how to get over a crush?

submitted by chokeonartichoke from self.Lesbians

after a very long time of lurking firstly on r/truelesbians and now there, I decided to finally make an acc and post something quite stupid and embarrassing, but I can't keep it to myself anymore so don't judge, please :D so, I've been volunteering for quite some time at a local organisation and ever since I saw this one woman during our trainings for volunteering, i just couldn't get her out of my head - it's just the way she carries herself and talks and basically everything. these past few months I started to see her more, we started talking and it's so good, I just can't wait to see her again. but I'm afraid that I'm showing too much excitement while talking with her and it's making me kind of uncomfortable and scared, I guess, bc even if she's not straight, I don't think somebody like her could like me. I really just want to get over it...

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[–]Shroomba 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well first I think the most effective way is to find out her orientation. Either via looking at her social media if she has it, asking her about dating life situations, or directly about her orientation. If she's straight and/or taken then of course it's much easier to just accept it and move on. If you cannot find out or just believe that you two couldn't be a match for other reasons--age gap, incompatibility, etc. then my advice to you would be either distraction or waiting it out. I describe crushes, at least for myself, as little flames that simply die out over time if no gasoline aka reciprocation gets added to it. You can try to hasten the process by finding out how she might feel towards you or just focusing in on how you might not work out otherwise.

[–]Freetochoose 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What has helped me in the past is finding out if they are interested in me. Whenever I don't know, it keeps the fantasy alive. When I asked my crush and the feeling wasn't reciprocated, it has always helped me to close the door and move on. Always. Knowing (without question) that nothing will ever happen has been what I needed. I had a crush on someone for about 4 years. I would think about her often, dream about her and convinced myself that this all meant there was something between us. lol. I had it so bad. And one day I decided to tell her how I felt but it was not reciprocated. And that lead me to move on.

[–]peaked2020 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just move on. If she’s not interested that’s that. You make the choice to stay hooked every day like a drug addict.

[–]BigMommyMilkers 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Even if she's not straight, I don't think somebody like her could like me

Self depreciating attitudes like this are not attractive at all