all 45 comments

[–]florasis 32 insightful - 12 fun32 insightful - 11 fun33 insightful - 12 fun -  (6 children)

Ever heard the biggest joke? The butch trans lesbians. They can't even make an effort to look feminine, so they say to be butch lesbians. Saw one on OKcupid. It's fucking hilarious.

[–]ColdSoup[S] 30 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 0 fun31 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I can't get over how full blown men are using the terms butch and femme! This reminds me of a straight man joking about how he's a lesbian because he likes women too 😒

[–]florasis 24 insightful - 3 fun24 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

It was always a joke, but now is treated seriously. When I saw that profile of a fat dude calling himself a butch lesbian, literally my whole expression was "WTF". He also said to have multiple girlfriends. Yeah... others dudes lol

[–]ColdSoup[S] 20 insightful - 6 fun20 insightful - 5 fun21 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I wish it was other dudes. These trans women don't ever seem to want to date each other. Almost like trans dicks are feminine right up until it comes to having one in their mouths.

[–]Seahorse 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah and top/bottom cringe

[–][deleted] 17 insightful - 7 fun17 insightful - 6 fun18 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Applaud men for dressing like men!

[–]florasis 16 insightful - 10 fun16 insightful - 9 fun17 insightful - 10 fun -  (0 children)

So stunning and brave

[–]florasis 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Actual lesbian is mostly hetero dude saying to be woman and bisexual girls. A real lesbian will be out of place there. It's quite ironic for a sub with that name lol

[–]VioletRemi 32 insightful - 10 fun32 insightful - 9 fun33 insightful - 10 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, and just /r/Lesbians is men-moderated sub with porn and nothing more. And rest of lesbian subreddits were banned for "hate speech", and that "hate speech" was "lesbians don't like penises". SOOO hateful!

[–]oofreesouloo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)


[–]TarshishJupiter 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

And their wives who are also claiming to be "lesbians".

[–]LeaveAmsgAfterBeep 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Their wives either enjoy the fetish and share it themselves or are too afraid to contradict it. None of these straights with extra steps even understand a little bit what being a lesbian is like lmao, and they never will and that somehow seems to be part of the fetish!

[–]Jessica1993 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

The fact that they have an "ally" flag for actual men to post is an absolute atrocity, they know damn well those men are only there for one thing but they don't care because they only care for the sub count and attention and not having dignity and providing safety for a minority to be able to be in a community of their own . Lesbian Actually is a little bit better because that one is mostly pics and not actual discussions to melt your brain and luckily very few trans post there .

[–]florasis 17 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 3 fun -  (6 children)

Transwomen are actual men

[–]Jessica1993 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Yeah, but they also allow for as they call it "cis" men to post, which is weird as fuck, i mean they consider transwomen as women but actual straight men men is like wtf ? They don't even pretend to care anymore

[–]florasis 13 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Repeat after me: trans women are actual straight men

[–]Jessica1993 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I already know that, i was just explaining it from their mentality which doesn't make sense and it's contradictory

[–]florasis 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

All their mindset doesn't make any sense. They should change the sub name, if they had a bit of honesty

[–]lurkergirl 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

A quarter of men who transition are gay.

[–]LeaveAmsgAfterBeep 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

From their mindset a straight man is just as likely to be a tw “egg” to post a year later as a beautiful transgurl uwu

[–][deleted] 15 insightful - 8 fun15 insightful - 7 fun16 insightful - 8 fun -  (4 children)

I only have one question: Are you a "TERF"?

[–]ColdSoup[S] 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I don't believe trans women are women anymore - so by their logic, yes! However I'll have to do more research before I decide if I actually agree with the radical feminist POV even though I'm definitely a feminist, and either way I don't think I'll be trans-exclusionary because trans men are victims of the patriarchy too. Serious answer to your jokey question but yeah.

[–][deleted] 21 insightful - 4 fun21 insightful - 3 fun22 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

I don't know anything about radical feminism but I am a TERF. It doesn't mean trans-exclusionary radical feminist. For the most part, it just means lesbian 😁

[–]ColdSoup[S] 23 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Lol, it seems to me now that it's code for "shut up lesbian and suck my girldick" more than anything else. How often I saw the word girldick may have contributed to me noping out of there... Blehhh

[–]piylot 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Radical feminism has generally recognised trans men as oppressed under the patriarchy too. The TERF label was created by outsiders who never read into the theory more than skimming over it and reacting with outrage.

[–]Jessica1993 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I just do not understand those freaks, don't they have their own sub or hell like 5 different ones, why would they post on a sub called ACTUAL LESBIANS, the name sub seems more like a parody and not only that but there's also a lot of bi or pan people commentating again on a sub called ACTUAL LESBIANS because we can't be "gatekeepers", even though if a, as a lesbian would comment on a bisexual sub for example, there would be hell to pay, bisexuals are allowed their own community but not us .

[–]ColdSoup[S] 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's male socialisation to colonise and force their way into any space that doesn't cater entirely to them.

[–]VioletRemi 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Welcome home :)

Where did I go once I had my revelation? Reddit of course!

Yeah, that is what I am saying. Real lesbians were banned from every single big platform, and now when young lesbian is trying to find anything about herself and maybe some same-minded people - she will get to places where she will get only hate for being who she is, and where nothing is talked about lesbians.

