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[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

As a foreign person in america honestly I find the wording of this question kind of tokenising and offensive..

[–]TalerTest 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I really don't see what's offensive about it at all. And Ricky_Ticky is also a foreigner where she currently lives (Germany), if I remember correctly so I'm sure she didn't mean it in any kind of offensive way either.

[–]lapislezzie 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Are you European? Because I can see how this would not be offensive from a European perspective, where countries are small and have distinct cultures but there's a lot of free movement between the countries so you often do run into the situation where you're dating someone from a different country and navigating culture quirks, and would want to invite others to share their similar experiences.

But to a non-white foreigner in the US, this question immediately hits as tokenizing and offensive if you set the same question here. There's a dehumanizing racial element to ascribing characteristics to non-white foreigners in the US that blonde foreigners in Germany will not experience. Like, it was cute when I was in London and a white British guy hit on my white American friend by saying she is so friendly and talks like the women in films. But it is skin-crawling when a white American approaches me and tells me I'm 'so cute' and sound like whatever the hell anime character they probably have printed on their body pillow and says they "always wanted to date a girl from an Asian country." Like I'm some exotic new flavor of kitkat they want to sample, and like the different countries in Asia or the millions of women from dozens of distinct cultures within my country are all interchangeable. (I might be especially sensitive to this because there are JUST SO MANY weirdos that have a thing for Asian women it's exhausting. And they ALL think they're not one of the weird ones.)

It's not like it's inherently racist or insensitive to talk about how people from different cultures have different norms and expectations or can introduce you to new perspectives. That's a great conversation to have. Sexualizing ethnic stereotypes and talking about dating foreigners like you're collecting pokemon is not that conversation though, and at least a few people ITT don't seem to understand that difference.

[–]SailorMoon2020 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I understand what you're saying. With post likes these, I often ignore or don't participate in because there is an idol beauty standard that is often mentioned and yes, after seeing that beauty standard often mention you eventually begin to see yourself as not that and therefore not participate. While Asian women both in the homosexual and heterosexual world(especially) have to deal with fetishing due to stereotypes, black/African women, or those mixed with black often have to deal with not being the standard of beauty because of our features. It two sides of the same coin: racial preferences based off of racial stereotypes. I honestly don't think non-white homosexual/lgb people can discuss racial issues like these unless they themselves are dating someone of a different race.

EDIT: Because when I've seen it brought up on places like Reddit, there's always a big sense of denial.