all 17 comments

[–]WildwoodFlower 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I get too emotionally attached to people, so it's a no go for me.

[–]Lizzythelezzo[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's understandable! I guess I'd have to be careful of that. I would probably only want to see a FWB once or twice a month to avoid getting too invested, and not text a whole lot in between.

[–]begonia_skies 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I don't really like having sex with someone I don't have an emotional connection and some degree of intimacy with. It's just not that good and awkward. Getting to know someone, what turns them on, being vulnerable in front of each other because there is trust, that is so much better than basically banging a stranger. But that is just me, to each their own.

[–]Lizzythelezzo[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense!

[–]zephyranthes 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's a detriment for me.

[–]Lizzythelezzo[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Fair enough!

[–]MyLongestJourney 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Has it ever worked out for you?

No.Because I could not find another lesbian with the same attitude. That is,wanting nothing more than a friends with benefits setup.

What advice would you give to other lesbians who are thinking of getting into something like this?

Make sure the person you are dating wants this and does not have the secret goal of forming a relationship with you.

Personally I wouldn't risk an existing friendship for FWB but would be open with an acquaintance I just met

Very good point. Especially if its a very close and trusted friend.

[–]Athelhilda2 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Well, I have some intimacy issues and am still trying to figure out my sexuality, so friends with benefits or a one night stand would be ideal.

[–]SailorMoon2020 8 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

Oh lord, we got our stereotypical bisexual here now. One who is confused and doesn't want anything serious with women beyond that of sex.

[–]Athelhilda2 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

I'm not bisexual, I am in no way, shape, or form attracted to men.

[–]begonia_skies 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm not trying to be rude, but if you have no attraction to men then what you mean you are trying to figure out your sexuality? And how would a one night stand be ideal?

[–]Athelhilda2 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know if I've ever experienced sexual attraction, so there's a possibility I may be asexual.

[–]funk_transcender 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's not for me. I'm not religious but I do think sex is sacred in some way. Maybe I have some sexual hangups, or whatever, I don't know, all I know is it doesn't feel right to have sex with someone I'm not in love with.

The gap between an awkward one night stand I spend a month existensialising over, and the first night with someone I've fallen in love with... to me the two are so far apart I can't even recognise the first as 'sex'.

I'm in no way self-righteous over this... I've tried thinking this is what people in their 20s do... but it just isn't me and I don't think it ever will be. All the power to those who can compartmentalise like that.

[–]knownasness 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

tried it twice because THEY wanted to and it was fine until they developed feelings. i'm not too pressed for sex or companionship in any form so i won't ever bother with it again. just like any relationship, i'd advise people to make sure it's what they both want and to communicate when and if that changes.

[–]Disillusioned 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I had a friend with benefits, kind of. We didn't actually have sex. I liked her very much and she liked me, we were pretty similar and enojed hanging out together. I almost fell for her.

Now I'm in a relationship (and hope it won't end) but I think that the whole thing is not for me. I like having a good connection and intimacy before having sex and don't think that I'll have those with a "friend" and if I did, I'd probably fall for her!

[–]lmaonope333 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

it didn't work out

[–]Fuckyoucensorship 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd consider it but I can't help thinking I'd be stuck feeling like a dick when I'm not attached. I can seperate sex from relationship pretty easily but I still care about another person's feelings. If they got attached and I didn't I'd feel horrible about it.