Just was thinking

submitted by [deleted] from self.Lesbians

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[–]votkriscan 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I've never thought of lesbians as "ugly". There is no common sense to that. Your physical appearance has zero to do with anything except for the culmination of both of your parents genes. If both your parents are "ugly" or you take after the "ugly" one, you will come out "ugly" no matter how heterosexual you are. I find that these train of thoughts derives from two kinds of homophobia.

The first one is the thinking that all lesbians should magically be three times more beautiful than straight women. So when they see lesbians who don't match their fantasy definitions in their minds, they are bashed as "ugly". Even though I like pretty women, this is homophobic. Why should lesbians purposely have to look a certain way instead of being regarded as ordinary people? Literally, straight women who are not good-looking never face the kind of constant expectation and vitriol aimed at lesbians (unless they participate in social and feminist causes which makes them open to attacks from bigots). I never hear anyone say not good-looking straight women are the wrong type of straight just because they aren't very nice-looking. It's only if a woman is not good-looking and a lesbian, it's due to the fact that she is a lesbian.

The next is good old-fashioned homophobia largely by straight men, who are the ones chiefly responsible for parroting the "lesbians are ugly" angle. However, most of these men are ugly/neckbeards themselves, so it's quite irrelevant. Besides, straight men are often the least nice-looking, due to the fact that society and their dating demographic have the lowest expectations from them when it comes to their physical appearance.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Then I guess you were just lucky 🤷🏻‍♀️. I was just sharing something that I’ve been dealing with since I was a child that lesbian was just another word for ugly and that only ugly women are lesbians, regardless if a neck beard told me that or not, which at that age, I wasn’t around neckbeards period and most of this was from straight women.

[–]votkriscan 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And I was merely sharing my thoughts as well, with a focus on how these ideas came into play.

Straight women often echo the things men aim at them. Many straight men abuse the word as a slur towards straight women. Something like, "Oh, if you are lesbian/feminist, you must be ugly, there's something wrong with you and no man or cool people would ever want you. Teehee." So some straight women have come to artificially fear the word, and also use it as a form of self-validation, where they attack others so they can feel they aren't "like them".

Personally, since I'm actually a lesbian, I don't care. I find the jealousy of these men amusing, and these kind of straight women childish and handmaiden-like. I only care about the opinion of pretty lesbians (from where I am from, for example), of which their mindset is rather different.

Straight women in their natural state (minus societal/religious influences) actually do not have a problem with lesbians beyond the "cooties" (like the imaginary assumption of lesbians possibly "perving" on them). They actually dislike women who are prettier than them even more. The psychology behind all of it is rather interesting.