[–]ColdSoup[S] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yikes. Awkward how a subreddit meant for lesbians has something THAT homophobic on it.

[–]TarshishJupiter 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Thanks for your story. I've always gotten the feeling (and outside pressure) to "try" a date with a guy just to see if I liked it (even though I'm aware I'm a lesbian). But I can see from your story that it would just be a bad idea.

My question for you is, before you peaked, were you aware that transwomen were calling themselves actually and truly female?

[–]ColdSoup[S] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm glad you've stuck by your guns! I'm glad I figured things out without it coming to sex/marriage, although I don't really understand how any lesbian can even get past the date part without feeling very uncomfortable. Another space I went into was latebloomerlesbians and so many were married to men, after my experience this seemed like a huge mindfuck. I guess it makes sense if you live in a very backwards area and everyone's experience is different.

To answer your question. I was aware but I truly believed that this was a small minority, and that most trans women were just trying to live their lives in a way they deemed most comfortable. I thought that a group shouldn't be judged by a few bad apples but it turns out this is way more pervasive than I thought previously and has actual consequences for women. I don't think all trans people are bad or harmful, but there certainly seems to be a lot who are nowadays.

[–]TarshishJupiter 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Some women are told sex and intimacy with men will be uncomfortable, so lesbians who are goaded into marriage with men just take it as a matter of course. They just believe they're "frigid".

I used to believe marriage would be that way when I thought I was straight. I didn't look forward to the sex, but I always thought I would have to have it with a man. I'm glad I found out about being a lesbian when I was 19-20 and not later in life after getting married to a guy and having kids with him.

Yeah, I don't think all trans people are bad either, it's the ideology I believe is harmful. Similarly, I don't believe that all conservative Christians (ones who believe that women shouldn't speak or lead a church) are bad. In fact, one is my very good friend. I just believe the ideology is bad.

[–]ColdSoup[S] 11 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I thought I was frigid too until recently, frigid and picky and with unrealistically high standards, and that any discomfort and lack of desire was due to trauma. It's interesting how much culture can fuck with your head.

I remember telling everyone when I was a kid that I'd never get married and that I was just going to live with my female best friend forever... Maybe that should have been a clue? 😂

[–]carrotcake 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

While I was reading this post I thought about something. The only trans women that I know of that don't make ANY efforts to look like a female or to ditch shitty male behaviors are trans lesbians. Trans straight woman don't usually do that because no man would date them. Patriarchy gives them power and confidence enough not to date women just because they don't have a big butt, imagine if they'd ever date someone who claims is a woman but looks just like a man and acts just like one. 'Queer' women on the other hand will make anything 'valid'.

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I had a similar experience. I never bought into the "transwomen are women" mantra, but before coming out and going onto online lgbt spaces ~5 years ago, I would have described the typical transwoman as male-attracted, petite, demure, passing, and post-op or at least planning to be post-op one day.

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would often describe r/TrueLesbians and now s/Lesbians as inherently gender critical as we obviously make a distinction on trans people based on biological reality and sexual orientation. In other words, we’re lesbians who seek a lesbian space.

Not everyone on here or other spaces I moderate are or have to be rad fem. Is there an intersection? Yes, but it’s not a requirement. The requirement here is XX chromosomes and homosexuality.

[–]oofreesouloo 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Welcome to the terfy side 😁 also, most terfs are not even feminists like myself. If you don't like dick, you're automatically a TERF.

[–]LesbiSilly 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Terf since Birth!

[–]verystablegenius 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

welcome to sanity. sorry /r/ tl doesn’t exist anymore. that was a great place.

[–]piylot 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Personal question so obligation no offence taken if you don't respond, but I'm interested — Was your therapist a straight man?

Did you continue to see them after realising you're gay? ie did they ever find out this is the final outcome of trying to work on your male aversion?

[–]ColdSoup[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes, he was a straight man! Do you think that contributed to it?

I'm not seeing him again, but I let him know my realisation in the last session we had together and he seemed happy for me, yet oddly disappointed. However I chalked it down to him being upset I left since I've been going to him for over a year. I may go see a female therapist in the future since I deal with a lot of mental health problems and therapy is the best way I've found of dealing with them - the male aversion wasn't the main focus by any means - but I don't think a male therapist is a good fit anymore. I feel like any female therapist, straight or otherwise, would have considered the possibility of me being a lesbian and discussed it with me, while he never did.

[–]piylot 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was just wondering, it's a pretty awful situation to be in regardless if it's a male or female therapist, was just thinking about how upsetting that would have been had I been in that situation when I was younger. Hope things have been easier since

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Did you come across the stuff where they talk about how great their dicks are or how it's transphobic not to date transwomen (even with penises)? That's what got me out of there. Also that some of the comments seemed pervy to me. Like, there would be threads asking about what your first time was like, or what sex toys you like... and some of them would be by women and then some would be accounts with no post history. Also the transwomen on there and their posts history is AL, gaming, yuri, hentai. Like, come on.

Edit: also a word of advice, don't get sucked too far into the GC community. Yes there are positives in that they are a feminist community however they are just as much an echo chamber as the TRAs and some of them are genuinely transphobic.

[–]Jessica1993 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And they are also homophobic and lesbophobic too, they claim to be with us when they talk about trans but they secretely talk shit about us and group all of us with them, they aren't our real allies

[–]Seahorse 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hairy hugs in lipstick 🤣