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[–]CuntWorshiper 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Using a strapon is already heteronormative to begin with. But more, and worse than that, it’s lesbophobic. Comes from the ideas: Sex, in order to be sex, have to be phallocentric. Homosexuality among females don’t exist because females can’t have sex with each other (because we don’t have penis).

Read about ’Ancient Greek female homosexuality’ you’ll see. I get your point tho. Sex toy =/= a man. And this is the argument straight men (who acknowledge they’re straight men) have always used to tease and try humiliate lesbians. I hate that this strapon crap is associated with lesbian sex. Although strapon doesn’t turn a woman into a man, it does destroy her female anatomy regardless, imo. I can’t understand how someone who likes women (be lesbians, bi man and women, or straight men) can get aroused by it. 🤢lol

[–]piylot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

What if a lesbian couple don't believe a strap on is necessary to qualify something as "real sex" but still enjoy using it? Is the strap-on itself lesbophobic or just the idea that it's necessary?

[–]CuntWorshiper 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Lesbophobic for me is: the mix of misogyny and homophobia. Acknowledging that there’s some type of misogyny only homosexual women can experience and there’s some type of homophobia only homosexual women can experience.

The history behind it, is lesbophobic. It only exist in the first place because of the belief that “women’s bodies are not sexual”. This belief is quite old. In Ancient Greece men didn’t believe women (in heterosexual sex) felt sexual pleasure and that the only ones able to feel sexual pleasure are men, but not any men, only the ones who had penis AND used it to penetrate. People love to say that “homosexuality was ok“ among Greeks (the true is that it wasn’t). Homosexuality was only ok for the men that were tops because they were not considered homosexuals in the first place, the bottoms were slaves. And Greeks didn’t believe that they (bottoms) enjoyed sex, because they “played the woman role” and those that are penetrated don’t feel sexual pleasure. Those that were penetrated (men and women) were dominated servers. So it was ok for a free man that only penetrates to have homosexual sex. But the men that were penetrated very much experienced homophobia which in reality is just plain misogyny. Does that remind you of something? Yeah there are still people who thinks like this, even now, thousands of years later. Where do you think this belief comes from? Homophobia (against men) is just a arm of misogyny. You may ask what does that have to do with strap on and lesbian sex? Well... ‘Homosexuality among females didn’t exist’ because we were not sexual beings to begin with. We (Women) needed a very large clitoris or a strap on to have sex with each other, because sex was penetration and that’s it. And even in this case, the only one that (supposedly) had sexual pleasure would be the woman penetrating. In my personal opinion strap on itself is inherently misogynistic/lesbophobic. Even if you understand female anatomy, and don’t think like a woman hating Greek man lol. BUT, I am not the one - and never will be - that tells a lesbian or a lesbian couple what they can and can’t do in their bedroom and/or enjoy. The maximum I would do is try to get them aware of where this strap on thing comes from, since I know so many lesbians have no ideia. But my final take for lesbians is enjoy sex do whatever they want. I just feel upset that strap on is so associated with lesbian sex because when people assume (and people do make those assumptions out loud in my face) that I use it just because I happen to be a lesbian I get pissed.

Sorry for my English I’m not really fluent so you’ll have to forgive me :D

[–]yousaythosethings 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I appreciate your take and username. Your English is perfect.

I would add to your post, and you may disagree, that from my perspective sex with a strap-on nowadays isn’t inherently lesbophobic, but rather the expectation or belief that this is or should be the main/cornerstone lesbian sex act is. I’m not particularly fond of it myself, but also not categorically against it either. It is rather impersonal to me and just lacks a lot of the appeal of other other sex acts that involve pure body to body contact. Also, heteronormative sex and relationship dynamics do not appeal to me.

[–]CuntWorshiper 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

strap-on nowadays isn’t inherently lesbophobic, but rather the expectation or belief that this is or should be the main/cornerstone lesbian sex act is.

I don’t disagree. That was exactly what I was saying. The only thing I think is off is this “nowadays”. Strap on IS a expectation and belief of how sex should be. Not nowadays but always. That’s the point. This belief doesn’t come in a vacuum. Even if done now with complete lack of awareness from those who do it, is still the same old lesbophobia. Just the fact that this is even a thing is already lesbophobic. It’s obvious that is a expectation thing, most women, including heterosexuals, do not orgasm from penetration. The most important thing to female sexual pleasure, in humans, is placed in the vulva ;) hehe. The clitoris’ back is only a few cm of the vagina’s entry, and it’s in the vagina “ceiling”. The best way to stimulate it is with fingers, not penis. A penis can’t do that ‘come here’ move/gesture that fingers can, I guess lol. Strap on was created to make up that lack of real penis, that was supposedly necessary to women’s sexual pleasure and sex itself, but a penis isn’t necessary for women’s orgasm to begin with. Even for straight women. There’s plenty of straight woman on internet asking why they can’t orgasm through penetration, what’s wrong with them. And straight men asking why their wife/gf can’t orgasm through penetration, what is wrong with their penis. (See even now, era of internet, female’s anatomy and sexual pleasure is still wrapped in ignorance.) The strap on creation didn’t come from actual necessity but rather, expectation and belief of its necessity. So if the reason why some lesbians use it didn’t changed, how did it’s lesbophobic nature changed? If you use because you’re expected to then you think is a necessity.

Some lesbians may use it even if they don’t like it for the same reason some women accept being slapped in the face even if they don’t like it; because they’re expected to and everything around them involved in a way that make them believe that that have to do it or like, otherwise they’re boring, they’re not playing it right, there’s something wrong with that, something is missing. It’s manipulating. On the the other hand, if a lesbian actually like it, she can like it all she want, i still see it as lesbophobic. Likewise I can like when my woman call me dirty slut in bed all I want, but even if this is something I choose and go after, it won’t change the fact that ‘dirty slut’ is a misogynistic slur that exist to sexually shame women. That’s my main point since the begin we can do what we want in bed as long as is consensual and between adults. I’m not here to point fingers in women’s face and tell them what they can/can’t get wet for but just because we own our misogynistic sexual fetishes it doesn’t make them less misogynistic.

[–]piylot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think the source of our disagreement here is only in how prevalent we believe it is that women are using strap on because they feel like they should vs using one because they've tried different sex acts and found they enjoy that one. I think your description of what generally gets off is largely true but I also think different things work for different people, and that different forms of stimulation can result in different experiences of orgasm that some women may prefer over others (either generally or in a particular moment), it's not just about how fast or reliably one technique results in orgasm.

I don't mean this in any way to encourage you to try it btw.