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[–]whateverman 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Do you have that other thing happen to you with straight guys that categorize you as a male-friend equivalent? Where they call you bro and say things they would never say around a woman they want to fuck? Like, what is that? It's like, because you're more masculine-presenting and attracted to women, they forget you might not like some of the sexist jokes and objectifying comments they have to make.

Doesn't happen to me now that my hair's long and I wear feminine outfits.

[–]VioletRemi 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I actually only have two gay men friends and one straight, but he is relative and with mental health issues.

[–]whateverman 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have a few close guy friends, but they're all old friends from my school years or extended family. I don't think I could easily befriend other men now.

It's weird. I can see them, empathize with them and try to understand them, but there's this tacit understanding that they're always thinking about women, sex with women, being with women. It's weird and the only thing that seems to turn it off is shared history or being categorized into a non-fuckable label (family, old friend). If they can't do either and they're not attracted to you, you don't even exist and they won't even see you. They'll outright ignore you and barely recognize you as a fellow human being.

It's so frustrating because there's this part of me that wants to say "I'm human too and I wish we could be friends," but they'd never see any value in that. You're either a fuck hole or you're nothing.

[–]lairacunda 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I had one male friend for a few years. Can't remember now why I thought it was a good idea. Maybe because he was gay and pretty innocuous and we had some things in common. The thing I started to notice at some point was that my expectations of him were a lot lower than for women. He mostly used me for emotional support when things got rough for him. He was nice but bland.