Anyone else get really sick of heterosexual culture sometimes?

submitted by Depressed from self.Lesbians

I mean, most people are straight and I've long since accepted that the majority of the world reflects that reality. Movies, TV shows, all other form of entertainment. Advertisements, memes, real and online conversations apart from in specifically LGB spaces. But damn, if I don't get sick of it. I'm not sure if it's just the sexualisation of women, or if it's just heterosexuality in general.

I mean, yet another long make out scene in an otherwise enjoyable movie. Yet another straight sex scene in a good TV show. I'm guessing straight people put themselves into these situations in their minds and therefore enjoy watching them, but I just find it icky. Like I either look away, feel uncomfortable or just stare at the woman the whole time lmao. I'm the type of person who really gets invested into characters in media personally and a graphic or extended heterosexual love making sesh pretty much ruins that for me. Totally my own problem and I can't expect the whole of society to change for the tiny minority, but if I can't vent about it here then I don't know where I can, lol.

Or just my homophobic family who I'm not out to for obvious reasons who keep talking about me getting a boyfriend. Or straight women constantly talking about their boyfriends, even more so if they clock me as a lesbian, as if I care? Bleh.

It's tiring that heterosexuality is such a norm, and that homosexuality is an after thought of an after thought, in all cases.

Just a rant but this is something I go through every now and again.

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[–][deleted]  (9 children)

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    [–]WildwoodFlower 26 insightful - 4 fun26 insightful - 3 fun27 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

    I especially don't want straight MEN writing "lesbian" storylines.

    [–]Rubyredpython 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    This! I'm so tired of men writing lesbian stories.

    [–][deleted] 10 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 4 fun -  (6 children)

    When straight people write and direct lesbian dramas you get abominations like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCEIqOZnfLQ

    It includes every single stereotype you can think of, the most awkward and uncomfortable looking sex scenes and worst of all one of the lesbian characters sleeps with her male friend because she was feeling sad and lonely. Just yikes.

    [–]writerlylesbian 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

    For better or worse, Lip Service was written by a lesbian.

    [–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    Are you sure? In her interviews she never mentions anything about being attracted to women. In fact, she almost seems to subtly avoid that.

    Edit: I always just put her down as one of those straight/bi women who romanticizes wxw relationships but has never actually been in one.

    [–]writerlylesbian 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    I have no idea what the writer is doing these days, but she was well known in the lesbian UK community 10 years ago when the show came out.

    I think the reason why the show is full of terrible tropes is because of trying to pander to a straight audience, and because the writer wasn’t that talented so had to go for cheap drama and weird sex. Technically, I think Frankie is meant to be bisexual but more orientated towards women, but then half the time she gets called a lesbian anyway, which isn’t cool.

    [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    Yeah the writer has pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. I think the writer wholeheartedly created Frankie to be a lesbian character, but doesn't understand that lesbians won't just start sleeping with men because we are sad or lonely. The writer always refers to lesbians as "they" or "them" instead of "us" or "we" so I'm leaning towards her being straight.

    [–]writerlylesbian 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I think it was cynical marketing. I certainly remember that when the show’s creators were on the lesbian arts circuit, they would talk about Frankie as bisexual. But then in the wider media, they’d refer to her as a lesbian. Basically to perpetuate the idea that guys still get to bang hot lesbians, because that always plays well with the straights.

    The show actually shoots down the sexual fluidity argument with the creepy dude who had a crush on his lesbian friend. Though everything about that plot line is handled atrociously.

    Lip Service overall was just a money grab to try and perpetuate the L Word’s success, without really understanding why fans actually liked that show.

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yeah I completely agree, it was more about money than anything.

    [–]whateverman 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

    I'm used to it. It's everywhere.

    I'm more tired of straight people not knowing how to interact with me because their sexuality pervades everything they say and do. God forbid I be nice to them since they'll misinterpret it as flirting. Parties are just for straights to find someone to fuck. I feel like an alien. They're so fucking horny all the fucking time. It's easier to ignore in the ads, media and stories. But it doesn't just end there.

