you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]StoneyTangawizi1 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Thank you for archiving them. Do you have the thread about goldstar positivity?

[–]reluctant_commenter 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yeah, here it is (and a few comments up, I posted several other links!): https://archive.is/3m1gI

I thought that was a great discussion.

edit: typo

[–]Wot 9 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

I gotta say I really do agree with OP and another commenter here. I don't think non-gold stars that willingly fucked men are really lesbians either because lesbian not only means attracted to only women but a lack of attraction to men. I don't need to fuck a dog, dead body or child to clear any confusion or insecurity or doubt about being attracted to them because I don't have even the possibility of being attracted to them. Yet, the capacity and possibility of being attracted to men and enjoy fucking them was on the table for the vast majority "lesbians" and that's very much the dominant experience instead of that lack of attraction. I couldn't imagine pushing the idea onto straights or even gay men that they need to fuck the same/opposite sex to learn themselves and them not overwhelmingly responding with, "cool story." lol

[–]yousaythosethings 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have no problem whatsoever with gold star positivity but I am not myself one and neither are the majority of lesbians I personally know, even the ones that I find impossible to picture with a man. While you are entitled to your opinion, there are a number of possible scenarios that can result in a lesbian not being a gold star due to having “willingly fucked” a man. Trauma often has a lot to do with how we end up in this scenario making the choice that results in us not being gold stars. It doesn’t mean we were ever attracted to men.

But I do believe generally that there is a scale of believability. Some people’s stories don’t really add up to them being lesbians and there are now resources actively convincing straight and bisexual women that they’re lesbians when they’re not.

[–]reluctant_commenter 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Trauma often has a lot to do with how we end up in this scenario making the choice that results in us not being gold stars. It doesn’t mean we were ever attracted to men.

But I do believe generally that there is a scale of believability. Some people’s stories don’t really add up to them being lesbians and there are now resources actively convincing straight and bisexual women that they’re lesbians when they’re not.

Completely agree.