Sucker like me?

submitted by fckme from self.Lesbians

After ten years worth of relationships that I just dealt with, hopping from one to the other without thinking about what I actually want out of it. I am finally DONE. 30 single and couldn't give a shit (do miss the making out though).

If my future ex doesn't meet the following requirements, I don't want it 1. At least bisexual (no bi curious, 'I think I'm lesbian' shit) 2. At least vegetarian 3. no new age crystal shit/angel worship/Dogmatic belief 4. Bike/backpacking is the ideal holiday 5. Has a hearty laugh and is really generally lighthearted and says 'fuck it, never mind' when something goes wrong 6. Disruptive mental health

My question is, how far do you compromise in a relationship/ when talking to a potential partner? I am personally through with it and probably reduced my dating pool to about an eights deep :D

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[–]Elvira95 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I just need a nice girl, who is gentle and sensible, and calm minded to give me peace when my anxiety make me think bad things, someone who is more positive since one already thinking the worst is enough. Also not super extroverted/I want to stay around people kinda of person, more introverted girl who prefer netflix and gaming to social chaos. I will not compromise on being feminine or not being dominant arrogant bitch. I'm fine with bisexual, but only the one with a serious interested toward women, someome who prefer women, not someone who date usually men and dating a woman for doing something different. Lesbians are always the best though. And I would compromise just to have a full on homosexual.

Disruptive mental health

That suck, I guarantee it.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Your future ex?

[–]fckme[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Due to circumstance and probability, haven't met her yet

[–]PasLagardere 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Luckily I’ve only dated lesbians. I’ve seen friends struggle with bicurious, heterosexual (who were more often than not in a relationship), ‘bisexual’ (but dating only men) girls and I’m glad I was never involved with that kind of women.

I think I would like someone smart, funny and kind. Who treats me as a girlfriend. A partner. An equal. Who doesn’t put me on a pedestal like I am some queen to dump me a year later after cheating on me.

Someone who takes relationships seriously and is able to be alone for a while. Who doesn’t use me like some blanket for their emotional problems.

And God may she be dominant in bed and good with a strap-on. It’s all I ask lord.

[–]fckme[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

'Someone who takes relationships seriously and is able to be alone for a while. Who doesn’t use me like some blanket for their emotional problems.'

Yes! I've had my own few problems and I've grown stronger for it. But taking on emotional baggage from a partner aw well is just exhausting. Reach out and talk to me, sure I'll be there to hold you up but I want to be your lover not your therapist.

Oh man, you vibe with a straight girl over a summer and try to make it work as a long term relationship. New motto: What happens in summer, stays in summer.

[–]SailorMoon2020 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

And God may she be dominant in bed and good with a strap-on

Hellooooooooooooooo, nurse!

[–]Lizzythelezzo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm confused by number six. Do you want someone with disruptive mental health, or do you mean you don't want someone with disruptive mental health?

[–]fckme[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

worded badly/badly worded. No disruptive mental health, please. Yeah I have a few days where I can't be arsed and could sleep through to oblivion but if that's your life philosophy, it's very draining to try and support, especially when every conversation is like the fucking cryptic crossword.

[–]lovelyspearmint 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You do realise mental health conditions aren't always life philosophies. I understand not wanting to be with someone who actively chooses not to do anything about their mental health condition, as that can definitely be draining, but you can't write off every person who has a mental health condition; there's far too many who do have some form of depression/anxiety/other.

[–]chickfactor 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She can write off anyone she wants, but she won’t have a very big dating pool after that particular exclusion!

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The women I've dated in the past have been either lesbian or bisexual. None of them have labeled them selves anything else, so I've been lucky I guess. I'm willing to compromise, but not when it comes to my boundaries (and not with food!). It's nice if she shares some of my interests (hiking, reading and cooking or just exploring the surroundings), but it's not a must. I just want someone to geek out with to be honest:) After a few relationships I realized that friendship has to be there otherwise it will not work. Also, sex is important. Different libidos could be a bit of an issue, so it's good if we don't have to compromise on that.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

"My question is, how far do you compromise in a relationship/ when talking to a potential partner?"

Nothing, not anymore. If I'm single forever, I'm single forever. Personally speaking, I'm happier that way; uncoupled and free to do whatever I want whenever I want instead of compromising everything in a relationship and barely having that reciprocated.

I know there are a few threads of lesbians (especially younger ones) being afraid they'll be alone for the rest of their lives and I feel for them because that's exactly what I used to think and spend all my time worrying about. Because I was so worried I'd end up foreveralone, I jumped into in a manipulative relationship with a woman I broke up with 4 years ago but is still stalking me as of a few weeks ago. This isn't to say I want to be single forever lol. But I'm fine if I am because (1) I know exactly what I'm looking for in a woman now which automatically cuts the small available lesbian population even shorter and (2) it's not really something I can control anyway.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Inspiring. Sucks about the ex though, I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Aw thanks. And weirdly enough, I only have to deal with her active stalking once a year (around the time we broke up). But I'm still planning on moving after the new year (hopefully out of state so I can never worry about her bullshit ever again).