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[–]Anniesworld 8 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 5 fun -  (8 children)

You made a valid point in a discussion, don't let other people make you feel bad about saying your thoughts. It's a pretty good point that gay men and women define ourselves on our non attraction to the opposite sex and attraction to our same sex.

So why does it matter so much to other lesbians, when lesbians choose to discuss that they had no sexual experiences with men. I mean sometimes I myself wish I had dated them to be more experienced with dating.

I think this whole gold star thing ruffles feathers on certain birds. Which I don't think anyone who uses the term as a description even means to do. It's not a malicious judgement on other lesbians, it's just a word.

We are all lesbians.

[–]Hydiee 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I define myself by my exclusive attraction to women. Men are not part of the picture.

And she didn't make a valid point because bringing up bisexual women calling themselves lesbians is a false equivalence.

[–]strictly 13 insightful - 6 fun13 insightful - 5 fun14 insightful - 6 fun -  (6 children)

I define myself by my exclusive attraction to women.

And some see their exclusive sexual history with women as part of their background too. Recognizing that we have only had sexual experience with women, and the impact that might have had on our lives, doesn't mean we automatically define ourselves in relation to men either.

[–]Hydiee 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Recognizing that we have only had sexual experience with women, and the impact that might have had on our lives, doesn't mean we automatically define ourselves in relation to men either.

I agree. But you do realize that if men didn't exist then the gold star concept wouldn't exist? You can care and talk about this stuff if you want, but when other lesbians don't share your passion, don't assume that it's because they are offended, jealous, bitter or whatever. Most of the time it's because they simply don't care that much about men and don't feel the need to give them significance within our sexuality.

[–]strictly 9 insightful - 6 fun9 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

don't assume that it's because they are offended, jealous, bitter or whatever

And I don't. I only assume someone is offended by it when they say the subject is exhausting/over-talked/pointless (or something to that effect) as someone who simply doesn't care about the topic wouldn't say anything (if a topic simply disinterests me I just don't engage in it).

[–]Wot 6 insightful - 8 fun6 insightful - 7 fun7 insightful - 8 fun -  (2 children)

But you do realize that if men didn't exist then the gold star concept wouldn't exist?

Neither would the lesbian concept lol

[–]Hydiee 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That's true actually.

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not really, even if there only one sex, or ten sexes, homosexuality is still staying homosexuality.