    I feel at ease with lesbians and gay men. Straight friends are nice, but they don't really understand.

    [–]florasis 12 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

    You mean men? Straight women aren't like that. And do you have any idea of promiscuity among gay men? lol

    [–]whateverman 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    Yeah, I do. But it's not directed at me and or present within our interactions. When I interact with gay men, I at least know their sexuality isn't AT me.

    I've had plenty of straight women assume I'm flirting with them. They'd ask if I was into them, if I'd ask them out if they were gay, if they were my type, etc. They liked the idea that I might want them in the same way a man would. Pure validation. Some would get mad when I'd flat out say I would never be interested in them.

    Some would find out I was gay and would become homophobic and hostile because obviously I'm into them because I'm a lesbian.

    Do I have straight friends? Yeah. But we're different and it colours our interactions.

    [–]florasis 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I know what you mean. Many will treat you differently when they know. And the women, yeah, many will just start seeing normal nice behaviour as a sign you're into them. It's pure narcissism. I remember reading a comment from a lesbian saying that her sexual orientation fucked her up, cause she couldn't relate with vast majority of women and men. In a sense she's right. You cannot relate completely and people can act in embarrassing ways.

    [–]circus_cyaneus 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    That's how I feel. Can't relate to most men, can't relate to most women. Can't relate to most "kweer girls" or lesbians my age, either, because I'm a bit more socially conservative than the average. The friends I have are all very dear to me, but there are areas of our lives where our experiences differ in pretty radical ways --and this is OK with me! You become friends with people for many different reasons or even none at all. It just gets a little difficult and strange sometimes.

    [–]oofreesouloo 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Okay, you're just like me. That's exactly how I feel overall.

    [–][deleted] 19 insightful - 3 fun19 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

    i have to constantly remind myself that other women are attracted to men and actually enjoy it lmao. i have to look away from scenes in movies too, seeing men touch women makes me super anxious. i often wonder what my mental landscape would look like if literally everything catered to my sexuality, if i could pop on a lesbian romcom marathon like it was nothing. bizarre to think about.

    [–]VioletRemi 13 insightful - 10 fun13 insightful - 9 fun14 insightful - 10 fun -  (0 children)

    seeing men touch women makes me super anxious

    I am always screaming "you're doing it wrong, learn how to please a woman, ffs!" :D

    [–]Depressed[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Right! I can't watch romcoms for this reason. Maybe it's because of past experience or just because I tend to not be able to watch media in a detached fashion, but it just makes me so uncomfortable.

    [–]Lessom 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I don’t watch anything where hetero love is the main storyline. It’s so dull.

    [–]florasis 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    It is what it is. At least we're lucky to live in a time where representation of lesbianism is more common than ever. We're a tyny minority, this can't never change.

    [–]a_blue_bird 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Am I tired of heterosexuality - no. Oversexualization of literally everything - yes.

    [–][deleted] 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    I am so, so bored by it. I'm also irritated by how it's always being pushed on us from the get go. I understand that most people are straight, but when even straight folks start complaining about the obligatory heterosexual love subplots in almost every piece of media... yeah.

    [–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Not sick? I just don’t care for it much. Then again I don’t watch too many dramatic shows. I prefer comedies or more action packed shows, so the romance is always an aside. Im not bothered by love scenes, like, I’m neither excited for them but also they do nothing for me. I don’t know. I try not to give things that don’t have to do with my personal life a lot of range on my time.

    ETA: But also, endorse projects that do have lesbian romances. I know they are not perfect, but the more we give it our attention, the more investment there will be. Just look at Wynona Earp. It’s fans literally kept the show from getting cancelled.

