all 20 comments

[–]SailorMoon2020 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (16 children)

If a woman touches you and/or plays with her hair when speaking with you, she's flirting and/or interested in you depending. Pay attention to culture if its relevant. I work in a department that deals with languages so I have employees who are from Africa, South America, Asia, Europe and of course, good ole' USA. One woman who was/is from Ukraine would talk to me and touch me, and laugh and play with her hair a lot. Besides from what Gaycation w/ Ellen Page taught me, I don't know a lot about Eastern Europe besides for Praque, but I do know their stance on LGBT.

So when this Ukrainian woman would touch me and giggle, I noticed(as well as my co-workers especially my eastern European co-workers but that's whole 'notha story). She would invite me to lunch. She bought me a new wallet because she noticed I had a turn up wallet when we went out to eat one time. She enjoyed having me over and playing with her VR and kill zombies while she watched. She was married. The man she is with is the only man she's ever been with. She is not happy in it. She kind of felt forced in it. He is Russian.

Another example is when this Mexican American woman I dated. She was/is from a conservative Baptist upbringing which was already strange to me since Mexican Americans tend to be mostly Catholic and Latins in general. Because she came from this ultra religious background, again, her touching me and playing with her hair were all acts that is a no-no due to the lack of modesty, sexual implication, lack of purity, etc.

So in other words, body language: touches, hair, laughter.

Culture and/or religious background: how normal is it for such actions to take place?

Another example, women from Asia China, Japan, S. Korea, India, Iran etc tend to be touchy with each other; so if a woman from one of these countries is touching you or laughter, etc. I wouldn't look too into it.

Now American women are touchy, and open with women they're friends with. If a woman who is not your friend is being overly touching and/or open with you, she's probably interested. Women who let you use their car. I dated this one woman back in college because I figured she was into me when I told her I was going to Gamestop to get a video game. I was going to walk because I didn't have a car then. She then sent me a text and told me to stop by her class to get her keys.

Hope this helps, sorry for the essay.

[–]Innisfree 9 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 5 fun -  (9 children)

Pretty insightful!

If a woman touches you and/or plays with her hair when speaking with you, she's flirting and/or interested in you depending.

In Eastern Europe, most of the lesbians of my generation are butch looking. So i am just imagining the lot of us, starting to play with our hair and touch each other loooooooool as in never gonna happen. Isn't the world a big and wonderful place lol

[–]SailorMoon2020 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It wasn't until I wrote the comment, I realized I was coming from an interacting with femme pov. That women who are butch/stud probably won't do what I wrote above. =D

[–]Innisfree 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

No worries. It wasn't until I wrote mine, that I realized it may sound like a reproach. I was just genuinely amused by the imagery. Besides we're all in the know here, we don't need to make caveats :)

[–]yousaythosethings 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Soooo what are the signs of a butch lesbian being interested in your experience?

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Looking at your mouth. A lot.

[–]Innisfree 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Prolonged eye contact and what Strictly said :)

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Or not being able to maintain eye contact. That’s how i can tell, they look down a lot. I am quite direct in my gaze. One time a woman on the train showed me her wedding ring when i was looking at her and shrugged in apology lolol

[–]Innisfree 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Intense gaze = cover blown :)

Or not being able to maintain eye contact.

True that. I forgot myself with this one woman on the bus, not once but a few morning commutes. She looked like Rebecca Hall, but more beautiful - is my excuse. Anyway, one day she stared right back at me and held a neutral gaze for a while. Like an opening, a question? To this day I wonder what did her look mean, why have we unlearned to speak to strangers on a bus, and above all why I looked at my feet too soon! :)

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I speak to everyone. I am that person, the friendly person at the bus stop who jokes around with strangers if they seem bored or willing. It’s a good skill to have!

One time i Was staring at a woman’s ass and she caught me. She turned really fast and looked at me because i think she knew! She laughed and i was so mortified.

[–]Innisfree 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Omg no way lol! You know, this is the kind of experience we need to hear more. So we stop thinking ourselves into being afraid, what's the worst that can happen - apparently a bit of mortification. But it is a good skill to have, both the talking and the ass staring lol

[–]VioletRemi 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I feel so sorry for my fellow ukrainian.

[–]SailorMoon2020 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, she was a sad one. They moved her to another department without her desire. We stopped talking because she said she didn't want any rumors getting back to her husband or family back in her country.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

While some of this can be true, I also think it is over generalizing as well.

It also depends on the individual in question.

I play with my hair when I'm thinking or processing information. I touch people all the time, no matter if I'm interested or not, even though I'm a Mex Am from a very religious Protestant background. 🤷‍♀️ Like if we are going off of your ex, Latin Americans tend to be touchy, while she wasn't.

Culture is important yes, but a person can't solely depend on that.

[–]SailorMoon2020 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Well duh, is that not common sense? Lol Of course it's generalization and that there will be exceptions. I'm not gonna start off every post with generally speaking hohohaha

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Hmm, I'm sorry if you see this as an attack on you, but it isn't. One would hope it is obvious. I was just not sure since you did write an essay on it as you said.

[–]SailorMoon2020 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, I didn't feel attacked. I was just like, "what...of course". I also did say 'depending' in the beginning because I assumed someone would be like 'not all', etc.

[–]VioletRemi 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Start flirting back? Just don't overdo. Maybe invite to caffe one day, touch her hands.

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Does she know that you're a lesbian?

You can always try and talk to her about something LGBT related. I was wondering about one coworker last year. We went on a trip together and Trump was making a speech on TV, so we started talking about the government and policies. Once she said, "I'm totally fine with 'the gays' as long as they don't parade it in my face," I got my answer.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Her body is turned toward yours wherever she is in the room.