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[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I agree. Some people need to work on their shit and stop using it as an excuse for all of their garbage behaviour or they will fail to connect to anyone in a meaningful way. and that is HARD to do. I do believe it is possible for anyone willing.

[–]Seahorse 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yep spot on.

Also if your ex was a douche, you allowed her to be a douche and you put yourself in a position to attract said douche.

People work on who they're attracting and once they do, they can go on to form a healthy lifelong partnership.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

EXACTLY. I’m not proud of choosing a couple of people who treated me like a doormat or like their personal issues were more important than my own feelings to the point where they only cared about themselves. It’s easy to slip back into relationships like that if you don’t be careful too. It’s work. It’s necessary if you want a partner

[–]lmaonope333 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I dont believe it's possible for everyone who is willing. Competent therapists are pretty hard to find if your issues are complex. Also, not everyone with emotional baggage treats romantic partners like shit. I know I don't. I'm just afraid of attracting narcissists and I dont trust people easily, so I avoid getting into serious relationships to begin with

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I didn’t say they treat their partners like shit, but behave in ways that make it hard to connect with other people. There are many ways that type of thing can manifest. I went to a few therapists before I found a good one, over the years. There is a good one out there for you, don’t give up on that aspect. For real. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.