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[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

What do you guys think? The survey suggests that 23% 31% (edit: yikes I'm sorry) of r/actuallesbians are, actually, lesbians (going by our definition). I don't know about you, but that's more than I was expecting.

That's a lot of people who could be here in this sub! Any way we could try to reach out to them more?

[–]Innisfree 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I'm willing to bet that these are people form a younger demographic who perhaps are very concerned about not offending anyone in the LGBTQ+ and may be enjoying the appearance of an all-loving, all-accepting community. The key word here is of course 'appearance'.

I think it's fantastic you did the data breakdown- thank you! It's always good to have reliable info (well as reliable as we can from a survey). I am wary when I see these over-generalizations "There are only men there". While not far from the truth, the more we know, the better we can understand what is happening.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm willing to bet that these are people form a younger demographic who perhaps are very concerned about not offending anyone in the LGBTQ+ and may be enjoying the appearance of an all-loving, all-accepting community. The key word here is of course 'appearance'.

I'm really inclined to believe this, myself. That is what I used to like about Tumblr/AL, back before I started really digging into transgender stuff (and my own sexual orientation). And we can talk about people in the trans rights movement being manipulative-- but quite frankly, I think a lot of well-meaning people are being misled by a manipulative few.

People want to be understood and accepted. The participants of AL skew so young. I am guessing most have never even questioned how a movement that purports to be "loving and accepting" could be ANYTHING otherwise. I personally am capable of believing it.. because I have firsthand, personal experience with people who are that manipulative, and I could easily imagine a movement led by them. Ironically-- the straight people claiming to be LGBT (among nonbinary trans, medically transitioning trans, late bloomer lesbians, bisexuals, asexuals, etc.)-- are far more likely than us to have had secure relationships and attachments, growing up. They're less likely to have been abused by highly manipulative people in the first place. And I kind of wonder if that's part of why some find it impossible to see LGBTQ+ in any sort of bad light. They just haven't had that experience yet.

Thank you!! :) I agree about over-generalizations. It is clear that it is not "just men" in AL-- there is actually a solid minority of lesbians (lol), and it is just not fair for us to pretend they don't exist.

While not far from the truth, the more we know, the better we can understand what is happening.

Yup, totally agree.

[–]mangosplums 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I agree generally with this comment, but I have a question about one part-

Ironically-- the straight people claiming to be LGBT (among nonbinary trans, medically transitioning trans, late bloomer lesbians, bisexuals, asexuals, etc.)-- are far more likely than us to have had secure relationships and attachments, growing up. They're less likely to have been abused by highly manipulative people in the first place. And I kind of wonder if that's part of why some find it impossible to see LGBTQ+ in any sort of bad light. They just haven't had that experience yet.

Aren't the straight people claiming to be LGBT the ones who are being manipulative though? So they aren't the ones who are being misled, it's the actual gay people who are. And I do agree the people generally probably haven't had an experience with people who are this manipulative before and do not recognize it for what it is.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Aren't the straight people claiming to be LGBT the ones who are being manipulative though? So they aren't the ones who are being misled, it's the actual gay people who are.

Some of each-- not mutually exclusive.

  • Some straight people claiming to be LGBT are doing it to be manipulative.

  • Some straight people claiming to be LGBT are being manipulated into thinking they are LGBT-- for example, a straight GNC girl whose bigoted mother decides her daughter must be a boy because she is "failing" at being a girl. Or the straight women in unhappy marriages who read the "Comphet master document" and become convinced they are lesbian because they hate having sex with their husband-- despite not feeling attraction to women.

  • Actual gay people are also being misled as well.

That is what I have seen, anyway.

[–]mangosplums 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh I see what what you're saying, yes I agree with what you say. Yes, many of those people are not deliberately identifying as the wrong label, they are trying to be well-meaning.