of other lesbians. Why would I? It makes literally no sense for anyone to do that, I'd effectively alienate most of the miniscule dating pool I'm in and also who is that big an a-hole to make fun of someone for that. I feel privileged to have been able to live in a time and place where I didn't feel pressure to sleep with a man or to marry a man to survive. I am lucky, not more worthy or deserving of the lable lesbian. In other ways I'm unlucky, I wouldn't consider dating men when I was younger so I never got useful dating experience before my mid twenties.

I feel like that's definitely a negative thing most people don't think about. That you effectively don't date when you are a young gold star card holder. Unless you were hitting on every girl left and right in highschool you probably won't get much experience.

[–]Sapphicatalyst 11 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

In other ways I'm unlucky, I wouldn't consider dating men when I was younger so I never got useful dating experience before my mid twenties.

In a way, I consider gay people who dated the opposite sex in high school to be the "lucky" ones because at least they got the social experience, practice, and stories to tell of dating in their youth. Not ideal obviously, but just wondering if not dating at all vs dating the wrong sex is truly the lesser of two evils. I'm a gold star that considered myself asexual until my mid-twenties. Mid thirties now.

[–]bbbarbican 8 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

why would you regret not sleeping with men? Your comment is weird.

[–]Sapphicatalyst 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't regret not sleeping with men, it's just a thought experiment of wondering how would I be different today if I had. It's kinda like wondering what benefits I would have experienced if I was born male, at a different place, or at a different time. Would my parents and friends have treated me better? What sort of impact would that have had on me today?

ETA: If anything, I "regret" not being born straight, but I can't change that.