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[–]bbbarbican 8 insightful - 8 fun8 insightful - 7 fun9 insightful - 8 fun -  (9 children)

telling young lesbians that no, they shouldn't feel compelled to sleep with men to "be sure" is crucial. that it's ok to never sleep with men and to have boundaries. It's ok to feel zero attraction to men. Women are constantly told they should be available for sex with men. If you can't see that and want to frame the issue as some sort of irrational hatred for men, that's on you.

We live in a patriarchy, ALL women are defined by whether they sleep with men or not. like hello. Where is that place you live in where women get to be themselves with no relation to men at all? I would love to live there.

Also, the refusal of the term goldstar is a way for het or bi women to then claim to be lesbians, even though they have been fucking men for years with no gun to their head.

[–][deleted] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Lmfao not wanting to frame my identity in relation to men doesn't have anything to do with hating men. I am a lesbian who was forced to marry a man and therefore was with a man for 3 years before coming out. Does that make me less of a lesbian? NO.

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            [–]TalerTest 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

            no one said anything about hatred of men. I don't think you even understood the comment.

            Also, EVERYONE here is all for telling lesbians that they don't have to sleep with men just to be sure that they are lesbians.