Being single is making me feel so lonely

submitted by villeknox from (self.Lesbians)

My ex broke up with me at the start of this year and since then I just feel lonely all the time. I'm content with life in general, but being in love/knowing someone was in love with me feels so superior to anything else i've felt in my life and I miss it so much.

I tried online dating, but I got so few matches and it really knocked my confidence. I've always thought of myself as at least average, but now I'm questioning if I'm more unattractive than I thought or if there's something wrong with me and if I'm going to be alone forever.

Just a vent because I know people here will relate, but if anyone has advice that would also be appreciated

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[–]RedditHatesLesbians 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Work on self improvement so that you're a really banging person to date when someone finally comes along?

Even though looks and attraction are obviously part of it, I think people swipe for the looks but stay for a vibrant and interesting personality. Unless you're particularly unlucky I also think everyone has the potential to be at least average and someone's exact type, so don't get down on yourself. Most "ugly" people you see just need a haircut, maybe some weigh loss and a better skin care routine. Maybe you're getting such few matches because all of the actual lesbians avoid dating apps like the plague nowadays (they tend to be overran by men in dresses and bi women looking for a third) or because of COVID, too.

I get being lonely, it can really take a toll on your mental health. What I've found helps me is getting really into a hobby, multiple if possible, and at least one being a social one. I do martial arts in a club with the same people every week and although I haven't found the love of my life there, it gives me a sense of community that keeps me stable lol. Maybe also get a dog for unconditional love

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You said you got a girlfriend, isn't much of a problem for you, anyway. Hobby always helps.

[–]villeknox[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh, definitely agree that people stay for the personality. I matched with some absolutely beautiful women, but they had such dry conversation. I don't really think I'm ugly (nor do I think beauty is the most important feature in a person lol), I guess I'm just no longer confident about being as attractive as I thought I was.

I have a dog and I did have a hobby, but it's been cancelled because of corona :( thank you though! I'm happy you have martial arts and I hope you find someone someday.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It’s not you, it’s covid

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

now I'm questioning if I'm more unattractive than I thought or if there's something wrong with me and if I'm going to be alone forever

This is relatable.

[–]FrostyNugs 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah dude I relate hard to this. Dating apps have taught me that I'm about as appealing to women as a dead squirrel on the side of the road that's been sitting in the sun for a week. And I'm not even that ugly. My advice would be to work on a bitchin bio, and take pictures in locations and poses that make you look interesting. I think most people would rather match with someone who's somewhat attractive but interesting, than someone who's gorgeous but boring.

[–]florasis 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Lots of lesbians got a problem with matches, I doubt is your look the problem. It isn't like being an hetero girl where you just need to exists and will have tens of dudes wanting to fuck you

[–]FrostyNugs 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lol well it doesn't help that I'm super picky about who I swipe right on. That, and that I have the minimum number of pictures because I never take pictures of myself (and they're boring af.) Still only getting a few matches a day though, and none of them ever go anywhere 💀

[–]lmaonope333 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

been lonely since the start of covid

[–]villeknox[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Oh yes, isolation is making it so much worse :(

[–]lmaonope333 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not even isolated, I've been an essential worker all through covid. But all the usual places I hang out and socialize are closed due to covid

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm so lonely and want to date so bad, but haven't bothered to try. Right now, I'm in a place where I don't think anyone would want me. I work and pay my bills, but I still live with my dad. If I could afford it, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat.