This post is locked. You won't be able to comment.

Is romantic orientation legit?

submitted by lmaonope333 from self.Lesbians

[removed]
all 40 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–]Seahorse 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

No, in my view it's a way for bisexuals (mostly women) to justify their homophobia and basically use lesbians/women for sex.

[–]oofreesouloo 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

This. And I think this also applies a lot for bisexual men too. There are lots of self proclaimed ""straight men"" that cannot accept their bisexuality and eventually will say they are heteroromantic bi. No wonder there aren't any homoromantic bisexuals.

[–]PopeyesChicken 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I’ve seen homoromantic bisexuals too. They usually also start calling themselves lesbians.

[–]oofreesouloo 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh, okay. I would guess they are much rarer, no? Or much like a phase lesbians go through while figuring themselves?

[–]spirette 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

ding ding ding!

[–]yousaythosethings 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Idk that I’d jump right to calling it homophobia necessarily in all circumstances but I’m also protective of that word because I don’t want to dilute its meaning.

[–][deleted] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

as far as i know it was originally meant for asexuals to describe their desire for a more intense, romantic connection with someone sans the sexual attraction typically expected of a partnership. then the internet went wild with it. now you've got kids calling themselves "heteroromantic bisexuals" for god knows what reason. i'd imagine they'll grow out of it.

[–]PopeyesChicken 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It’s basically a woke way to say “ew, I’d never actually date a woman!” Many of these girls just have internalized homophobia

[–]zephyranthes 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is, but not for people who use this particular term.

(I don't experience sexual attraction. I have the papers to prove it to the extent medical science can. Gonna quote my old post:

I never identified as asexual: the "community" was stupid back when I found them (circa 2005) and it's awful and misogynist / handmaidenny now.

misogynist: "Unlike those sluts, I only sleep with people I am really attracted to!"

handmaidenny: "Of course I'd be happy to suck your girlcock, but I'm asexual and I'm just not feeling that special connection... those non-asexuals on the other hand will be transphobic if they refuse"

I'm over 30 now, and I've never felt desire for anything "pleasurable" to do with genitals. (Maybe it has to do with growing up during the sexual revolution, when you'd be hard-pressed to find a school copybook without porn ads on it.)

I love women. I love women's hair, women's eyes, women's shoulders and hands, women's waists and hips, women's legs (in shoes only, kthx). I love "women's" clothes and styles on women, fluffy hats, fluffy hair, elegant coats and flowing skirts, and "men's" clothes reimagined for women's shapes (like fitted three-piece suits). I love "men's" clothes and styles on women (they're considered unisex in my country when worn by women - there's nothing a woman can wear around here to look deliberately "gender-nonconforming"), work uniforms, sports uniforms. I want to find a woman who I'd be happy to risk if not give up my life for, and spend my life her, and raise children with her.

But genitals are gross, and boobs, while not gross, are for babies.

[–]oofreesouloo 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, it's dumb (unless the person is asexual)

[–]WildwoodFlower 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have had romantic but not sexual feelings for people, but that was when I was a kid and didn't have those kinds of hormones yet. Now that I am in peri-menopause, my feelings for other women do tend to me more romantic and less sexual. But the sexual is still there. It's just less intense. Maybe in another ten years, it will be gone. I don't know. But most of the people on the Internet who are discussing their romantic orientation vs. their sexual orientation (or lack thereof) are not in a pre-sexual or post-sexual age group.

[–][deleted]  (28 children)

[removed]

    [–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (24 children)

    I don't understand. You are sexually attracted to women (lesbian) but don't want to have sex with them (asexual)? Can someone be both asexual and homosexual? Don't the two conflict in execution?

    [–]oofreesouloo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    She would be homoromantic asexual I think.

    [–][deleted]  (22 children)

    [removed]

      [–][deleted]  (21 children)

      [removed]

        [–][deleted]  (19 children)

        [removed]

          [–][deleted]  (18 children)

          [removed]

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [removed]

              [–][deleted]  (15 children)

              [removed]

                [–][deleted]  (13 children)

                [removed]

                  [–][deleted]  (12 children)

                  [removed]

                    [–][deleted]  (11 children)

                    [removed]

                      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                      [removed]

                        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                        [removed]

                          [–]oofreesouloo 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                          That's a good atitude!! I would appreciate it if I was dealing with an asexual person. That way, we wouldn't be wasting no one's times :) we could even be awesome friends after, but at least wouldn't waste time on romantic goals. Because reality is that most people want sex lol and find it important for a relationship.