    [–]spirette 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    I'm tired and bored out of my skull of heterosexuality shoved in my face 24/7: movies, ads, books. We are bombarded with this shit. I'm especially annoyed when straight women complain that it's "so hard to find a man these days" and I'm like rolling my eyes and thinking "yeah, try being a lesbian with 1% (if that) of the population part of your dating pool"

    [–]yayblueberries 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

    And then they do find a man and they do nothing but complain about how alien he is and doesn't understand women, yadda yadda. My empathy just goes poof it's like, first off, my friends know I'm a lesbian so why do I want to hear them bitch about men? They SHOULD know better. And second, that's what they get. Not only am I a lesbian, I am also a radfem, I watch them choose such horrible specimens. Not that it seems like there are plenty of great men, there are probably FEWER than 1% of those. But it's like come on, we know that men are socialized to disrespect women and view women as objects, that's what you're likely to get. Big surprise there.

    [–]spirette 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    IKR Also good to know some of us are actual feminists on here.

    [–]RedditHatesLesbians 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Mehh. I'm sick of seeing women being objectified, to be sure, but I just don't personally seek out media with a huge heterosexual romance plot. Media where that would be a problem generally doesn't interest me, since most of the time it's a good indicator it's catering to heterosexual males in other ways too.

    [–]writerlylesbian 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yes, I completely get what you're saying and I feel the same way. I don't engage very much with most western TV and movies, and this is part of the reason why. Just boring het story after boring het story. But for me it's coupled with the fact that I don't like a lot of US media, and the US tends to dominate that arena.

    I know that anime and manga (rightly) tend to be viewed by suspicion/disliked by many around here, but, if you dig through all the pandering trash, there are some lesbian storylines and characters in anime that, in my view, in quality far exceed the vast majority of Western lesbian content. Third season of the original Sailor Moon anime (called Sailor Moon S) is always my go-to example, but there's many others. Also, there's a lot of slice-of-life anime series that focus solely on groups of female characters, with no men in sight, and while they're generally not lesbian as such, the characters still get to have storylines and character development that doesn't revolve around 1) getting with a man, and/or 2) being constantly surrounded by men and never interacting with another female.

    [–]Jessica1993 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    I honestly sometimes wish i was born into an alternate universe where it's the opposite around and everyone was gay and kids would be created in a different way . If you believe in the alternate realities theory maybe it's still possible for one day to slip into one like that, not while we're alive unfortunately .

    [–]MyLongestJourney 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Anyone else get really sick of heterosexual culture sometimes?

    The majority of humans are heterosexuals.It is very logical that most shows will center heterosexual people. I understand that.

    Or just my homophobic family who I'm not out to for obvious reasons who keep talking about me getting a boyfriend

    I am out to my family since my late teens (I am in my forties now) and my grandmother still wishes for me to find a good husband every time I talk to her over the phone.My mother until few yeas ago pressured me to have a kid because she wanted grandchildren. I kept telling them that their wishes were not mine and they eventually stopped bothering me for the most part.Just keep your cool and simply state it is not for you.

    [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    It honestly doesn't bother me, though most of my favorite hetero romances (In the Mood For Love, Girl on the Bridge, Shop Around the Corner, etc), they barely touch each other, if they touch at all.

    [–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Yup, I've stopped watching movies because of boring het subplots lol. But at least with movies I can turn it off. Irl, hearing my friends gush over boys is just exhausting.

    [–]fuzzyfuzz 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

    Tired of the sexualization and degradation of women being pushed as 'empowering', tired of gender bullshit infecting all the lesbians my age, tired of seeing straight women literally die for a crumb of male attention, tired of being friends with straight girls and just being her backup plan for when she breaks up with her bf and wants company. Tired.

    [–]Skipdip 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    It’s hard out there rn :/

    [–]LeaveAmsgAfterBeep 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Tbh I just fast forward over het love scenes because every year they get more fake pornographic :)

    [–]circus_cyaneus 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yes, or rather the sex-crazed culture in general, be it homosexual or heterosexual. I'm not prudish, asexual, or have any sort of sexual hangups; it just seems obvious to me that it's neither healthy nor sane to enslave yourself to your sex drive and have your entire life revolve around satisfying it. It's even more annoying when straight men (and women) turn an entire sector of the population (e.g. lesbian women) into little more than a vehicle for attaining said satisfaction.